Fifty Shades Of Grey: My Years With Elena *Warning - Explicit Content*


'Picture this, an adolescent boy looking to earn some extra money so he can continue his secret drinking habit. So, I was in the backyard at the Lincolns', clearing some rubble and trash from the extension Mr. Lincoln had just added to their place. Elena - Mrs. Lincoln appeared out of nowhere and brought me some lemonade. I made some smart-ass remark...and she slapped me. She slapped me so hard. She then seduced me and I became her submissive for six years.'

And this is my account of what happened.




 I sit at Elena's beautiful dining table in her new apartment, not far from the Esclava Salon, for one of our regular catch-ups. Elena does understated elegance almost as well as my mother. The table is dark glossy wood, surrounded by comfortable but stylish padded chairs covered in some kind of grey damask. A large vase dominates the table, full of one of Elena's favourite flowers - limelight hydrangeas. Elena had hooked up with Alan again over the holiday season. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. I should be irritated, annoyed...jealous even. Oddly I feel none of those things. I'm actually happy she seems finally be strong enough to move on from Linc and I didn't like the thought of her being alone since Valena moved across town to be nearer the new branch of Esclava, which opened recently. She will be managing that branch whilst Elena manages the original one. I'm secretly delighted that this means I won't see Val around as much as I did before. I had thought originally that she'd taken our 'split' well, but she became all clingy and begged me to continue with our arrangement. But I was determined to get on with my life and move forwards, and in all honesty, the guilt of 'cheating' on Elena was eating me up inside. Val's extreme reaction proved I had made the right decision - I mean, what kind of woman does that to someone who is meant to be her best friend, with seemingly no thought for their feelings whatsoever? I had decided to waive their repayments and instead reinvested the money in a new property. It was actually Bastille saying he wished Esclava was nearer to his home, which gave me the idea. All four of us went on a scouting mission and stumbled across a ramshackled shop, which was in the perfect location. A total refit and a bit of TLC later, Esclava II was up and running - as was a budding relationship between Bastille and a certain Ms. Rossi...

"What are you smiling at?" Elena asks as she pours me a glass of ice cold Sancerre.

"Just thinking of Claude and Val. I'm so happy they hooked up."

Elena nods. "I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. It's taken a long time, but finally she's getting everything she so richly deserves." She smiles fondly.

"I think they'll be a really good match..." And as long as it keeps Val off my back, I really hope they get serious. An unpleasant thought crosses my mind. Elena leans across and squeezes my hand.

"Darling...what is it?"

I take a deep breath. I didn't really want to share this with Elena but I have to tell someone. "I...I was a bit reckless in New York." I whisper.

Elena frowns. "Reckless? How? I thought you just said everything went well?"

"On a business level, it was exemplary." I screw my eyes closed momentarily and sigh. "On my last night there...I...I picked up a call girl."

Elena's grip on my hand intensifies for a few seconds then she lets go and grips her wine glass.

"YOU. DID. WHAT?" She hisses.

"I know, okay? But...I've been working so hard and literally falling exhausted into bed...only to be woken up by persistent nightmares."

Elena inhales sharply. "Persistent nightmares? Oh darling...I thought they were getting better?"

I take a long slug of Sancerre and barely register its descent. "They were. But at Christmas mom gave me an old box of my stuff she'd found in the attic. It was basically some old books, pennants etc. But there was also this scrapbook from shortly after I'd been adopted that mom had made. I had a flick through and a passport photo fell out. It was of my birth mom." I close my eyes again as the image flits behind my eyelids. I feel Elena grasp my hand again. I open my eyes and stare into my wine glass. "Anyway...that's when the nightmares became more frequent."

"Does Grace know?" She asks gently.

"Oh God no! I'd never tell her, she'd just get upset and blame herself. I'm discussing it all with Flynn and he thought some short-term sleeping pills may also help, but you know how anti-drugs I am."

She strokes her thumb over my knuckles. "Oh Christian, I'm so sorry."

I nod. "So...there I was on my last night in NYC - getting wasted at the bar in the hope it would be enough to let me sleep in peace - and that's when I met Terri."

"So it wasn't planned?"

"No! She was pretty, sexy and I was immediately attracted to her."

"Well I hope you were sensible enough to use protection."

"Yes of course."

"Well that's something. God only knows how many men she'd slept with, she could have been carrying anything. You didn't kiss her did you?"

Oh Christ...

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. She intensifies her grip on my hand. "Christian?"

