Resisting you.

She doesn't attention seek. He adores attention. She has no friends. He has everyone at his feet. She loved him. He broke her.


7. 7, stupid feelings, day one




So after some time going over the plan, I begin to look at Tyler in a different light, yes he's attractive, lovely and somehow feelings have grown, I'm not sure if they're real since I've only known this guy for about four hours. 
This is gonna sound crazy, but I think I'm trying to distract my jealously from my feelings for Harry. It sounds nuts since I should loath Harry; it's just something I can't get over: feelings, pain in the ass! 

"Right so shall we go find them?" Tyler said knocking from my deep thoughts. 

"Yes" I say gulping, I hope this works but if it doesn't then I really don't know how I, going to deal with these feelings I have toward well I don't even know anymore. 

"Good" he said smiling, so I returned it weakly though, time to act.
So we both laugh and I place my hand seductively on Tyler's shirt tugging on his collar line as he pins one hand in the wall while he has another on my hip. 

I bite my lip and raise my eyebrow, I look over to my left to see Harry and a brown haired what looks like way too much makeup that should be worn and her hair seems to be overly dyed, it's really dried out and thin. I get a little jealous so I swing my hips closer to Tyler getting more intermit. I keep Harry in sight as he draws closer. 
I bite my lip hard and sexually glare at Tyler. I look in the corner if my eye to see Harry tense up at the sight. 

I smile more into Tyler once I begin to realise that Harry is actually jealous. 

I look at Harry to see he's, hurt? Harry? Seriously? 

"I think it's working" Tyler said knowing my state, Tyler's  tall body over powers me, a little intimidating I suppose, it just makes it this so much more fun. 

Tyler leans down wanting to kiss me, I feel alarmed and let him kiss my cheek, I can't face this, I look to Harry that's currently giving me an apologetic smile. 


"Harry, I've never kissed anyone," I admit a little nervous, I lean against the tree as Harry over powers me. 

"It's ok just relax" Harry reassured, I wish we didn't have to hide but if someone ever found out Harry would be out of his friend group. 

"Ok" I say weakly, I'm so nervous, Harry smiled apologetically into my eyes before placing his hand on the side of my cheek. 

He leaned down connecting his lips with mine, shots of warmth shoot up and down my stomach, I loosen my lips letting Harry take control. I hesitantly place my hands on his hips gently. I feel his lips curve into a smile. He disconnects his lips from mine and I flutter my eyes open on his cheeks, I look up into his eyes that seem to be searching for something in mine. 

"I love you" Harry said finding his evidence. I think I love him, I don't feel anything for anyone like I do for Harry, he gives me reassurance, warmth and something to live for. 

"Harry, I think I love you, no I love you it feels warm inside everywhere every time we touch and when you kissed me shooting warm fireworks blew off everywhere" I explained making Harry grin widely, say we're too young to find love but, I do I'm thirteen and in love, I don't care what people say, I love Harry and nothing will change that, I'm positive of it. 

*-end of flashback*

I've only ever kissed Harry, I'm scared to be in love. I don't want to kiss anyone unless it's my mother. 

"I'm sorry" I say knowing Harry has gotten the better of me this time. 

"No, you need to let go of him, he will hurt you again; I don't want that" Tyler said full of concern. 

"It's almost five we better get back to our halls" Tyler said looking at the white clock with black hands currently ticking around it. 

"Yeah, I'm in tallfoot" I say pointing the opposite direction to Tyler. 

"Oh ok well I will see you later at the singing show sign ups?" Tyler said winking. 

"Maybe." I say winking back I wave and turn round to walk to the hall. 

I walk down past the music room I met Tyler in, I smile knowing I met probably my best friend for the trip. 

I reach the packed hall with girls already all over Harry, he spots me and pushes them away. I knit my eyes in confusion. 

I walk over to Harry that seems to be sitting on a somehow uneven sitting, with a tense body and hands clasped together on jogging knees. I walk over and smile at him. 

"So Tyler" he says attempting to smile. 

"Yep" I say popping the 'p' 

"Already?" He asks hoping for a no, I can see it in his eyes he's pleading me to be single I sit next to him in worry. 

"No Harry, look you are still and always my first kiss and well my only" I say mumbling the last part, I reassure him even though Tyler told me to not to feel weak around Harry but I will always. 

