Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


102. Rehearsals

Harry's POV

"Wow, it's beautiful."

I can't take my eyes off of Lily as she gazes everywhere around us. Her eyes brighten everywhere she looks as we walk in downtown Lima and I can't take my eyes away from her. I've kept my fingers clasped with hers as she walks slightly ahead of me in excitement, even when she stops at a vendor's booth to look at intricate souvenirs.

We have a team of security with us, keeping paparazzi and fans a safe distance away from us. I take a few pictures with the fans but eventually I get the security to politely tell them that I can't since I want to enjoy my time with Lily.

She leaves tomorrow. I have to make the most of our time together.

We continue to walk downtown and when I'm able to occasionally pull my gaze away from her, I look around me and understand why Lily was so mesmerized. Lima is beautiful. The weather is perfect. This day is perfect.

Lily stops at another vendor's booth and I reluctantly let go so she can look at the jewelry.

"I want to get something for El. I felt bad that she couldn't come with me."

I stand beside her and hang my arm loosely around her shoulders as I look down at the jewelry. She looks closely at a bunch of them and eventually picks a pair of earrings and a bracelet for El. As she's paying for her purchases, something catches my eyes. I pick up the small charm and knew that it was the perfect one to add to Lily's bracelet.

I pick up a random ring that I found the nicest out of the others and stand beside Lily as I wait to pay. I didn't want her to see the charm yet. I want to wait until the perfect moment. That's why I picked up a random ring so she thinks that it's the only thing I'm buying. Lily stands by the side, making sure that she got everything so I quickly pay for the charm and the ring.

I put them safely in my pocket before I walk up to Lily, grabbing her hand before we continue walking down the street.

"Did you want to get lunch?" I ask as Lily leans against me and places her free hand and clasps my wrist. I realize why when I see that the number of paparazzi has now doubled since we first stepped out of the hotel.

"Sure," she answers.

"How about this one?" I nod towards the very first restaurant that we approach, wanting to get Lily away from what I can tell is making her anxious.

I open the door for her and we step inside. The sounds of the cameras and the shouting is quickly muffled when the door closes behind us. We're led to a table and I sit beside Lily instead of in front of her. She smiles sweetly at me as I move my chair closer to her and I instantly smile back.

I take my hand and brush her hair behind her ear and she leans in and places a sweet kiss on my lips. I lay my arm on the back of her chair and she starts to look through the menu.

Our waiter walks up to our table just to take our drink order before we're left alone again. Lily continues to look through the menu as I just watch her and lightly brush my hand through her hair. She's not even curious about my actions. This is natural for us now. We always find each other absentmindedly giving light touches to the other. Most of the time it's me doing it to her.

Our waiter comes back with our drinks and takes out a pen and notepad.

"What would you like to order?"

Lily looks up at him with a polite smile. "I'll have the ravioli, please."

He writes down her order before he turns to me.

"I'll have the same."

He nods. "Alright. Thank you."

I hand both of our menus to him before he walks away.

Lily turns to me with an amused smile and leans against me as I continue to run my fingers through her hair.

"You didn't even look at the menu," she says.

I can't help the grin spreading across my face.

"Yes, I did."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh, yeah? What else was on the menu?"

"Well, there was the, um...the salad and...water."

Lily laughs and shakes her head. I know she caught on. She knows that I was too distracted by her to even bother looking at the menu. I don't even care what she ended up ordering. I would still have ordered the same thing.

"I wanted the ravioli so I don't know what you're accusing me of," I tease.

"Okay, so what kind of ravioli is it?" she challenges.

I bite my bottom lip to hold back my smile. "You know...the pasta kind...with the sauce and stuff."

She laughs again and I can't hold back my smile this time at the sound.

"You're an idiot," she chuckles.

"I love you, too."

She gives me a toothy smile before she leans in and gives me another quick kiss.

"I know you're going to rehearsal right after this and I know that you asked me to go with me but I was thinking that I should go back to the hotel to take a quick nap. I don't want to pass out during the actual show tonight. Is that okay?"

She's right. She's still in UK time. The lads and I don't go on until nine tonight, which would technically be three in the morning for her. I know she still hasn't adjusted to the time change. She's only been here for one night. Plus, she was awake at four this morning.

"Of course. I understand. I do want you to be awake for the show so I don't mind at all." I give her an understanding smile as she relaxes and leans against me again.

"It'll just be a quick nap. Just enough to keep me up later tonight."

"Take as long as you need. Just make sure that you actually wake up," I chuckle.