Okay, here goes...

"Yes. We kissed okay. A lot. She also sucked me off and I went down on her. It was the height of recklessness, but it was also amazing and exactly what I needed."

Elena gapes and then glares at me.

"And before you ask, as soon as I got back I went and got tested. I'm in the clear."

Thank fuck.

Elena lets out a breath and takes a sip of wine. "But how do you know this girl won't track you down and expose you? The Internet is getting bigger, the nets spreading wider and privacy is getting thinner."

I nod. "I know, but I honestly did everything I could to cut all association. I gave her a large sum of money so she could re-locate back to her native New Zealand with her little girl. Her husband died on September 11th and she's really had it tough. She was only a call girl to save the money for the airfare to go back and be with her family. She doesn't even know my name."

"I see. And how did you manage to organise all this?"

"Barney helped me. He flew in with the cash. The man is a saint. But I have a meeting with Welch next week as I've asked him to look into finding me some kind of personal assistant/close protection. It's unfair to put on Barney so much. I need someone on call twenty-four-seven - preferably one who can also drive as I'd get so much more work done if I didn't drive all the time."

Elena stands. "Wait there, I'll be back in a moment."

I nod bemused. I finish off my glass of Sancerre and pour myself another.

Something tells me I may need it...

In all the time I have known her, I've come to realise that Elena is the mistress of never giving too much away. Even as my Sub she was reserved - when I would have liked her to be more open. The only time I ever saw a sliver of vulnerability was when I found her after that poor excuse for a human being had beaten her up...


She returns moments later with a wad of A4 white paper. Splitting them into two, she pushes them across the table to me. I pick one up in each hand.

"What are these?" I ask, confused.

"That," she says tapping the papers in my left hand. "Is a nondisclosure agreement or NDA. It's basically a legal document employees sign to protect areas of confidentiality pertaining to their employer. And that," she taps the papers in my right hand. "Is a BDSM contract."


I feel rather than see the NDA slip out of my grasp as I grip the BDSM contract with both hands.

"Why do you need a BDSM contract?" I whisper.

She sits down and takes a slug of wine. "Alan has started to use them with all his Subs. I was a bit affronted at first, but really when you read through it all, it makes sense. He said he sees it as a way of keeping his Subs safe, so that both parties know what they are comfortable with and know what their limits are."


"Everybody has soft and hard limits, Christian. For example with you, caning is a soft limit - not something you particularly enjoy receiving, but you tolerate it, and touching would be a hard limit - something you totally cannot tolerate. Obviously as a Dom no one would be caning you, you understand?"


I nod as I stare at the words on the paper.

Anal fisting? Holy fuck...

"You and Alan...he...he...does all this to you..?" I try but fail to keep the horror out of my voice.

"Christian...Alan and's a complex relationship." She sighs.

"But we..." I swallow. "We didn't need a contract."

Elena shakes her head slowly. "Darling...our relationship didn't need one. You were young and knew nothing of the lifestyle, plus you were going through such an awful time...I know it may not seem that way looking back, but I honestly treated you with kid gloves."

My head is swimming. All this time I had thought I knew what BDSM was all about, when in truth I'm a total novice.

"Christian, please don't overthink this. Like I said it is literally an agreement between Dom and Submissive. Take it with you and read it when you have had time to digest. Go to Angelica's, make notes and have a good think about what you are comfortable with and what you want out of a Sub. The NDA is a legal document and requires more of your immediate attention - if you don't want your staff selling a story about you."

I feel the blood drain from my face. I cannot begin to fathom the enormity of what would happen if any of my staff uncovered my secrets and went to the press. I feel Elena press something against the back of my hand. I look down and find a business card.

"Read through both the contract and NDA thoroughly and make notes. When you are satisfied as to what both documents should contain in your case, ring Harry and he'll draft them up for you."

"How do I know I can trust this guy?" I ask, gazing uncertainly at the card.

Law Offices of Harrison Clarke, Private Lawyer...

"Alan has known Harry for a number of years and is a very close and trusted friend," She takes a deep breath. "And a fellow Dom."

"FUCK!" The curse flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Sorry, Elena." I mumble. "I just never thought of a Lawyer as a Dom."

Elena smiles. "Oh you'd be surprised at the amount of highly professional people that follow the lifestyle. They don't all work in an art gallery like Alan."

I nod slowly. "I just feel like I'm way out of my depth."

