Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


114. Puppies

Lily’s POV

Harry parks the car in front of the pet shelter and I unbuckle my seatbelt. I put my hand on the door handle, about to open it.

“Wait, wait, wait!”

I jump slightly at Harry’s voice before I turn my head to look at him. He says nothing as he gets out of the car and I just watch him as he walks around the front and to my door.

I look at him through the window in amusement, my eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion as he opens the door and holds out his hand to me.

I take his hand and step out of the car, closing it behind me as I continue to look up at him.

“What?” he asks.

“What the hell was that?” I laugh. He lets go of my hand so I can take the keys to keep in my bag.

He reaches for my hand and he hooks his index and middle finger into mine to hold before we walk side-by-side towards the building. I smile down at it, finding it amusing how my entire hand still looks small clasped around just two of his fingers.

“Am I not allowed to be a gentleman and help my lovely girlfriend out of my car?”

I laugh and lean against his arm, taking my free hand and lightly grasping his wrist.

“My apologies. Thank you, kind sir.”

He just smiles and shakes his head as we reach the door. He opens it, letting me walk in first, still keeping his hand in mine. We walk up to the front desk and we’re greeted by a middle-aged woman who smiles up at us.

“Good morning. How can I help you?”

“Hi,” I say. “We’re looking to adopt a dog. A puppy, preferably.”

She nods. “Alright. Is there a particular breed that you’re looking for.”

“No, not really,” I reply. “We were just hoping to look around and see if there’s one that we like.”

“Of course. I’ll have someone show you around.”

I smile and nod. “Thank you.”

She excuses herself and disappears behind a door. I turn in my spot and lean against Harry, placing my free hand on his chest.

“I hope we find one.”

He lifts his free hand and brushes my hair behind me ear. “Me, too. But I don’t think we’ll be able to bring him or her home today. We’ll be away this weekend and we’ll be busy, too.”

I stick my bottom lip out, pouting up at him. “You’re right. Well, hopefully we can at least pick one today. I want to start picking out names and buy his or her bed and their leash. Oh, and cute little outfits!”

He grimaces at me. “We are not making our dog wear ridiculous outfits. He or she will be picked on by the other dogs.”

“No, they won’t.”

Harry opens his mouth to say something but we both turn our heads when we see a flash of light from the window.

Three men with cameras are standing outside, taking pictures of us non-stop. Of course they would find out we’re here.

Harry keeps me in his arms but he turns us around so he’s completely blocking me from their view, his back the only thing they can see.

I smile up at him before I stand up on his tiptoes and give him and quick kiss. Harry just looks down at me as we pull away and when I stand back on my feet, he leans down and gives me another kiss.

A soft smile graces his lips when I pull away. I wait for him to say something, wondering why he just continues to look at me, his eyes darting back and forth between mine.

“What?” I finally ask.

He turns his head slightly, his eyes bright and his smile slightly widening.


I furrow my eyebrows, knowing that he’s lying. I can tell when he’s in his own thoughts. I’m about to ask him more about it but I hear someone walking up behind me.

I turn around and start to take a step to the side to stand beside Harry but he places his hands on my shoulders, making me stay put in my spot in front of him.

The woman walks up with another woman trailing behind her.

“This is Sandra. She will bring you to the back and show you the dogs.”

Harry and I thank her and we follow Sandra through the door. We walk through a small hallway and it’s not long before the sound of barks and the click of multiple paws is heard through a door.

As soon as we step inside the room and I see the dogs, my heart melts and I bring my hands up to cover my mouth.

“I was told that you’re looking for puppies. These dogs up here are at least one year old. The puppies that we have are around the back. Did you want to go straight away?”

I nod. “Yes, please.”

As much as I wanted to play with every dog here, I’m more excited to see the puppies and pick one out with Harry.

I grow more excited once I see the squeaks and little yelps and we turn the corner and we’re met with a crowd of excited puppies.

“Oh my gosh, they’re adorable!”

I walk up to the short wall separating us from them and they all stumble over to me. There’s abut eight of them and they all start bumping into each other and even climbing on top of each other.

