Even if you think the world is absolutely screwed up, everything is more psychotic when you desire someone you can't have. That's what happened to me. (Harry Styles/grunge fanfiction)


5. Kissing





"How about this one?" Shelley asks in a high pitched tone. 

"Perfect! The color really suits you." Marissa says.

I really wish that sound didn't travel so well in this house because I am downstairs in the kitchen and they're in the guest room a whole floor up. Shelley is more of a daughter to Marissa than I ever was. Hell, Shelley looks more like her than I do. 

 I play with a stray piece of hair and loom it through my fingers. Kind of frizzy and kind of wavy. It's always been a bit different from all the other girls hair that's perfectly straight and shiny. A bit dull too but I would like to think the color is quite lively. It's sort of cut like an up side down triangle. Short in the front and gradually getting longer to the middle of my back. I usually keep it short but lately I just haven't had the energy to get it cut or do it myself. I used to think that long hair wasn't worth the struggle but I'm starting to think that I should grow it out.

Besides Shelley and Marissa upstairs and myself mindlessly toying with my hair, Brian is at business meeting and Harry is talking to one of his mates quite loudly on the back patio. It's around 7:00 and soon I'll be the only one home. I'm not feeling quite up to going anywhere so I have decided to just stay at the house and drink until I pass out. Not because I enjoy drinking but it makes everything a little less painful because when I'm alone I really think too much.

I can here whispering from upstairs and then Marissa and Shelley's footsteps, coming down the stairs. At the same time I also hear Harry getting off his mobile and the glass sliding door open. I like to think that what I hear is much more valuable than what I am able to see.

They all enter the kitchen; Harry being the only one to acknowledge my presence. And the glass of liquor in front of me. He looks disappointed but I find this unusual because I never set my expectations higher than this regular habit.

"Rouge, I think that instead of being alone here and drinking who knows what, you should accompany Harry to this party of his!" Marissa squeals. I gag at the word "accompany".

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I say with disgust.

She grits her teeth. "I think that it would be a good bonding experience for you two as step-sibling's."

"I'd rather jump off of a cliff." I say. Given that I have attempted that, I am not exaggerating.

"And if you went there could be less tension in the house with my gorgeous fiancé here with the extra two weeks that will be staying here now." Shelley says.

I literally choke on my drink and Harry actual chokes too. I guess Mr. Fantastic didn't here the news until now either.

"You're all fucking psychotic. I'm staying here. By myself. " I say.

"Rouge, if you don't go I'll send a complaint to Dr.-"

"Fine! I'll fucking go. Don't you dare fucking call." I say. Harry looks creepily satisfied at my compliance.

I run upstairs to grab my mobile and by the time I get back to the kitchen, Marissa and Shelley have already gone.

"Quit smiling you bastard or your face'll get stuck like that." I snap at Harry.

"Are you done fucking complaining so we can leave? I have actual friends to meet." He says jingling his car keys in his hand.

"You won't need those." I say.

"Excuse me?" He asks with confusion.

"If I have to go to this stupid party then we are taking my car." I say.

"No way. There is-"

"Shut up." I say as I walk out if the door and make my way down the road.

He follows but yells and complains the entire way to the car shop. I am extremely satisfied when the greasy, old mechanic tells me that my car is fixed.

I unlock the doors of Harvey and am greeted by the pleasantly familiar click. I get in the drivers seat and listen to the low roar of the old engine.

Meanwhile, Harry is bent over and looking through the passenger side window with an almost offending look spread across his face.

"Are you going to get in or not?" I ask.

"There is no way that this is your car." He says with disbelief.

"Well that's offensive. Quit hurting Harvey's feelings and get in." I say.


"Yes, my car is named Harvey. Do you have a problem with that?" I say.

"No. Not at all, ma'am." He says, smiling. He finally gets in and inspects the interior even more.

"Asshole." I say.

I can't help the smile that creeps on to my face.