Elena grabs either side of my jaw suddenly, surprising me. "Christian, you can do this. You've already proved yourself with me,with Terri and technically with Davina too. You have the makings of an amazing Dom. Just believe in yourself."

I smile reluctantly. "You've always told me to do that." I say softly.

"'d think by now you'd have actually taken it in!"

I chuckle as her ice-blue eyes dance with mirth. I then realise it's been almost a year since she last held my face like this...since...we were last intimate. It dawns on me that I now no longer get Goosebumps or butterflies in my stomach at her touch. There was a time - when I thought I was in love with her - that the merest brush of her hand against mine was enough to get me hard.

WOW. I really have moved on...

"You know you mean the world to me don't you, Christian?"

I grab her hands off my face and kiss her chastely across the knuckles. "You mean a lot to me too Elena...but I'm into brunettes now..."

Her eyes widen and I cannot stop the bubble of laughter that escapes from my throat at her expression. I let go of her hands. "Thanks, Elena. You always did know how to make me feel better."

She tilts her head and regards me as she takes a slug of wine, an odd expression on her face. I open my mouth to query it, but then she stands up, squares her shoulders and clears her throat.

"It's getting late and we both have early starts in the morning."


" everything okay?"

"Yes, fine." She says lightly, but her tone is brittle and I feel like the atmosphere between us has dropped by several degrees. I stand and grasp her chin. " and me...we've moved on...Haven't we..?"

"Yes...of course. I'm..." She takes a deep breath and sighs. "I'm just tired, Christian."

I frown and then kiss her cheek. "I'll be in touch. Thank you for the paperwork and for looking out for me."

"Always." She whispers softly.






"So you definitely think he's our guy?"

"Absolutely. He's done it all - commando, tour of duties and was even in a close protection unit for the Vice-President. I've just finished working with him on a Black Op. He's a great guy."

I finish reading Welch's emailed background check on the impressive Jason Taylor.

I scroll back to the top of the screen and move my cell from under my chin, grasping it in my fingers. "But why would he be interested in being my assistant? He seems far too qualified. I'm hardly the Vice-President!

"After the debriefing we went for a coffee. His marriage has broken down - mainly due to his many missions away from home. His wife has moved back to Seattle and taken his little girl with her. He has weekend access, but if he relocates permanently to Seattle, he can see her during the week too. He dotes on his little girl and said he wanted something more settled and not so dangerous as he has been doing. He doesn't want to risk anything that would jeopardise the time he spends with Sophie."

I rub my chin. "To be honest, I'm still not convinced but set up a meeting anyway. I need to see what kind of vibes I get from him when I sound him out."

"Will do Christian. Anything else I can help you with?"

I grin. "Know any good housekeepers?"

"None with Black Ops experience..."






"Mr. Taylor is here, Sir."

"Thank you, Andrea. Send him in."

I'll readily admit I'm a little nervous about meeting Jason Taylor. I've spoken to him over the phone and he seemed utterly down-to-earth, considering his impressive career. I don't think I've ever met anyone with such an exemplary record of achievement before.

So why the hell would he be so eager to work for me..?

That's what I'm hoping to find out today. There is a sharp rap at the door. "Come!"

The door is pushed open and a strawberry blonde head appears followed by a muscular body clad in black pants, black t-shirt and a black leather bomber jacket. He pushes the door closed and approaches my desk as I go to meet him half-way.

"Christian Grey," I smile.

"Jason Taylor." He smiles back as he shakes my hand firmly. "But everyone just calls me Taylor."

"Pleasure to meet you, Taylor. Please take a seat. Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee..."

"A black coffee would be great. Thank you."

Well at least we have ONE thing in common...

I press a button on my desk. "Andrea, two black coffees please."

"Certainly, Sir."

I sit down on the leather armchair in front of Taylor. "Welch speaks very highly of you."

He smiles and the skin around his warm hazel eyes crinkles. "I really enjoyed working with him. He's a great guy."

"Yes he is. He's pretty invaluable to my operation."

"It's a very impressive set-up you have here, Christian. I'm flattered you'd be interested in employing me."


I try not to gape at him. Luckily one of the new interns comes in with the coffees.

"Thank you, Rebecca. Just place it on the coffee table."

"Yes, Sir," she whispers as she shakily lowers the tray to the table. I grab it off her impatiently and place it on the table between myself and Taylor. She gazes at me with huge chocolate brown eyes and I fight the urge to demand she lowers her gaze. "That is all, Rebecca."

