Cry Lovely

'Anxiety shot through my veins, raging fires. I don't know what I want. I'm confused. Broken. Searching for hopeless love. It's hiding, I'll find it one day not today. No one will love a broken girl. She has herself. Her mind filled with psychotic thoughts.'


10. Oblivious

I was shocked. Even from his tiny peck it sent chills all over my body. I opened my eyes to look at him but he was no longer sitting next to me. I turned around to see him walking up to his car. I got up and followed. We both got in and didn't say a word. I watched him turn around so he could watch the road as he backed up the car.

"Harry?" I asked fiddling with my fingers. "Mmhm." He looked at me. "Thank you.. for everything." I looked out the windshield and back at him. He nodded and bit his lip. He continued driving. We stayed silent the rest of the drive. He finally pulled up to his driveway. He bolted out of the car and nearly knocked his front door down. I was confused but got out quickly to go inside. He was in the kitchen flopping a towel over an inflamed frying pan. The fire alarm was beeping like crazy. I took it down off the wall and took the batteries out it didn't stop. I threw it into Harry's freezer. The beeps were muffled now. The fire was finally out and Harry sighed with relief and turned his head to look at me standing next to his fridge.

"Looks like I burnt our breakfast." He smirked and threw the towel into the trash. "Would you care for some cereal?" He asked locking his eyes with mine. I nodded and bit my lip. He pulled out two boxes from the cabinet to his right. "Cheerios or lucky charms?" I took the milk out of the fridge. "Cheerios." I handed him the milk. I leaned up against the counter staring at his back. He handed me my bowl and we both started shoving our faces with cereal.

He looked up at me from his bowl and set it aside. "Would you ever want to live in San Francisco?" I looked up at him my eyes wide. "I visited the city when I was young and fell in love with the tall buildings and bridges. I've never considered running away there though." Harry looked at me and smiled. "I have a flat about a mile from the beach. Would you like to getaway with me there?" I was surprised he had another house. "You have two places, how can you afford that?"

His eyes darkened a little. "After my dad passed all his money came back to my mum and I. We saved it all and locked it away in the banks. We still have our house in England just incase her and I decided to move back there. Once we moved here to America my mum moved into this house here and she bought us a summer home in San Francisco to escape every now and then." I remembered how his mother was in the hospital and it made me worry about Harry if I was making him leave his mother. "You." I stopped myself. "What about your mum. I don't want you leave her she needs you."

He took a step closer to me and I took a step back hitting my back into his fridge door. "You can meet her if you like." He cautiously asked looking down at the ground. "I'm serious, I couldn't stand the fact that you would have to leave her." I wanted to leave with him but his mum would need him more then anything. He didn't have a motive to come with me. After I mentioned running away it was like he was ready to give up anything for me. I can't be more important then his ill mother.

"What about your dad then." He looked up at me with his darkened green eyes. He took another step closer to me I couldn't back up anymore I was already back to back with the fridge. He worried me. Not in a fearful way but in an unsure way. I don't know what he's capable of. I barely know anything about him. He's been very cautious and caring towards me I just don't know him. "You seemed to have been able to leave your father without a second thought. To leave your little brother. To leave all your friends. I don't have any of that Sophie. My sister lives off in England I haven't spoken to her in years. My mother is in agony and there is nothing I can do. Absolutely nothing. I go visit her and read her old story's that she used to read to me. It breaks me down when I look in her eyes and know that she's empty and helpless inside. I'll storm out of the hospital in a complete mess and come back to the beach. To debate whether or not to throw myself into the waters to sink to the bottom forever." His voice was trembling but he kept it firm. He stayed looking at me waiting for my response.

He left me speechless. Old thoughts ran through my head the thoughts of being chased down the dark hallway and not being able to stop it. "One of my best friends ended up killing herself out of pain. She went throughout the day smiling and she seemed like she was so happy. A month passed by and her smiles grew more and more rare. I didn't think anything of it, I knew she was strong and independent. A couple more months passed and she stopped talking completely. Her blues eyes turned to grey and she fell behind everything. She hung herself. And I couldn't stop her. She was my best friend for 9 years. I knew everything about her I would tell her everything no matter how stupid I sounded. I could've stopped her. I could've saved her. But I was too oblivious to realize what was actually going on." I paused myself and tried to bite my tongue to hold back a couple sobs. "But I was able to stop you. Stop you from making the biggest mistake in your life. I know what it's like to be broken. I know what it's like to want to waste away. You have so much potential. If I knew you more I would ramble off a list of how wonderful you are but I don't know you. And you don't know me."

He stood there staring at me not able to allow my eyes to look away. He stepped even closer to me, his face only inches away from mine.

"I want to know you." He stated putting his hands in his sweatpants pockets. He continued to look down at the ground.

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