The party is definitely not a subtle one. Techno and alt music is blaring from the house and people are already passed out in the lawn. It's kind of my scene but it's sort of lame.

"You drive terrifyingly fast, you know." Harry says as I park on the side of the road, across from the large party house.

If you've never been to a party like this, let me explain. The air is made of more smoke than oxygen. You can pretty much find some form of alcohol everywhere you look, even in the washrooms. People fight, fuck each other, do drugs, play drinking games and obviously, drink. Most people you can find will be covered in tattoos and look like bad arses, even though most of them aren't. It's usually a potluck of sluts, weirdos, druggies and a few actual cool, attractive people. Those of which usually end up falling into all of those categories anyways.

Walking across the street earns Harry many stares, given his "royalty", but more so towards me. I'm guessing Harry is either never seen with girls, especially ones that look like me, or he is always seen with girls and everyone is interested in who it is this week. I know a lot of people like that.

When we actually enter the house, pretty much everyone there knows Harry. But yet they all just stare at me.

I follow Harry into the crowded kitchen where plenty of drinks are being served. I mix myself a big cup of something really strong because it seems like the only reasonable way that I'm going to survive to night. I'm really getting sick of Marissa threatening me with calling the doctor. But I need to keep that from happening at all costs. For several reasons, too.

"Seriously?" Harry yells over the music, gesturing towards my cup. 

I nod and start walking away but Harry grabs my arm.

"What?" I yell.

"Just stick with me, damn it. The people here aren't the most faithful." he says

"You're scared of me getting hurt?" I laugh. "If you look a little closer, you'll see that that's a common fucking thing in my life."

"Shut up! I'm not afraid of you getting hurt, I just don't want to get fucking blamed when you end up dead in a ditch somewhere." He says as he walks away.

He's so full of himself.




*Harry's POV*



"Mate, you up for a game?" Zayn says from across the living room.

He's obviously referring to the modified version of spin the bottle that we created by the circle of people and an empty beer bottle in the middle. I'm not really in the mood but my need to keep up my reputation says otherwise.

I sit down next to some chick with blue hair and my bandmate Louis. I know I shouldn't be getting involved in any of this given that I'm engaged but I really couldn't care less.

"Anyone else playing?" Niall yells through the house. No one else comes for a few moments.

"I'll play." someone says.

I see Rouge walking over and the sense of over protection that runs through my body is almost terrifying. 

"You will not." I demand and I receive many confused looks. There is no way that she is playing one of our "famous" games. The games here are a lot worse than most that you'll see at parties. A lot

"Fuck you, I'm not the one you're engaged to." she says. Well that hurt. She sits down in the circle.

I take a long smoke on the spliff that's being passed around and breathe out through my nose. I pass it on and eventually it makes it's way to Rouge. I start to say something but I quickly stop myself. I know I sound like an asshole, which I am, but watching her smoke is really turning me on.



We go through a bunch of rounds and a lot of the people in the circle are really wasted. I made sure I didn't get too trashed. Rouge on the other hand is drinking a lot but her tolerance for alcohol is really impressive. 



*Rouge's POV*


"Your turn Harry." one of the boys says. I'm pretty sure his name is Louis and he's covered in tattoos and has a lip ring in the middle of his bottom lip. He's been sitting next to Harry the whole time and has a small brunette girl in his arms. I'm pretty sure her name starts with an A. 

"Fine, whatever." he groans.

"I dare you to take three items of clothing off." says a girl with green streaks in her hair.

"Lame." he says quietly.

He slowly takes off his leather jacket, tight black t-shirt and his black beanie. He looks at me as he sits back down. Asshole.

I flip him off. He opens his mouth but hesitates. 

"Rouge's turn." he says, glaring at me. This was the first introduction of my name so far.

"So that's the hot chick's name." some guy whispers. Harrys face turns red and it looks like he would kill him if he had the chance. 


Harry's POV


The blue haired chick says, "Make out with the most attractive person near you."

I swear I'll tear that hair out of her head.