"Really?" He asks brightening up a little I don't know why considering he should hate me. 

"Yes." I say beginning to regret levelling his self esteem. 

I turn around and sit my hands on my lap entwining my fingers with each other, the bracelet slips down into Harry's sight, he looks somehow looks surprised. 

"You still have it?" He wonders holding my wrist looking at the small sliver shimmer. 

"I never took it off" I say as tears well up in my eyes, I smile weakly at Harry that seems to be wide eyed, once again. 

"I remember the day I gave it to you" Harry said giving me goosebumps. 


"Harry I don't know what to say, this is beautiful" I say as he clips the silver garment onto my small wrist. 
He kisses the heart making goosebumps arise upon my skin. 

"Not as beautiful as you" Harry said as his glittering eyes fall on mine.

*-end of flashback*

"Hellooooo" I hear popping me from my thoughts, I look to see Lydia laughing, I look to see harry disturbed as our conversation was interrupted. 

"Hello" I say smiling. I was actually enjoying this conversation. 

"We can carry on this talk later" Harry said again leaving a hot breath on my neck, oh god damn goosebumps again! 

I nod at my vulnerable state; I can't seem to find words. 

Lydia seems to give harry a glare, I think she got the wrong impression from Harry's whisper. 

"So food!" She says happily, I nod and smile. 

"Food!" I simply reply getting up from my seat to go to the queue. 

*two hours later* 

Do I go in? Do I not? I do. No go while you can! Oh for fuck sake just go! 

I open the door to not see Tyler anywhere, in fact all there is is one women. 

"Oh hello and you must be?" She says walking toward me, American. What is it with everyone being American?! 

"Lana" I reply shaking her hand nervously. 

"So please what song?" She asks excited, she seems enthusiastic is she not gonna wait for anyone else? 

"What about the others?" I ask a little frightened. 

"Well you're forty minutes late but are you in tallfoot?" She asked almost as if she knew. 

"Yeah we had to wait ages before we got to eat the food wasn't ready" I say as she nods to my understanding. 

"Yeah don't worry, just erm, well what song do you want to sing and I will tell you if I can play it" miss said sitting down at the piano, the one I recently played on. 

"Well I have a song, but you don't need the piano, or any instrument" I say thinking of behind the wall, tracy chapman. 

"Hmm interesting, you know what? Go for it" she said smiling turning around on her black wooden piano stool. 

"Last night I heard the screaming 
Loud voices behind the wall 
Another sleepless night for me 
It won't do no good to call 
The police 
Always come late
If they come at all

Last night I heard the screaming 
Loud voices behind the wall 
Another sleepless night for me 
It won't do no good to call 
The police 
Always come late
If they come at all 

And when they arrive 
They say they can't interfere 
With domestic affairs 
Between a man and his wife 
And as they walk out the door 
The tears well up in her eyes 

Last night I heard the screaming 
Then a silence that chilled my soul 
Prayed that I was dreaming 
When I saw the ambulance in the road 

And the policeman said 
'I'm here to keep the peace. 
Will the crowd disperse? 
I think we all could use some sleep.'

Last night I heard the screaming 
Loud voices behind the wall 
Another sleepless night for me 
It won't do no good to call 
The police 
Always come late
If they come at all" I sing closing my eyes as I let the emotions drain through me. 

"Well, that was so emotional." The lady said wiping her eyes, did I actually put emotion through her? That's just amazing.

"Thank you." I say timidly, I don't want to be cocky in any way. 

"Well I will let you know in announcements tomorrow." She said smiling, oh I see how this is, let me be all nervous and then embarrass me in front of everyone tomorrow. 

"Ok, bye." I say walking out. I let out a deep sigh before re-opening my eyes to the realisation. 


"Ok, ok! I give in! You win!" I say laughing as his hands move around my stomach making a tickling sensation. 

"I thought so, victory!" He said getting up showing off his large muscles, I have to say impressive, another thing to adore. 

I'm taking this opportunity to reach up and jump on him, he stumbles over and lands on the bed I get up and jump on him again putting my knees on his hands and trapping his legs with my feet, I ruffle up his hair as he tries to fight me off. 

"Say it! Lana perry is the greatest person alive and I'm a giant dick!" I say laughing at the boy in front of me. 

