Fire 2

"We can forget all of the bad things and then start new."
"Is that enough for you."
"Do you love me?"
"As long as you do, it's always enough for me."


20. Losing

"Well I am eating for two." Shit. Shit. Shit. He dropped his handful of fries back onto his plate. The wall suddenly seemed very interesting. He stared at me. "Say something." I finally looked at him. He avoided my eyes. "I didn't want to tell you this way okay? I just found out." Still nothing. "Look I'll get another abortion if you want me to."

"No. No abortion." He still wouldn't meet my eyes. "How? I mean you're on the pill."

"I was. After you left I threw it out. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I stood from the table. "If you wanna leave.."

"No. I don't wanna leave."

"Don't think you have to stay."

"I just told you I want to. Isn't that enough?!"

"Why are you yelling at me?! You think this is my fault?!"

"Well it has to be someone's!"

"You were part of it too!" I was dry heaving, no tears would come out. "You're the one barging in here in the middle if the night! I wasn't aware of what we were doing! It's your fault!"

"No. I would have used a condom if you had told me you stopped using the pill!"

"Don't act like you don't know the effect you have on me! I would have given my life to have you touch me again, and you did! I was happy and so were you and I could breathe again!"

"God! You know you have the same effect on me! You're such a drama queen!"

"Oh no Ryan, I'm not a drama queen. I'm pregnant!" We stared at each other.

"Did you seriously just use that excuse?" I bit my lip to keep from laughing, and failed miserably. "Look, I don't care whose fault it was..."


"Anyway, that's my baby in there. Come here." I shuffled to where he was sitting. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful." He leaned his forehead against my belly.

"And you're bipolar."

"I'm scared as fuck. I'll admit that." 

"What are we gonna do with a baby?" I sighed combing my fingers through his curls.

"We're gonna raise him or her," he sat me on his lap, "And love and care for him or her and hope for the best." 

"Here's to hoping for the best. The one thing we've been doing since day one." I smiled as he kissed my lips.

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