“All of these puppies are golden retrievers. They’re all siblings and they’re two weeks old. The owner of their mother dropped them off the day they were born and they really want us to look for good homes for them.”

I look over at her and smile.

“You two seem like you’ll take great care of one of them,” she says, returning my smile.

“Can we go in?” I ask.

She nods. “Of course. I’ll give you two some time with them. Just call me if you need me.”

“Thank you,” harry says from behind me.

She gives us one last smile before she turns around and walks away.

“Harry, let’s go in!”

He laughs as he stands beside me. He holds his hand out and I take it, using him as support as I step over the wall. I carefully step inside, making sure that I don’t step on any of the puppies, especially since they follow my every move.

Harry steps in after me and the puppies start shoving each other and climb on our feet, yelping and squeaking at us.

Harry takes my hand again and we carefully sit down on the ground.

“Oh my gosh. I’m going to die,” I say. About half of them crawl over to me and the other half to Harry. They all climb into my lap, stumbling over their tiny feet.

“Babe, can we take all of them?”

Harry laughs. “Let’s see you try to take care of eight puppies while I’m on tour.”

“Excuse me, you would take four of them with you and I’ll take care of the other four.”

“I would love to but I think we can only handle one for now.”

I pout. “But we’d be separating them from their brother and sisters.”

“I’m sure they’ll all find lovely homes. They said they’d make sure they find good homes for all of them. And we’ll try and visit them when we can.”

I continue to pout. “How about two?”

I pick up two puppies in my hands and hold them up beside my face as I pout at Harry.

“Lily,” he scolds. “We decided on one and we’re going to stick with that.”

“But, babe…how are we going to choose just one?”

I put them back down and I take another one in my hands and pet it.

“Eenie meenie miney mo.”

I laugh. “Harry, I’m being serious.”

“Hm, let’s try this.” He takes one and holds it out in front of him, talking to the puppy before he hands him over to me and I do the same. We do that for all of the puppies and for the last puppy, as soon as Harry picks it up, the puppy starts licking his nose when Harry holds it up to his face.

He hands the puppy over to me and it does the same to me, tickling me as it licks my nose.

“I think we have a winner,” Harry says beside me.

I hug the puppy to my chest. “I love him. Or her.”

I look down at the puppy and see it biting at my hair and trying to claw at it.

“I want this one,” I exclaim.

Harry reaches over and pets the puppy. “Me, too. Are we sure?”

I nod quickly. “Yes. Yes. Yes!”

Harry smiles and leans in. I lean it to close the distance and place my lips on his. I hear a shutter sound and I look over to see Harry holding out his phone.

He takes another pictures, both of us looking at the camera this time, the puppy in between us.

We pull away and I look back down at it.

I want to find out if it’s a boy or a girl so I can stop calling it “it”.

“I’ll go call her. Stay here.”

I nod before he stands up and hops over the wall. I continue to pet the puppy. I can’t get enough of it. A minute later, Harry comes back with Sandra.

I stand up carefully, keeping it in my hands.

“So, I’m told that you’re going to adopt this one?” she asks.

I nod. “Yes. We both fell in love.”

She smiles at me at the puppy.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” I ask.

I pass her the puppy and Harry helps me over the wall as she looks underneath.

“It’s a girl.”

My smile widens and Harry puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him.

“Harry told me that you won’t be able to bring her home today. I told him that it’s actually better that you pick her up next week since she still needs a few more shots.”

I nod. “That’s alright. You can just call us when everything’s ready. We don’t have any of her things yet so we’ll get everything ready first.”

“That’s perfect. Alright, well, we can fill out the papers for now so you don’t have to bother with them when you come back. Is that alright?”

I nod. “Sure.”

“Just meet me up at the front. I’ll just put her in the other room to get checked by the vet.”

We follow her back out to the hallway before she goes into another room and we continue our way to the front desk.

The woman at the desk hands us a pile of papers and Harry and I sit at the chairs to fill them all out. We hand them back to her as soon as we finish and we thank them before we turn around and head for the door.