"Never!" Harry said beginning to struggle from my grip, I dig my knees into his wrists more.

"Ok! I surrender! Lana perry is the best and I have a giant dick!" Harry said twisting the words.

I shake my head and dig my knees more into Harry's arms, now I'm properly straddling over Harry. 

"I don't believe you" I say right into his face lips inches apart, he licks his lips and leaves hot breaths on my bitten lip.

"You want me to show you?" He asks smirking I look away to the floor a little, oh dear.

"No!" I say jumping from him, this is not happening! 

"I bet you do, your just afraid to admit it!" Harry said sitting up, I don't want him to get his penis out, I don't even know what's so attractive about them! I really don't, I mean some girls are like, 'oh he has a nice cock' I sit there gagging its awful! 

"No, Harry no! I really don't!" I say laughing a little.

"Yeah yeah! What ever you say!" He shouts getting up. 

"Oh god, this is just like old times," Harry says slumping back onto his bed spreading his arms apart. 

"Yeah, the good times." I say smiling at a little re-capping, it was just me and Harry, before anyone else. Before Jay, before all the drama; great times. 

"I miss them, do you remember when you broke your arm when you fell from the tree?" Harry asks pointing to the little scar on my arm. 

"Yeah, and you thought you were superman so you made a sling from your shirt for me." I say tugging his shirt smiling. 


"Ouch!" I screech in pain, my arm is sending sharp sensations up and down like little men running around. 

"Are you ok?!" Harry shouts running for me. 

"I hurt my arm." I cry holding it, while the blood pours from it the snapped branch parts are still in the cut. 

"Here let me help, keep still." Harry said taking his blue shirt off, what is he doing? 

He lifts my arm as I keep crying, he puts his shirt under it and moves my hair from my neck and ties a knot with the sleeves. 

"Thank you, you're the greatest friend ever." I say smiling while the pain backs away a little. 

"It's ok!" Harry replies hugging me loosely. 

*-end of flashback*

"Yeah, well I was superman." Harry said nodding stupidly. 

"Oh you actually convinced yourself that you were superman!" I say poking his belly. 

"Well, Indiana Jones, at least I didn't carry a whip everywhere!" Harry said referring to my Indiana Jones obsession. 

"That was cool." I say folding my arms, Harry goes so he's on his elbows and laughs shaking his head. 

A thick silence takes over, I sit looking down while Harry looks, well I don't know cause I have my back to him. 

"Well, I better go sleep." I say awkwardly breaking the silence. 

"Yeah well ok, erm night." Harry said getting up, he gets the door and opens it for me, step through it into my territory. 

"Right well," Harry says biting his lip. Too much awkwardness for me. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna go sleep now." I say, Harry nods and closes the door, I lean against it slightly I let out a quiet gasp. 

"I miss you" a small whisper disperse from a fragile male on the other side of wood. 

I open the door to see harry on the floor laying down ahead looking up at me, his jaw drops slightly. 

"You miss me?" I question, I'm not gonna let this one slip, the whole 'why can't you love me' thing still hasn't quite sunk in yet, or the meaning. 

"I, I, can you please be my friend I'm so sorry for what I've done over the last few years and I want you to just please be my friend!" Harry loudly whispered as I lower to his height, he's actually apologising, can I forgive him for this though? Can I really? He's emotionally and physically scarred me and that's something I can't get rid of, all the horrible fears and tears that Harry caused all the late night cries and stress; horrifying walks just to school. 

"Harry I don't know" I softly say laying next to him. 

"I will make it up to you, I promise." Harry says holding out his pinky, can I though?! 

"One chance," I say taking grip of his pinky. 

"I won't let you down, I swear." Harry whispers. 

Oooh! Will he let her down? What do you think?! Comment your ideas, what you think, improvements, I'd like some criticism from you lot, it'd be good:) 
But OMG!! I woke up to 56 reads!! I'm so great full! So I decided may as well update because I'm so happy! If you're wondering about when I update it'll be around very other day? But I won't now until Tuesday? Because I have a french exam on Tuesday and I really need pass!! Also good luck to you guys that have finals, GCSE exams and other exams and tests and things! Cause I love it when people say good luck to me it's a real confidence booster! So yeah! Comment and like and favourite, ya know all the nag nag nag aha. Love you all my tophat people! 




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