Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake

A scrapbook of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone from Draco Malfoy's point if view. Made for laughs, enjoy!


9. The Draco Story...

Hey there! I am the beautiful, fantastical, fabtacular, gorgeous Draco Malfoy. I'll bet you want to know all about the famous Draco Matilda Malfoy that you've been hearing about, don't you? Well I've got to go to class right now, but I'll write down my life story here as soon as I can. I'll write as soon as Transfiguration is over. Stay tuned!


Wow, Draco. Who would want to hear about the pathetic life of the lame Draco Matilda Malfoy? :)

~ Yours truly, Ronald Weasley


Hey, Weasel, stay out of my story. You are NOT welcome here! This is MY Story! 

Anyways... I'll start my story right now. Who cares about what McGonagall has to say.

So I am the amazing Draco Matilda Malfoy. My mother, Narcissa Malfoy, and my father, Lucius Malfoy, are the bestest parents in the whole wide world! I call my father popsicle sometimes, because popsicles are as cool as my father.


Draco, you are not supposed to be writing a story in Transfiguration class! You'll get in trouble! Open your textbook and practice Transfiguring your banana into a grasshopper! If McGonagall finds out... 

~ Hermione Granger


Take your hands off my book you filthy mudblood! How dare you touch my things? I can do what ever I want. Who are you to tell me what to do?


Don't call Hermione a mudblood! I'll make you eat slugs if you call her that again! Keep my word, Draco!

~ Ron


Why won't you people just shut up and let me write? My father will hear about this!


You realize we don't care what your father has to say about us, Draco? We all know you and your popsicle are nothing but idiots.

~ Harry Potter


Oh so you're also writing in my book now, Harry? I should have known you were no better. How dare you call us idiots! How silly of me to offer you my friendship, just to have you refuse my handshake! You are regretting your mistake, Harry. I know you are!


All I'm regretting right now is wasting my time having a conversation with you...

~ Harry


Mr. Potter, you should know better than to not pay attention in class! I've already gotten complaints from Professor Snape about you writing aimlessly in your first Potions class. Now I know what he was talking about. 10 points from Gryffindor!

~Professor McGonagall


Haha. Pottyhead got in trouble! :P


Mr. Malfoy! I thought you had some sense in you. 10 points from Slytherin!


I told you! You should have listened to me!

~ Hermione


Give my book back, you filthy little witch! Stupid McGonagall. My father will hear about this.


10 more points from Slytherin, Malfoy!


Oh snazzle. I guess you won't be hearing my story after all. Maybe some other time, my dear fans. Maybe some other time...


Mr. Malfoy! That is enough! I am taking your book. You will only retrieve it from me after you serve 2 hours of detention tonight! Is this understood? Now turn your banana into a grasshopper!

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