Frostbite (16+)

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  • Published: 22 Nov 2013
  • Updated: 26 May 2014
  • Status: Complete
Harry is struggling with the sex addiction that controls his life, leaving him depressed and frustrated. On top of everything he's feeling a growing affection and sexual attraction toward his best friend, Louis. But it's surely because of his addiction, right?


(Also posted to 1DFF)


10. Motel

Louis’ back was arched against the mattress, his fingers disappeared as he grasped the white sheets of the bed. His eyes were barely open and his body was glistening from the sweat as he was fucked for the third time that night. Thin lips were parted and what had started out as quiet whimpers of pleasure earlier, was now full grown moans.

Harry had to escape. He had woken up without knowing if he was living his dream or his biggest nightmare, but he ran out. Louis was left naked in his bed. No notes, no goodbyes.

Harry sat behind the wheel of his car; he was parked on the side of the road. He didn’t know where he was going, he only knew two things; he couldn’t stay away forever and he couldn’t get his mind off what has happened. The mental image of the night’s happening was burned into his memory.

“Harder, Ha-ah…” Louis was begging for it while he was on all four on the bed. Harry was buried in his ass and didn’t hesitate to follow Louis’ wish.

Harry felt lost. He didn’t know where to run, he didn’t know where to hide. He had just lived through what had only been playing in his head for the last few weeks. He had touched, felt and almost breathed Louis. Even now, even when he was several miles away from home, he hardly dared to take in too much air, because the smell of Louis was everywhere. It was in his clothes, on his skin, in his hair. Louis was everywhere.

Louis hit a higher note while having an orgasm than he did on stage, it seemed. His body was trembling from the ecstatic feeling rushing through his body, quickly followed by Harry’s own orgasm.

Harry withdrew from Louis’ opening, and collapsed over him after what had been the third, or maybe forth orgasm. He wasn’t sure, his head was spinning around and around, his thoughts were on a carousel.

“Harry?” Louis voice was hoarse, yet so soft and caring. He didn’t seem scared or confused, the hesitation he had earlier that night was long gone. Their faces was close, and they were both breathing heavily. Harry didn’t want to reply him, he didn’t want to talk. He was afraid. Harry was scared shitless, he felt as if he was losing his mind.

“Harry,” Louis repeated, but this time it wasn’t in a questioning tone. He didn’t demand a response before he continued speaking.
“For how long?”

Harry started up the car, turned on the radio and tried to block out every thought of Louis with the volume on max. The Cure’s “Friday I’m in love” blasted through the stereo. This was simply not the best day to start the New Year.

The car was back on the road, and Harry was headed toward a small local motel outside the city. While driving he texted the address and a time to a number saved under “the Gilbert girl”.

“Answer me, Harry,” Louis murmured. Harry avoided eye contact the best he could, even when Louis’ small hand came to his face, fingers finding their way in his hair, and his thumb stroking the cheekbone tenderly.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Harry lied in hope that Louis wouldn’t actually spell it out for him. This was after all not their usual friendly activity.

“Yes you do,” Louis said before his tongue ran over his lower lip quickly. Harry’s eyes were placed on the lips that had turned more and more red and puffy during the night.
“How long have you wanted to do what we just did?”

Harry cursed quietly, felt his cheeks blush from the scenes that was playing over again in his head, even though he was all alone. The ghost of the night wouldn’t leave him alone, and he didn’t want the reminders.

“Stop it Lou,” Harry said in a dismissive tone and pulled away from the body he had longed for the past few weeks, maybe months. Harry rolled around to his back and kept quiet. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to know. From deep within him, he felt a strong discomfort. He felt sick. Just as he always did after he was done fucking some slut.

The car was parked outside the motel and Harry had gotten a room key, but he was still sitting by the entrance, which barely qualified as a lobby. He’d been sitting there for the last 15 minutes, casually checking the watch around his wrist every now and then.

Truth be told, this was not a good time to be around people. Harry quite frankly felt a bit troubled about what had happened during the night. One thing was having fantasies, but it was a whole other story to actually go through with them.

Harry needed someone to prove to him that he wasn’t crazy, he wasn’t ruined and most importantly, he wasn’t gay. Then, right on time, Harry could see a blonde woman walk through the door. He was quickly up on his feet and smiled as she walked up to him.
“Louise,” he said calmly in a greeting manner, and she replied with a low “Mr. Gilbert” in response.

Harry was happy that words were not needed with Louise, or any other hooker for that matter. They knew what was going down. He just showed her around the corner and through a corridor, until they were by the door to the room he had paid for.

“Why so serious today, baby?” Louise’s hand moved slowly along his back, and she smiled a warm smile, was calmer than she used to, less energetic.
“I’m always serious,” Harry replied briefly as he unlocked the door and opened it to her, being a gentleman and letting the lady go first.

“Come on, give me that famous grin of yours!” Harry had liked Louise from the first day they met, but right now he didn’t even know why. Maybe this was a sign he had met her one too many times and been maybe just a little too nice and welcoming her into his life too much. Which only meant one thing right now: he had to push her away and set limits.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but can you please shut up and do what I pay you to do.” His voice was low, but his message was clear. He showed no emotions, even though true fear was rushing through him. He was scared that he had ruined his friendship with Louis, he was scared of looking at his best friend the same way he looked at girls. He was also scared he had given the wrong signals to Louise. He didn’t want that.

It used to be so unlike Harry to act like he did towards Louise right now. He used to be so polite and opposed objectifying women. But Harry was lost in his own contempt of himself. He never felt clean anymore, he never felt safe, and he never felt comfortable. He had become a monster driven by sex. It was taking over his life and it was taking over him. Therefore, Harry acted out his hate and contempt for himself on other people that was like him.

“Get to it then,” Harry said and put one hand on Louise’s shoulder to push her to her knees in front of him. Luckily, Louise was a clever girl who knew to take a hint, so she went down on her knees and started unbuckling Harry’s belt, ready for warm up.  

It was a big relief when Harry finally could close his eyes and escape from everything in exchange for a moment of pleasure. He could for a moment hide from the emotions he didn’t know how to deal with, or even recognize at all. His sexual frustration was now accompanied by frustration caused by sex, sex with his closest friend. Yet he figured sex maybe was the cure as well. Maybe Louise could show Louis the way out of his head.

Even when Louise started blowing him, Harry didn’t feel present. He was everywhere but here, still feeling drunk, even though he had stopped drinking by midnight. He felt nauseated too, even though he didn’t have a hangover. He didn’t know if it was caused by Louise or Louis, love or hate.

“Harry?” Louise spoke, but Harry barely registered it.

“Harry?” Louis stretched out his arm and stroked Harry’s back carefully, but he didn’t get any response, so he crawled closer to him. Soon thereafter Harry felt a hand sneak over his waist and rest at his stomach, and suddenly he was spooning with Louis.

“Harry?” Louis repeated in a soft whisper against Harry’s neck.

Harry jumped when Louise almost smacked him to get in touch with him even though they were in the same room.
“Harry, this isn’t working,” Louise said in a sad and almost comforting voice, which made him lower his eyes and look down on her. He wasn’t getting hard. Even after being inside her mouth for several minutes, nothing happened.

Harry felt humiliated, but even more than that he felt confused. For ages he had struggled with constantly needing the sexual release, but now he couldn’t even get it up.
“We’re done here,” Harry said rushed as he pulled up his pants and gave Louise cash from his back pocket.

“Hm?” Harry answered a little unwillingly, but he did answer in the end. Truth be told, he was curious about what Louis had to say after being fucked once on the living room floor and twice in the bed.
“You don’t have to feel bad for making me feel good.”

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