"Yes, Sir." She breathes as her cheeks flush and her ears go pink. She turns on her heel and exits.

"Sorry, Taylor. She's been on an Internship here for a month and I'm yet to discover whether she has any more vocabulary other than those two words!"

Taylor chuckles. "Does she need any more vocabulary?"

I grin. "I suppose not."

Hmmm...Maybe this COULD work...

"Taylor, I'll cut to the chase. Tell me why someone with your exemplary military record and background would want to work just as my assistant and close protection?"

Taylor looks taken aback for a moment. He leans forward grabs the coffee cup and takes a sip, seemingly pondering my question. Finally he sighs and sets his coffee cup down again. "Can I be brutally honest, Mr. Grey?"

"Of course."

Shit...Now what?

"I could wax lyrical about the great opportunity of working for one of Seattle's youngest entrepreneurs and his rapidly expanding empire and of course I would mean every word, but the honest truth is I need to find a job near to where my little girl lives with my ex-wife or I risk missing out on her childhood completely. I constantly live with the regret of being an absent father for most of her early life - I don't want to miss any more."


His heartfelt frankness floors me. I blink at him as I assemble my thoughts.

"Sorry Mr. Grey, I know I didn't exactly sell myself, but I can promise I will be hardworking, trustworthy, dedicated and loyal. You won't have to worry about any task you give me; it will be carried out with military precision. You'll be in very safe hands, I promise."

I swallow a shot of coffee as I digest everything he's just disclosed. I stand and walk to my desk. "Andrea please could you bring in an employment contract and NDA."

I look over to Taylor and he beams happily.

You know might just have struck gold there...


"Sir, I have Welch on line one."

"Thank you, Andrea. Put him through."

Taylor had left half an hour ago after going through the NDA and his employment contract. During his contract negotiation, he recommended I bought a state-of-the-art SUV, with the latest security technology, that he could use to drive me around in. As I was contemplating where I was going to find the time to research this, Taylor said he had a contact that customised SUV's to the owners specifications. So I have given him carte blanche to organise it for me and report back.

"Hi Welch."

"Hello Christian. How did it go with Taylor?"

I smile. "Extremely well. Despite being grossly over-qualified, he's delighted to take the job on to be close to his little girl and I admire someone who would put his family above all else."

I sense Welch's smile. "I'm delighted, Christian. He won't let you down."

"No, I genuinely don't believe he will. He's gone off looking for a secure SUV we can use as transport."

"Excellent. I'm happy to hear that. I know the transition of going from doing everything yourself to relying on another person may seem hard at first, but once you get used to it, you'll wonder how you ever managed without him."

"Thanks, Welch. As ever your information on people is spot on."

"Talking of which...You asked me a while back to track activities involving Roger Lincoln and Lincoln Timber?"

I bolt upright from where I have been lounging on my leather desk chair. "You got something?"

"He's recently closed down all his off-shore accounts. Looks like he's using the money to plough back into the business. His turnover has dropped significantly in the past year."

Since Elena left the son-of-a-bitch to cope without her...

"Good," I mutter bitterly.

"Yes...It seems he's preparing to float the company on the Stock Exchange."

I grin wickedly.

Got you, you fucker...

I thank Welch for all his work and then head out of my office and down the corridor. Arriving at Ros's door I rap sharply.

"Come in," her smokey voice calls.

I poke my head round the door. "Hi Ros, you got a minute?"

"Of course, Christian! Take a seat. What's up?" She pushes her computer screen out of the way and smiles at me.

"I need you to set up a small business account that can't be traced to GEH."

Ros's eyes widen.

"Don't worry it's nothing illegal. There's a company I've been tracking for a while and its soon to be floated on the Stock Exchange. I want us to buy as many shares as possible, without the CEO knowing it's me behind it all."

"I see. Do you have a name for this company?" Ros asks as she taps away at her keyboard.

"Yes. MTG Enterprises. I intend to gift it to Mia one day."

Ros beams. "She is very lucky to have such a caring brother."

I smile fondly. "She's a very special girl. So, can I leave that with you to set it up for me?"

"Of course. I've got the wheels in motion as we speak."

"Excellent. Thanks Ros. Contact Barney if you need help with removing anything that would link it to GEH and I'll let you know as soon as I hear the company is being floated."

"No problem, Christian. Leave it with me." She looks over her monitor screen at me mischievously. "So...Tell me about the enigmatic Mr. Taylor. The girls in the office said he was cute..."

Oh Ros...He's SO not my type...




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