"I wish I could get away from here. I wish people would treat me like I'm worth something." I said aloud to myself. I looked over at my Louis Tomlinson poster hanging on the wall. "I know you would." I said to it. "I see how you treat Eleanor. You treat her like a princess. I wish I was lucky enough to be treated like that. Maybe even by you." A single tear fell down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I sat down in my windowsill and stared at the night sky. A glimmer of light caught my eye. I looked over and saw it. A star. It shined brighter than any star I've ever seen. "I wish I could be someone else. Someone who knew Louis." I whispered. I took a deep breath. "I wish I could be Eleanor Calder."


2. High School Jerks

Well, yesterday was horrible. That girl, who I found out was named Beatrice, is in every single one of my classes. And guess who's lucky enough to be sitting in front of her in all of them? That's right; lucky old me. And also I had about 10 pounds of homework to do last night. No joke! Ugh. I hate high school.

I didn't even have time to walk the railroad yesterday, which really upset me. I walk the railroad pretty much every day. It's the one place where I can think and wish anything. And nobody can stop me. The railroad is my main way to remember Julia. We used to walk the railroad all the time before the...accident. But that's a story for another time.

Today when I walked into school, I went straight to my locker, trying to avoid everyone as much as possible. Like I said earlier, I had tons of homework last night so I stayed up probably until midnight, maybe even later. Whenever I don't get a full nights sleep, I'm super crabby the next day. And that can sometimes get me into trouble.

I arrived at my locker and put my stuff away. After I was done I went to my first class. The day seemed to drag on forever. And spitballs being spit at my neck every five seconds didn't really help boost my enthusiasm.

When the last bell rang, I walked out of the classroom and headed to my locker. The sight I saw made me stop cold. Megan was hugging Kaden. My best friend was hugging the guy that I've had a crush on for the past 3 years. Talk about suspicious...

I walked to my locker and opened it. They stopped hugging. "I got to go." Kaden told her. "Okay, bye!" Megan said in a very happy tone. Then Kaden kissed her cheek and walked away. She stood there for a while, watching him walk away. I cleared my throat. She turned around.

"Oh, hi Sydney." she said, smiling very big. "So, what's up with you and Kaden?" I asked her, shoving my books into my backpack. "Isn't it obvious? We're going out!" she exclaimed. "W-what?" I stuttered. "Yeah, isn't it great?" she sighed. "No. It isn't." I snapped.

She cocked her head. "Why?" "Because! You know I like him!" "You like him?" she asked, sounding rather surprised. "Umm, yeah! You knew that! You knew that I've liked him since 6th grade!" I pointed out. "Umm, no I didn't. Listen, I think you're getting me confused with Julia. Because I'm not Julia." she told me. I glared at her. "You're right. You're not Julia. And you certainly aren't the friend she was." "Sydney, she's dead! Stop trying to bring her back and move on! She's the past. You need to forget her." she snapped.

I clenched my fists tightly. The tears filled my eyes as I decided whether or not to punch her right then and there. I just shoved her, causing her to fall to the ground. "Ouch! My wrist!" she cried. People stopped what they were doing and stared. I shook my head and ran out the school doors.

I wasn't looking where I was going and ran straight into someone. "Hey, are you alright?" a familiar voice asked. I looked up. Kaden was looking at me with sympathy in his eyes. "I'm fine." I said, pushing past him.

I looked around frantically for my ride, who was my brother. I saw him. He was talking to some of his friends. I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. "Whoa there." he said, trying not to fall from the force that ran into him. "Syd, are you okay?" he asked. I shook my head. "Can we go home?" I asked through tears. He nodded. He said goodbye to his friends and we got into his car.

"What's wrong, sis?" he asked, pulling out of the parking lot. I wiped the tears off my face. I told him what happened. Cory is the only member of my family that really understands me. He doesn't treat me like I'm an annoying sister, he treats me like I'm a human being with feelings. We have a really close relationship because of that.

"Aww, I'm sorry." he said, rubbing his hand on my leg. We came to the railroad, which you cross before taking a right turn and arriving at my house. "You want let out here?" he asked. I nodded and opened the door. "Want me to take your backpack home?" he asked. I shook my head. "No. I'll keep it." I told him, grabbing my backpack from the backseat. "Thanks, Cory." I said before closing the door. He waved at me and drove off.

As soon as he was out of sight I turned to the railroad. I breathed in deep, smelling the fresh, Montana air. It's so nice. I started to walk. I stepped on every other plank, making sure the length of my foot fit perfectly across it.