She lightly smacks me on my stomach and I wrap my arms around her shoulder and pull her closer to me.

Suddenly, she snaps her head to look at me, again.

"Wait. Ashton's band is opening for you guys, right?"

I tense at her question but I quickly tell myself to calm down. I know they're just friends.

I clear my throat. "Yeah, they are."

"That's great! I haven't seen him in a while."

My jaw tenses as I look down at the table. I think back and remember that the last time they saw each other was the night of my mum's birthday party. The night that all hell broke loose after Ivana told everyone about the concert.

Have they talked since then? Do they talk every day?

"Hey. Stop that. I know what's going through your head."

I'm pulled out of my thoughts and I look up at Lily to see a worried expression on her face.

"We're just friends, Harry. I'm having the most wonderful time here with you. Don't let your thoughts ruin it. Please."

Her eyes plead for me to understand. I really am trying to work on my jealousy issue like I promised her.

And she's right. Everything's been perfect since she got here. I know that if I let this get in between us, I might ruin the rest of the time I have with her before she has to leave.

So, I smile and pull her close to me, again.

"Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. I don't want to ruin our time together, either. Don't worry. I'll behave tonight."

I smile at her and she rolls her eyes with her own smile.

I kiss her forehead. "I'm sure he'll be excited to see you, too. He told me when we saw each other for the first time before our first show that he misses you. I made sure he meant it in a strictly friendly way."

She laughs. "I wouldn't question you for that otherwise."

She takes out her phone when she gets a text and I see that it's from El. I just sit there and watch her as she talks to El before our waiter comes to our table with our food. He places the two dishes of ravioli in front of us before he tends to another table.

Lily and I sit up straight in our seat as we look down at our food.

"See? I was right. It has sauce and stuff."

"Okay," she laughs. "Whatever you say."

We start eating our food and I mentally beat myself up for a second once I realize that I can't even share my food with her since she has the same thing.

Actually, who says I can't?

"Did you want to try mine? It's delicious," I say.

She looks at me with amusement. "You're so annoying right now," she laughs as she takes another bite of her own food.

"Mine does look better than yours so it's your loss." I shrug my shoulders dramatically before I continue to finish my food.

I finish before her and, like always, she feeds me some of the rest of her food until it's done.

"Did you want dessert?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No, I'm full. Thank you, though."

I gesture to the waiter and he comes over so I can ask for the bill.

I know what she's going to say without even looking at her so I interrupt her.

"I'm paying and don't you dare argue with me."

She playfully glares at me when I look up at her with a grin.

"Well, since I feel bad for missing your rehearsal, I'll let it slide this time."

I laugh. "Good. And, baby, don't feel bad for missing rehearsal. It's just rehearsal. I only care that you'll be there for the show tonight." I put my arm around her shoulder again and pull her closer as she pouts at me.

"Don't worry. I'll be there early. I'll be there way before the show starts. Like I said, it'll just be a quick nap. I'll most likely be there by four at the latest. Maybe earlier, if I can."

I smile. "I'm actually excited, you know? I've always wanted to bring you to one of my shows."

She returns my smile. "I'm excited, too. And I'm particularly extra excited for a certain song."

My smile widens and my eyes dart down to her lips for a few seconds before they return to her eyes. I know exactly what song she's talking about.

"You know...for our first show, I was looking in the crowd and I wished, more than anything, that you were there. I wanted to sing that song for the first time with you there in front of me."

Her face softens.

"But the second show tonight won't be any less special," I continue. "If anything, it'll be more special since you're finally going to be there. I'll sing every song to you."

Her smile reappears and she places her hands on my lap.

"As lovely as that sounds, I don't think the fans will find that as romantic as I will. I don't want to give them another reason to hate me for stealing all your attention tonight."

My face falls slightly at her words. "Hey, they don't hate you to begin with. Don't say that."

She gives me a quick smile. " your show how you normally do it. I want to see Harry live in action."

I know she's trying to push the whole hate issue aside. I know she's just brushing it off like it's nothing. I know it bothers her but I wish it didn't. I know that there's hate out there but I wish she didn't let it get to her. And I know that I can't stop the hate from coming so I don't want her to constantly feel that way.

The waiter comes back with my card, not allowing me to explain this to her. We stand up and I take her hand and lead her to the exit. I look out the window and freeze in my spot when I see the huge crowd that's formed since we first walked in this restaurant. It's completely packed all around. I can't even see the road.