Rouge looks to her right and then to her left where my bandmate, Liam, is sitting. She basically checks him out and grins. Fuck you, Liam for being good looking. 

She grabs his face and kisses him. Not like a sweet little peck but really kissing. Most of the guys are smiling and making perverted comments. 

Liam's hands start to slide down her torso and inch closer and closer to her bum. Absolutely fucking not.

I jump up and rip them from each other and that also gets me a lot of angry looks from the guys who were getting turned on by that. 

"Fuck you." Rouge says as she adjusts her self and fixes her dark lipstick that got slightly smeared. 

"You've got issues, mate." Liam says. Without thinking at all, I punch him in the face. Hard. It causes a slice on his cheekbone.

 "Okay you complicated motherfuckers, let's get back to the game." Niall says. Always the peacemaker.

"Not cool mate." Liam says while wiping the blood from his face.

"Andie, I dare you to kiss someone who you've slept with." Niall says.

Everyone expects her to kiss Louis, given that he's her boyfriend but instead she kisses me.

For a moment I'm confused on what's going on but as soon as I realize that it's Andie I'm kissing I push her off back into Louis.

"What the fuck Andie?" I yell. She's really stoned.

"What you'd like to just forget that we slept together?" She slurs.

Louis has the most destroyed look on his face having to relive the incident that happened years ago. I know he blames me.

Surprisingly, Rouge gets up and runs out of the house. I hate the fact that every guy in the room stares at her and smirks. If I left her alone plenty of them would take the advantage. It sickens me.

I run out and follow her to the pavement. She fumbles with her keys but can't seem to find the right one because her fingers are probably numb from all of the drinking and smoking.

"Hey stop it!" I yell as I try to grab the keys from her but she rips away from me.

"You know Harry I used to think that maybe you were a genuine person somewhere in there but I was wrong! You're such a hypocrite. You can kiss people and I can't?" She screams.

"It's different! It's not like I fucking wanted my best mates girlfriend to kiss me!" I yelled.

"Yeah but you enjoyed it Harry! You fucking enjoyed it. You're engaged you asshole!" She screams. A few drunkards stare at us.

"That doesn't give you the fucking right to go and kiss one of my mates that I know for a fact would fuck you if I wasn't there!" I yell.

"Maybe I wanted that Harry! I didn't but what if I did. It be nice for someone to notice me every once in a fucking while. But you wouldn't know anything about that because everyone is so fucking in love with Harry fucking Styles and his wonderful fiancé. And let me remind you that it's not me! You constantly have people giving a shit about what you do and what you say but news flash, nobody gives a fuck about me because I'm nothing. So why the fuck should you care if I go kiss someone!?" She yells

"Because it's not fucking right, Rouge! You throwing your self at guys just to feel something. I know you hate me and I fucking hate you right back but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. The things I've seen all of them do to girls like you are fucking insane. I hate you but I wouldn't wish those things to happen to anyone! And people do give a fuck about you. Your entire fucking family cares about you!" I yell.

"No Harry, they don't! If they gave a fuck about me, they would let me leave. They wouldn't tell me I'm crazy and that everything is my fault. Harry if you could see into my goddamn head you would be fucking terrified at the things that I think. Fuck, if you looked into their minds you'd know all of the shot they've done to me! You don't care about me! None of them do. The only person who's actually cared about me since I was 16 is my fucking dad and I'm not even allowed to see him because of them!" She screams.

"What are your talking about? Your family isn't fucking responsible for your fucking dad getting thrown into jail!" I yell.

"What? My dad's not in jail you asshole! He lives less than two fucking hours away but I can thank fucking Marissa that I can't see him! Shelley probably just told you that to make themselves look fucking perfect!" she screams.

"I honestly don't even know if I can believe when you say this shit! You're all over the fucking place!" I yell.

"I'm all over the place? Did that girl lie when she said that you fucked her?" she yells.

