Dear Dad

Harry Styles died in a car crash at the age of 30, leaving his wife and daughter, Darcy.
What follows is her diary.


4. 15 Years Old.

July 26th.

Dear Dad,

God I miss you so much. Mom and Niall are becoming really close friends and he stays over most nights. Mom promised me that they are nothing but friends. Anyway, Niall has got a new girlfriend. Well, she's technically not 'new', they've been friends since he was 15. She just contacted him through email and then they started dating. Her name is Daria and she's so pretty. Niall really likes her, I can tell. It's taken until he's 37 to get a girlfriend. God, he's such a loser.

Mom seems better. I asked her about you today when I was helping her cook dinner. I asked "What's you're favourite memory of Dad" and this is what she basically said (I'm summing it up, Dad, because she took four hours and two glasses of wine to tell me about it).

"One time, just after you were born, Harry took you into his studio and sat you in his lap. He played his audition tape twice, and then told you he would sing it to you. He said "I sucked back then, but now I'm better. Would you like me to sing it to you?" and then he did. He sung it over and over and he started crying. I was outside the studio but I could see and hear him. He was just so full of love. He loved you so much, Darcy. So much."

And I love you, Dad. So, so much. 

Louis is better. I saw him last weekend. He's living with Zayn at the moment because he has no where else to go. Eleanor broke up with him while he was in rehab. It messed him up, but he said it was you that pulled him through. Did you go see him, Dad? I know that's kind of impossible but you come to see me in my dreams a lot, so I guess you could see Louis. Liam brought me to see him, and it was nice. Niall wasn't there, though. Louis didn't want to see him because he said Niall reminded him too much of you, and how you two would muck around on tour. We looked through some of Zayn's old tour stuff. It included some money, like coins, lanyards, old and withered four leaf clovers and some photos. 

I'm going to collect all of the photo's that the boy's have got from you're time touring together, and I'm going to put it into a photo album and then I'm going to give it to them to keep. I think they would like it. 

I still see Miss Lawson, but only when I have dreams of you. She thinks my brain is trying to remember you. But I do. I always remember you. Not a day goes by that I don't. I remember the week before you died, and I remember how you would make Mom coffee before she even got up. I remember so much all the time and I think I'm beginning to forget you. I don't mean to say it badly, it's just I haven't seen you, in person, in so long. I'm forgetting how you used to style your hair and how you would say certain words. I have videos, sure, but I'm so used to having you here, it's just not the same. 

I have aced all my dancing concerts and tests at school and I'm thinking of applying for one of the dance schools in London. That mean's I'm going to have to move closer to Uncle Liam and live with him for a while, but that's okay. I can apply when I'm 16, and that's not too far away!

I love you, so very much. I wish you were here to watch me.

Love Always,

Darcy Styles.

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