When I look out the window, I realize that there’s a whole crowd outside. Paparazzi and fans.

Harry doesn’t even stop. He just walks through the door with determination, keeping my hand in his and my body close. The flashes immediately go off. Shouts are shot our way, questions from the paparazzi and the fans screaming to get Harry’s attention.

However, his attention focuses on getting both of us to his car. He carefully pushes through the crowd until we reach it. He opens my door quickly and waits until I’m safe inside before he closes it. I watch him as he makes his way around the front, his path being filled with the crowd.

I grow slightly nervous when he struggles to get through but soon enough, he reaches his door and gets in the car. Slowly, he inches out of the parking lot until we’re finally able to turn onto the road.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine. Are you okay, though?” I really am a little bit worried after watching him have to get through that crowd. I honestly don’t know how he does that so calmly.

He reaches over and takes my hand, giving me a quick smile. “I’m fine.” He leans in and places a quick kiss on my forehead before the light turns green. “We’ll get a quick bite and then we’ll head to the stadium?”

I nod. “Yeah, sure.”

Just like I always do, I play with his fingers as he drives. I place my palm against his, comparing the huge difference in size.

I laugh lightly, catching his attention.

“What?” he chuckles.

“Your hand is huge!” I laugh.

“Or maybe your hand is just really tiny.”

I playfully glare at him and slap his hand away but he just grabs for it and clasps our fingers.

“And you know what they say about guys with big hands…” He smirks, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Yeah, they have a big ego to go with it,” I tease.

I laugh out loud when he lets go of my hand and pinches my side, making me flinch.

“You’re funny,” he says sarcastically.

I take his hand again when I finally calm down.

“So, are you excited to meet my friends?”

Harry had told me that my friends could hang out with us backstage before the show, adding the fact that he wanted to meet them. I thought I was fine with it before but as it comes closer to that moment, I start to get a little nervous. I know everything will be civilized and even though Harry’s worked hard on his jealousy, I know that he still has some left in him.

“Of course. Especially that ex of yours. Mark, right?”

I know he was joking even when I see the smirk on his face.

“Behave, Harry, or someone’s going to be getting the silent treatment tonight.”

“Excuse me. I will be the perfect gentleman that I always am.”

Harry pulls into a plaza and waits in line at a drive thru. He turns to me and I narrow my eyes at him.

“I’m serious. I just got you back. I don’t want to fight with you.”

He sighs before he leans in closer to me, our faces only inches away from each other.

“I promise. I honestly just want to meet them. I can tell they’re good people. You don’t have to worry, okay?”

I can tell he’s being genuine. It’s not the fact that I’m worried about him starting anything tonight, I just don’t want to ruin our time together.


I’m about to lean in to kiss him but the car behind us honks at us, making up jump. I’m about to pull away but Harry pulls me in and gives me a quick kiss. He pulls away before he moves up the drive thru. He orders us food and as we head to the venue, I feed him as he drives.

I hold back my smile when I dip a fry in the ketchup and bring it up to his mouth. He opens his mouth and I “accidentally” hit it against his cheek.

I laugh at the look on his face and the smudge of ketchup on his cheek.

“Oops, sorry.”

“Oops, my arse. You did that on purpose!”

“I did not!” I say, still laughing.

“Wipe it off!”

“Okay, okay. Calm down.” I start to look for a napkin but I realize that we had used them all when he had dropped a tomato from his burger onto his lap.

“Sorry, babe, we don’t have any more napkins. Just use your hand and wipe it off.”

“Or you can just lick it off,” he smirks.

“Hell, no. That’s disgusting.”

“You had no problem licking off whipped cream off my body that one time.” His smirk widens as he stops at a stoplight and looks at me.

“That’s cause it was whipped cream. Completely different from ketchup.”

“Oh, come on. You know you’ll like it no matter what.”

I roll my eyes but I know that he’s right. I would probably lick anything off his body.

I shake my head, ridding of my crazy thoughts before I look back at him.

He’s just smiling at me like a goof and I just sigh, deciding to just get it over with.

