A day in a cutters life

You may think you know some cutters thoughts, but you have no idea.
This is just a small part of what really goes on inside.


1. A day in a cutters life

The girl is biking to school in her very own thoughts, while the world is rolling pas her eyes. She comes to the school with a smile on her face and sets her bike. The day goes on and everything is fine, or so everybody else thinks. But deep down the girl lays on secret, a deep one. One she has only told her best friends about. She tries not to think about it, she tries not to look sad, but sometimes she just loses it. Her teacher looks at her with a questionably look, but she just smiles at her and pretend that everything’s fine. She starts getting sadder and sadder. The dark thought pops up in her head. The voices start screaming, the bad things she think everybody else says behind her back like: “What a loser!” the first voice screams, “She’s so fat! Nobody want’s her!” the other one screams even louder. The girl tries to ignore it, but she can’t. The only thing she wants right now is for it to stop, but I don’t. It just keeps going. Her best friend comes over with a smile on her face and they starts talking. She smiles, but it’s not a real smile. The bell rings and now she can finally get home. That’s what she has been waiting for the whole day. She is walking with her friends down to the bikes but she leaves fast, long time before the others. She is biking fast. Everything seems so grey, so dark and cold. She just want it all to stop. She just wants to feel happy again. She just want’s her happy ending. She gets home and enters the empty house. Nobody is home, but that’s normal. She goes to her room and look in the mirror with a tear rushing down her face. The voices just keep going on and on, and there is only one thing that helps. So she looks through her closet and finds that one thing. Her razor. She looks at her self in the mirror again and says slowly “You deserve it” and slowly she makes the first cut, but soon there comes one more, and then one more. Suddenly she stops crying. It doesn’t hurt. It’s actually the best feeling she knows at the point. She put’s the razor full of blood in to the closet again. She feel relished, but at the same time guilty. She promised she would never do it again. She’s a failure, one big failure… Her life seems like one evil circle she just can’t break out of. The thought she will always have in her head is: Everything would be easier if I just killed myself.

You want to know why I know how the girl feels? Because, there was a time where i was that girl.

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