"Yes, Rouge, I slept with her. Three fucking years ago! I've slept with a lot of fucking people since then! Why do you even give a shit?! It's not like you're fucking jealous!" I yell.

"But what if I am Harry! I have to walk around every damn day looking at all of these people in relationships and shit and I know that I will never, ever get to be like that! My chances with that were blown before I was even in high school because of fucking Marissa! If she had just left my brother and I the fuck alone with my dad we both would've turned out fine!" she yells.

"You say that Marissa has done all of this shit to you but yet all I have seen and heard so far doesn't quite match up! Why the fuck do you hate her so much?" I yell. Marissa has only ever been nice.

"The list is fucking endless, Harry! Marissa met my dad at a party a lot like this damn one! My dad was fifteen, Harry! Fifteen. She fucking pressured him into it and she was 24. That's pretty fucking illegal, let alone screwed up! Then my brother happens and Marissa makes him drop out of fucking secondary school to raise a fucking baby while she goes out and makes a goddamn socialite out of herself! My dad had to raise a kid at 15 fucking years old! Marissa never even gave a fuck about my brother!" She yelled.

"That's bullshit! That isn't what Shelley told me!" I yell.

"Stop believing everything that bitch says! I can guarantee you that everything that she has told you about me and my family is entirely lies! If you knew, Harry. If you knew everything you wouldn't want to be anywhere near me or any of them."

"I don't no what's true it what isn't, Rouge!" I yell. A bunch of people are starting to find their way to our conversation. 

"You know what? I don't even give a fuck! I'm leaving." she says and walks to her car. She again tries to fumble for her car key but she's to trashed to find it.

"Stop it! You aren't fucking driving when you're this wasted." I say. This time I snatch the keys out of her hands and make her go around to the passenger side. 

I start the engine and I must say, she has a badarse car. I drive away from the crowded scene.

Rouge scrambles through her glove compartment and takes out a spliff and a lighter. She lays it between her plump lips and lights the end of it.

"Are you fucking serious?" I snap. She's already out of it.

"Shut the fuck up." she says while putting her feet up on the dashboard and filling the car with smoke.

The drive seems a lot longer the way back, especially with Rouge making fucking pointless comments from the influence of all of the shit in her body. I'm quite impressed that she hasn't vomited or passed out yet.


It must be past midnight by the time we get to the house and everyone is already asleep. Rouge surely isn't trying to be quiet.

She kicks her high heels off, making her shorter than me again. Unsurprisingly, she also tears off her jacket and shirt, leaving her in shorts, ripped tights, and a black lace bra. I really try not to look at her but with a body like hers, it's literally impossible not to.

"Rouge," I whisper. "don't tell anyone I got you trashed."

"Well you didn't. I did. And Harry you've got to stop acting like we're so different. We're actually pretty fucking similar. Obviously opposites attract is a really true thing." she laughs. Her voice is now entirely slurred.

"You don't think I'm fucking attracted to you?! You're probably the sexiest girl I've ever seen and everyone that does see you, wants to take your fucking clothes off!" I yell.

"Harry! I might not be at all civilized but you shouldn't go around kissing other peoples girlfriends and telling people that you live with for the time being that you want to see them fucking naked when you are clearly engaged!" she shouts. I'm surprised that the three of them are still sleeping.

"How fucking engaged do I look?" I say.

I grab her by the waist and pull her close to me. I smash my lips into to hers and for a few moments she actually kisses me back. Every curve of her body turns me on and it's really fucking messed up. It may have been an unwanted kiss on her part but i actually think that she's the best kiss I've ever had.

When realization hits, she shoves me off of her and smacks me. Really, really hard. I recover from my whiplash and see her stumbling and running to the stairs. 

Right before she reaches them she says, "I'll never be that wasted, Harry." 

She sprints up the stares and leaves me there with a throbbing cheek.



What the fuck did I do?










I hope you liked this chapter and there will soon be more to come! Any feed back is appreciated and the more attention the story gets, the faster I will update!!! xx :) 



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