I grab the other side of his neck and pull him to me. He turns away, letting me get a clear view of the mess on his cheek. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, sticking out my tongue and licking his cheek.

I grimace slightly at the sour taste but it quickly disappears. I stay in my spot even as Harry starts to drive again.

“Thank you, baby. See? That wasn’t so hard.”

I’m about to pull away to give him a witty comeback but a better idea comes to mind. I lean in again and place a light kiss on his jaw. I can feel him tense at my touch and it only spurs me on.

I move down and place my lips on his neck, kissing, sucking and licking gently, just enough to get him worked up.

“Lily,” he says breathily.

I just smile against his skin before I pull away slightly, only to move further back to his ear. I kiss the spot behind it before I take it in between my teeth and bite down.

Harry hisses and I even feel the car swerve slightly.

“Lily, stop, or I’m going to crash the car.”

I smile in triumph before I lean back to look at him. He’s completely flustered as he focuses on driving.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he says shakily. “But that doesn't mean we won’t continue this later.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Hm, well what if I don’t want to wait for later?”

I don’t know what’s come over me but this little tease game not only worked on Harry but it worked on me too. It’s been five weeks since we’ve been together. Five weeks since that amazing night…

I don’t know why we haven’t had s.ex yet now that he’s back. I thought I would’ve jumped him as soon as we got back to my flat. Unfortunately, our tiredness had ruined that opportunity.

Harry turns to me, a hint of desire flashing in his eyes before he turns back to the road.

“Are you suggesting car s.ex, Ms. Lily Benson?”

I bite my lip as I stare at his. “Maybe. I mean, I know it’s going to be hard, especially since there are people with cameras everywhere we go.”

That dampened my excitement slightly. I know it’d be fun but it would definitely not be fun if someone appeared outside the car and started taking pictures.

I would never take that risk.

“Hm, well, we can work something out for that when we go to my place.”

Just like that, I’m excited once again.

“I didn’t know you were into that,” he says.

I blush slightly.

“Don’t be shy about it. I’m more than happy to fulfill your sexual fantasies.”

“Harry,” I whine, smacking his arm when he laughs at me.

“I’m kidding. But I honestly don’t mind.” He turns to me and smirks again. “At all.”

“How about you?” I ask. “Any s.exual fantasies that I can fulfill?”

I smirk when I see his breathing deepen slightly.


I watch as he gets nervous, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. I wait patiently, knowing that I would feel nervous talking about this, too.

“What is it?”

“I, um…well, I only started thinking about this after you visited me in Peru but…I, um…I’ve kinda wanted to do it with you…backstage before one of our shows.”

My heart thumps as I hear his words. I’ve honestly thought about it, too, but never had the courage to bring it up to Harry because I was worried that he would think I was crazy. I know how important his job is to him. I know he always stays professional so I didn’t know if he would even think about it.

But now that he’s said it, my excitement for it is through the roof now. He turns to me, his eyes slightly wide as he bites his lip.

I smile at him and lean in. “Well, I’m sure we can take care of that tonight.”


Sorry for the long wait guys but yeah I've been busy but I was also dealing with something a few days ago. But i'm okay now, i promise.

Anyways, for the dog's name, someone gave me a really good idea. I know I said it would be a boy dog but someone suggested one for a boy but it gave me a good idea for a girl's name. You'll understand when I write it lol. So yeah, it'll be a girl dog.

Also, I'm going on a trip for a week tomorrow and i'm not sure if i'll write but i kinda wanted to take a nice break. I'm not sure if i'm even going to bring my laptop. But i'll be back next Saturday night so i'll try to write then.

ALSO! Like i messaged people on kik, I'm going to have a contest! And the prize is:


I got 10 solo DMs a couple of weeks ago and i wanted to give something back to you guys for what you've done for my story.

So, the person who leaves the best comment will get a solo DM. I will give one away every few chapters including this one. I will message the winner sometime next week :)

So comment comment comment!

40 votes and 15 comments before the next chapter! Thanks for reading :)

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