To Begin Again Will Always Be Hard

*** This uses the physical body of Harry Styles but is not a full blown fan fiction ***


3. How Does This Even Happen?

Chapter 3 - How Does This Even Happen?


Harry got to the pizza place just before I could pay, literally. He ran through the door just as I got my wallet out. He almost made me fall on my ass as he pushed me away and then payed instead. He then asked for them to be delivered because, apparently,  15 minutes was too long to wait for a pizza. He then proceeded to throw me over his shoulder and walk with me like that the entire way home although I was kicking and yelling, with a little bit of laughing too. People stared but we still continued. Once we were back in the apartment he walked into my room and threw me on the bed.

"Harry!" I squealed, giggling as his hands moved over my stomach and waist, tickling me.

A huge smile was plastered on his face as he laughed along with me. His face face was near mine when his fingers finally ceased and he fell to the bed on the other side of me. We were mere centimeters away from each other and as my laughter died down, I felt my blush flare up. I rolled over to find him already facing me.

Soon he was above me, holding himself up with only his arms, his soft lips melding into mine. It was happening so fast I probably couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. I wasnt the only one enjoying it eithet, Harry was too. I could feel it on my lwg. He must've noticed too because he ended the kiss all too soon.

"I'm sorry Samantha," he said, using my full name.

That was it. That was all he said before he dashed out of my room and by the sound of it, into his own. I just layed in my bed after that. For two minutes at least. That was until there was a knock at the door. I didnt hear Harry open his door so I decided to get it myself.

The pizza man was cute, I must admit. Well, he was. Until he winked at me. I rolled my eyes and took the pizzas.

"You're welcome!" the guy said as I slammed thw front door.

I put the pizzas down and called out to Harry but got no reply.

"Harry?" I asked, knocking on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, no. Sorry. Um. . . just leave my pizza on the bench, I'll be out in about ten minutes. Thanks Sam."

That was all it took for my mind to start realing, asking myself all these stupid questions that I honestly could not answer. Did he hate me already? Not a clue. Why did he kiss me? I have no idea. Should I leave? Probably. Am I over thinking this? Why am I over thinking this? That's it, I thought. If he doesnt wanna see me then I might as well leave. I cant stay in a house with someone who is trying to avoid me.

I stomped into my room leacing my pizza untouched. I zipped my suitcases up, packing up the few things I had removed. I hung the beautiful jacket that Harry had bought me this afternoon on a coat hanger and took it and my suitcases out to the main room. I hung the jacket over the back of the white leather couch. I placed all the cash I had on me onto the kitchen counter, barely enough to cover the cost of the uneaten pizza and the coat. I could still hear Harry moving around in the bedroom and I sighed. I admired the patterns on the wall one last time before walking slowly out the front door, this time wearing shoes.

The elevator binged in front of me and I stepped inside. The soft music barely audible, even in the silence of only my presence. I walked to the curb and sat down in defeat. The light snow fell around me and I suddenly didn't find it as magical as I had on my childhood, or even yesterday. I honestly had no clue where the nearest hotel was and my phone had no reception so I couldnt even use gps.

Wrapping my arms around myself I began to shiver. When I went home earlier I hadn't grabbed anymore coats. The snow intensified a little and began to leave wet patches in my hair and on my clothes as it melted.

I had no where to go. The streets were basically empty at this time of night and I didn't trust most of the people I saw walk by. I couldn't go home, I didn't want to see what I knew would probably be there. I couldn't stay with Harry any longer, he made that fairly clear. I looked up and right across the street was a cute little diner. The dim light spilled out onto the side walk, the retro theme clearly visible. Standing up, I grabbed my suitcase and went inside. I sat by the window, staring out, only half knowing what I was actually looking for.

I wanted to know if Harry would even notice my absence and if he did, would come looking for me? I wanted to know but I knew not to get my hopes up. I fell asleep like that. my head rested against the diner window. The warmth from the little fireplace and the day's events had made me tired. I slept, having a vivid dream about tomatoes. They had come alive and were trying to eat me. I was terrified and I woke up sweating. That wasn't the only thing I woke up to though.

At first I wasnt sure if I had really woken up. His eyes seemed unreal, staring down at me, a brilliant shade of green. His curls flopped in a face a little as his head hung to the side like a confused puppy. His face was just so flawless I believed I was still dreaming.

"Sam?" his voice rung in my ears, his deep, soothing boice.

He didn't say a word after that. Ge just pulled me into a warm embrace. I didnt know how to react so I just sat there, but he didn't stop. He stroked my hair and whispered calming words in my ear. That was when I remembered the dream. I started shaking and Harry pulled me deeper into his arms and sitting me on his lap. I was cradled up to him, my head on his chest as I cried. I wasnt even sure why I was so upset.

"Sam?" Harry tried again. I was still unable to speak as the silent sobs continuing. He picked up a napkin and dapped at my cheeks, catching the tears as they fell quite rapidly. "Samantha I'm sorry. I think I gave you the wrong idea."

I jumped off his lap so quickly I surprised myself. I could see the shock on his face and took advantage of it. Grabbing my suitcases I made a run for it,  out of the cafe and down the street. It took a few secends but then he was following after me. I couldn't out run him. Not with all of my luggage and in heels anyway. He caught up to me and put his hands on my shoulders to keep me in place.

"Just let me go," I said through sobs as I fell to the ground. I put my head in my hands and cried. "Why did you follow me? Why can't you just leave me alone? That's what you wanted anyway."

"Sam. You didn't let me finish. As I was sayin-"

"NO! I don't want to hear it. You've said and done enough. I left the coat and I reimbursed you for it. If you want to buy new sheets because I layed on them then you'll just have to wait until I can get some more cash out," I rambled on.

"I dont want your money Samantha. Now let me talk! I think I gave you the wrong impression before. I didn't want you to leave, quite the opposite actually. I was just rather embarrassed by my um. . . well I think you know," Harry mumbled, looking down and blushing. "Come back to the loft?"

"I can't."

"Wht not?"

"I just. . ." I started crying again, I don't know why.

Harry picked me up easily and put my arms around his neck and one arm under my legs, kind of bridal style. With the other hand he picked up my suitcases and then put it under my back to support me. He carried me all the way back into the apartment and layed me on the bed. He took off my boots and pulled the covers over me.

"Goodnight Samantha," he saod, kissing my forehead. "I shall be setting the alarm too, so no trying to sneak out."

He turned the bedside light off and shut the curtains before walking out and shutting the door quietly. I fell asleep quickly, exhausted from all the crying and emotions. This time though, it was a dreamless sleep.

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