I look down at Lily and see anxiety clear on her face. I pull her closer before I walk up to one of the bodyguards that came in from the outside once he saw us. He tells me that the car is waiting right in front but that we need to push through the crowd to get there. There are four guards with us so I'm hoping that we get there safely.

All I care about is getting Lily in the car safely. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to her.

"You guys ready?" the guard asks us.

Lily and I both nod before we follow him to the door. We stand right behind him as he opens the door. We're met with shouts, screams and continuous flashes as we step outside. The four guards surrounds Lily and I and I keep her as close to me as I can as we slowly push our way forward. We're pushed side to side by the guards but I know that it's because the crowd is pushing against them. The screams and shouts get louder. The journey to the car becomes much more difficult as people push from all around us.

I look down and see Lily looking absolutely frightened. I know she's never experienced a mob this big and I just want to get her out of it.

Thankfully, the car comes into view and one of the guards opens the door. The other guards push people out of the way, leaving a clear path for me to lead Lily to the car. I let her go in first before I quickly hop in after her. The door closes right after I'm safely in the car and I breathe a sigh of relief at the new silence.

I look over at Lily and see her looking outside the window in awe, knowing that she's completely taken aback by this unfamiliar scene. One of the guards sits in the passenger seat before the driver tries to maneuver out of the crowd. I pay no attention to the outside as I just focus on helping Lily calm down.

I know her anxiety level went up during that short but stressful journey to the car. I pull her to me, rubbing her arm soothingly. I can feel her breathing go back to normal as we head back to the hotel. We sit in silence as I continue to comfort her until we arrive back to the hotel. The driver stops inside the parking garage, no sign of any paparazzi or mobs of fans anywhere.

"I know I should walk you up to the room but I have to head to the stadium now," I say. "Are you gonna be okay?"

She gives me a small smile and nods. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I promise. I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

I nod and give her a quick kiss.

"I'll try to leave here by 3:30. Call me if I don't text by that time. If you're not busy, of course."

"I will," I reply. "Have a good nap. Take all the time you need. The show doesn't start until seven so you have plenty of time."

"It's okay. I'll only need a couple of hours. I'll be there before the show starts."

We exchange smiles before she leans in and places her lips on mine. I take my hand and rest it on her cheek, pulling her closer.

I know it's only going to be a few hours but I'm still going to miss her. I know she needs to take a nap. I don't want her to be tired during the show. I want her to have fun.

I reluctantly pull away but I leave a few quick kisses on her lips and one on her nose.

"I'll see you in a bit," I say.

"Have a good rehearsal. I'll see you soon."

"I love you." I give her one last kiss before she pulls away.

"I love you." She gives me a wide smile before she turns and opens the door. She steps out and turns to face me.

"See you later."

I return her smile. "Bye."

She closes the door and I watch her to make sure she gets inside the hotel safely. Once she disappears out of view, the driver heads out of the parking garage and makes his way to the stadium.

The car is eerily quiet but I know it's because of Lily's absence. It's only been ten seconds and I already miss her. I just remind myself that I'll see her in a few hours. She's just getting the rest she needs and then I'll see her again and she'll have enough energy to enjoy the show.

We arrive at the stadium soon after and I make my way inside, following the guard. I look up at the stage in awe. No matter how many times I see a new stage, I'm always amazed by it. I see the other lads in front of the stage, goofing around as the lads from 5 Seconds of Summer finish their rehearsal.

I reach the boys and stand beside Louis as we watch them. They finish off 'Don't Stop' before they jump off the stage and walk up to us.

"Great job, lads," Niall says, giving them a hug.

"Thanks," Calum replies. "The stage is great."

"Let's go, boys," our stage manager shouts from the stage. The five of us walk up the stage and take our places in the middle.

We go through a few songs, being directed where to go and what to do at certain parts of the show. The rehearsal lasts a bit longer than usual since we goof off a few times. No surprises there. Our stage manager doesn't even complain, he's used to it by now.

We're going through our second last song and I glance at my watch as Liam does his solo. It's already past four. Lily should be here by now. I know I shouldn't worry. I told her that she could take all the time she needed since the show doesn't even start until seven.

We sing the end of 'Story of My Life' and I sing the last line before the song ends.

Maybe I do start feeling a little bit worried. I thought that Lily would be able to see at least a little bit of rehearsal. I glance at my watch again. I hope she woke up. She should-


I snap my head towards the sound of her voice and a smile immediately spreads across my face when I see her.

She's entering through the middle of the stadium and her smile beams up at me as she quickly makes her way towards me. About halfway through, her smile widens and she starts to jog and I hop off the stage to meet her before she jumps into my arms. I hold her tight, lifting her off of the ground and spin her around.

