"Inside" is about a kid who has a double life and is stuck in a love triangle. She doesnt know what to do and in the end she reveals a huge secret no one was supposed to know...


8. What Am I Doing?

             Three months since my sister arrived home from the hospital. Three months since Roy left back to his girlfriend. Three months since One Direction decided to create an album with me. Three months since Zayn decided he loved me. And two months since Zayn asked me to be his girl friend. I said yes of course. Although, we decided that when people were to find out we were together, I would be Clarice, not Jace. Everything has been going great. Katie is healing, Dad goes to AAA every week. My career has sky rocketed thanks to Zayn. And One Direction and I are on our third song of the album. Granted, none of our fans know about the album. 

             The paparazzi love when Zayn and I go out in public. It's nice, that I at least get to spend time with him, without the other boys around. But it's still hard to be true to who I am, no matter who I'm around. I had to recapture myself from scratch when my mother died. I had to do the same thing when Roy broke my heart both times, and I'm doing it all over again now that I know that I could lose someone at any moment in my life. It's a difficult thing to do. To learn to love all of your flaws. Your facial features. Your body type. Your curves. You have to learn to love what you look like in the mirror. Whether you have makeup on or not. If you're dressed up or wearing drags. If your hair is all nice and done up, or it looks like you just rolled around in a mud pit. Even if you wear a wig and color contacts, you learn to love who you naturally are. That's what I've been doing for the past few months.

             With blonde hair just barely past my shoulder blades, and golden-yellow eyes, just like a cat. Weighing 110 pounds and a height of 5'4" Some people say I have a bubble butt, and my personal dresser tells me I have C size boobs. I have medium/dark skin, which is so odd because both of my parents have fair skin. Sometimes I'll stare at myself in the mirror and tell myself all of my flaws. The small scar barely hidden in my left eyebrow. The beauty mark on the top right of my shoulder blade. How each 2nd toe is a little bit longer than my big toe. How I have a hitch hiker thumb. I have small lips, and a small nose. I have tiny ears and tiny pinky toes. There's a cat shaped birthmark on my right hip. I've got a sharp jaw line. I'm shaped like an hour glass. One dimple of mine is higher than the other. My body is almost entirely muscle. My nails grow out square, just like the acrylic nails at the salon. I have a long torso, and semi long legs. And shamelessly, I have completely flawless skin, creating the "perfect" affect that every superstar needs.              I've got a studio booked for the next three days, the boys and I have a lot of work to get done.  



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