I remember when Julia and I would walk the railroad. We would walk for hours, arguing over who was the hottest member of One Direction. I would always say Louis and she would always say Niall. She would always say how she loved how his eyes sparkled, and how his laugh was so amazing, and how his voice was just so soothing and it helped her get through some really tough times.

I remember those tough times. Every single one of them. Because I was always there, right by her side. And she did the same for me. We supported each other through everything. I'm not lying when I say her and One Direction are the only reasons I'm still here. And I know she would say the same. Well, if she was still around. I shook the memories of her death out of my head. I hated to think about it. And if you saw your best friend die right before your eyes, you would feel the same way.

I had been walking for about 30 minutes before I got to the forest. I left the tracks and walked into the jumble of trees and vines. I walked down a small path, until I arrived at my safe haven.  It was the place me and Julia had met when we were in 1st grade. We hung out here every day up until the day she passed.

It was a twisty tree, branches going up so high, they seemed to touch the sky. The tree was right next to a big and beautiful lake. The cool water glistened in the sunlight. I climbed up a few branches until I got to my favorite one. It was very stable, and quite comfortable, too.

I reached inside my backpack and pulled out my sketchbook and a pencil. I loved to draw. It made me feel calm. Whenever I draw, I can release emotions that I could never release in real life. If you look at my drawings, they tell a story. A story of happiness, sadness, excitement, and any other emotion you can think of.

I reached inside my backpack again and pulled out my iPod. I put it on shuffle and let it play. 'Gotta Be You' by One Direction started to play. I quietly sang along as I started to draw. I ended up drawing a large field, with two Stallions galloping through it. It represented me and Julia, two girls that had broke free from the chains that had been holding them down for so long. We were free, and could do anything that our hearts desired.

"That's really good." said a voice from behind me. I jumped, falling out of the tree. Luckily I was only about 3 feet up so I didn't get too hurt. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." the person said, sticking out their hand. I grabbed it and pulled myself to my feet. I wiped the dust off of my jeans. I looked up and immediately recognized the person.

"Kaden? W-what are you doing here?" I asked curiously. "I come down here all the time." he told me. I cocked my head. "Really? Me, too." I told him. He chuckled. "That's weird. I wonder why we haven't run into each other until now." "Yeah. I wonder why." I agreed.

He reached down and picked up my sketchbook and pencil. He handed them to me. "Thanks." I said, taking them. "You're a really good artist." he told me. I blushed and looked down at my shoes. "Thanks." I said quietly.

There was a moment of silence. "How come you were crying earlier?" he asked me. "Oh, it's nothing." I muttered. "Come on. What happened?" he asked. I sighed. "Well, it's just, you and Megan, it kinda, I don't know." I stumbled. He chuckled. "I get it. And I actually broke up with her." he told me.

My head shot up at him. "What? Why?" I asked surprised. "I saw how upset us being together made you, and I didn't want you to be sad." he explained. I gave him a weird look. "Why would you care about how I feel?" I asked uneasily. He turned red. "Oh, well, I mean, you're really nice and, I, umm." he stumbled. I giggled. "I think I get it." I told him.

We sat and talked for hours. He's actually a really nice guy. Really easy to talk to. Us hanging out made me like him even more. And I actually found out that he likes One Direction! He said that a lot of people make fun of him for it and they call him gay. But he just thinks they're a good band and he likes their songs.

After a while the sun began to set. I looked at the time on my iPod. 5:30pm. "Crap. I got to go." I told him. "It was really nice talking with you." He smiled. "You, too." he said. We stood up and he gave me a hug. I felt butterflies flying in my stomach. I gathered up my stuff and we walked to the railroad.

"Well, bye." I said quickly and turned to walk away. "Wait." he said, grabbing my hand. I looked into his eyes. He smiled and pecked my cheek. "Bye, Sydney." he said smiling. "B-Bye." I stuttered. He walked one way and I walked the other. Wow. Kaden Goff just kissed me. It was only the cheek but who cares?

I felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I didn't know what it was. It felt like guilt. Probably because I know my mom isn't going to be happy with me getting home late. And if my dad finds out I was hanging out with a boy, he is not going to be too happy. But me and Kaden are nothing serious, of course. Just friends. But I kinda wish we could be more than that.

Because I have no chance with the guy I really want, Louis Tomlinson. Because he is taken by Eleanor Calder! A.K.A. the luckiest girl in the world. I wish I could be her and have her life. Everything would be so good. But unfortunately I'm stuck here in boring old Ashland, surrounded by annoying siblings and high school jerks. 


~Kaden or Louis? Hmm, tough choice. (Psh, not really). Stay tuned for more! I hope you all enjoy it so far!~

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