"You made it," I say as I put her back on the ground and lean back so I can look at her.

"I told you I would. Sorry I'm a bit late. There was a lot of traffic along the way."

"No worries. I'm glad you're here now."

"Harry. Let's go. Last song," our stage manager says.

"Stay here. We just have one more song," I tell her.

We exchanged smiles before I reluctantly pull away and walk back up on stage. She walks over to Louise and Lux and they stand in the middle of the floor as they watch us.

The intro of 'Best Song Ever' starts and I feel the adrenaline being caused by the music and the view of Lily in front of me fill my body.

I move to the front of the stage, right in front of Lily as I get ready for my opening solo.

"Maybe it's the way she walked," I sing, keeping eye contact with her.

I place my hand over my heart. "Straight into my heart and stole it. Through the door and past the guards just like she already owned it."

I wink at her before I move away from the front as Zayn starts his solo. Lily laughs as I start doing my favourite dance moves, including some of the synchronized ones that I do with Niall. During the chorus, I almost mess up when I see Lily pick up Lux, Lily's eyes brightening as she looks at her and starts dancing with her.

My imagination takes over as I imagine Lily holding our own child as they watch me on stage. I know I'm in way over my head thinking about having children already but the sight in front of me brings my imagination to new heights.

Lily sings along to the last chorus as she continues to dance with Lux in her arms. Zayn sings the finishing lines and I still can't take my eyes off of her.

God, I wish I could see this every day, for every show.

The songs ends and I hop off of the stage and walk over to Lily.

"You were great up there," she says as she leans her head up, asking for a kiss. I don't hesitate to give her one but make sure it's quick as I think about the child in her arms.

"Thanks, baby." I stand beside her and wrap my arm around her shoulders. "Let's go backstage."

I guide her to our room backstage where we relax before the show. Lily puts Lux back down before Lux starts running around. I take Lily's hand and guide her to the couch and sit down beside her.

"Well, you look well and rested." I wrap my arm around her shoulder again and she leans against me.

"I had a wonderful nap. Marshmallow is a very good sleeping buddy. Way better than you."

I grin as I nudge her stomach, making her flinch and squeal.

"I might have to find a new home for him, then. I can't be having him trying to steal my girl."

Lily snorts at my lame joke and tries to push herself away from me but I tighten my grip around her.

"You're so embarrassing," she laughs. "Get away from me."

She tries to push herself away again but this time, I wrap both of my arms around her as I laugh with her. We both stop when Lux walks up to us, stealing our attention.

"Can I play with your hair?" she asks Lily.

Lily smiles at Lux as I let go of her.

"Of course you can, sweetie."

"Harry, it's your turn," Louise shouts out to me from the chair in front of the mirror. She just finished doing Niall's hair and now it's my turn.

"I'll be right back," I lean in and give her a quick kiss before I get up and make my way to Louise. I ask her if I can face the other way, towards Lily and Lux so I can watch them. Lily sits sideways on the couch as Lux stands up behind her and plays with her hair.

She really is just like her mum.

"You have pretty hair," Lux says.

Lily's smile widens even though Lux can't see her.

"You have very pretty hair, too," she replies.

I laugh when Lily grimaces and mouths a silent 'ow' when Lux tries to brush her tiny fingers through a tangle in her hair.

"Lux, sweetie, be careful," Louise says from behind me. "Here. Use one of mummy's brushes."

I watch Lux jump down from the couch before she walks over to us and takes the brush from her mum. She walks back to a smiling Lily and resumes her position behind her. She starts brushing her hair as Lily just sits there patiently.

"You're very good, Lux. Just like your mum," Lily says to Lux.

I smile again. Everything Lily does makes me smile.

"She's a keeper, Harry," Louise says quietly from behind me, loud enough for only me to hear. "Don't let her get away."

My smile widens. Even though I don't really look for other people's acceptance of mine and Lily's relationship from anyone else, when people express their thoughts willingly, it makes me happy inside. It means so much more when it comes from people who are closest to me.

Just like my mum, Gemma, the lads, and now Louise - even Lux who seems to really like her already - it reinforces the fact that Lily truly is the one for me.

"Don't worry, Lou. I don't ever plan to."



Omg I love writing in Harry's POV <3<3<3 Please comment and vote! You guys voted so fast for the last chapter, that's why I made this chapter so fast lol 35 votes and 15 comments! More votes and comments (especially long ones) means faster updates! Thanks for reading!
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