2. I deserve this

Is it bad that when the blood started the tears stopped?

"I deserve this"

"Now you understand their pain"

These words scream in my head as the blade carves into my skin

First just a line

The sight of my own blood fascinates me

A second slice

The spot burns and stings as I continue

"I deserve this"

I close my eyes

I scrunch them as the stinging begins again

And again

And again

I have spaces so I can see each mark

Each potential scar

Tears roll down my cheeks

It stings more once the blade reaches my wrists

A word now

Being carved into me

Frustration takes over when the blood doesn't show

I frighten myself

Why can't I stop?

Who am I becoming?

Why am I doing this?

Then I remember .....

"I deserve this".

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