Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


141. Playful

Lily's POV

"I'm not sick!"

"Yes, you are!" I reply with a laugh. "Now stop whining and take the medicine. We need to get your fever down."

As soon as we had come home last night, he went straight to bed. I didn't think that it was because he was getting sick. He didn't even remember the fact that I promised him a shower kiss.

I stand beside the bed as he lies underneath the covers. I had woken up this morning feeling Harry extremely hot and covered in sweat. It was a struggle to wake him up and even when I did, he was completely drowsy and struggled to stay awake.

I had taken his temperature and once I saw how high it was, I quickly got out of bed to look through his medicine cabinet and, now, here we are.

He grumbles as he sits up and takes the two pills from me. He pops them into his mouth and I hand him a glass of water. He washes the pills down in two big gulps before I take the glass back from him and place it on the bedside table as he lies back down.

I sit on the edge of the bed beside him and take the cool washcloth I had grabbed from the bathroom and carefully wipe it across his face. His eyes flutter shut but then I see him shiver and pull the blanket tighter around him.

"I'm so cold," he stutters.

I feel so helpless. I wish there was something I could do. I hate seeing him like this.

"I know, baby. I'll get you another blanket but you need to tell me if you get too hot because it could make things worse. Okay?"

All he does is nod, not even opening his eyes.

I leave the room and walk down the hall to the linen closet. I grab two of his thickest blankets and bring them back to Harry. I take one of them and place it over him, tucking him in carefully before I sit back on the edge of the bed beside him.

I watch his shallow breaths and his constant shivers and I just want to cry. He was worried about me getting sick from staying at our spot too long but now he's the one that's gotten sick. I just hope it won't get worse.

I take the rag and rinse it in the basin of lukewarm water and wipe it across his face again, cleaning up the sweat. I rinse the rag one more time before I fold it up and place it on his forehead.

I brush my fingers through his hair, pulling away the hair that had matted onto his skin from the excess sweat.

I know that he needs to eat something so I decide to make him soup. I carefully stand up from the bed but I barely take a step when Harry grabs my hand.

"Where are you going?" he says weakly. "Stay."

I sit back down and brush my fingers through his hair again, watching his eyes open slightly.

"I'm just going to make you some soup, okay? You need to eat something."

He shakes his head slowly. "No. I'm okay. Just stay with me."

I smile at his stubbornness. "I'll be really quick. Just try and sleep and I'll come back up once it's finished."

I can tell he's struggling to keep his eyes open. At least it means that he'll eventually go to sleep.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

He only mumbles in response, which I take as a 'yes', as he finally closes his eyes and settles back on the pillow.

I quietly but quickly walk out of the room, not risking Harry persuading me into staying. I walk downstairs and to the kitchen, heading straight to the pantry to look for anything that can make soup.

I have no idea how to cook soup from scratch so I am absolutely grateful when I see a box of instant noodle soup. I take it and place it on the counter before I grab a pot and fill it up with water, following the instructions from the box.

As I wait for the water to boil, I make the both of us a cup of tea. I turn on the sound system but keep it at a low volume to make sure that it doesn't wake Harry. When a John Mayer song starts, I notice that the water is finally boiling and I add in the mixture.

Suddenly, as I'm stirring it, I hear footsteps coming towards me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion when I turn around and see Harry trudging up to me, pale and tired eyes, and a blanket clutched tightly around his entire body.

"Harry! What are you doing out of bed?" My eyes widen in concern, worried that he's going to pass out any second or fall over.

"I woke up and you weren't there," he mutters, walking right up to me. He can't take his arms out of the blanket so I just gently place mine around him.

He must've not heard me when I had told him that I would make him soup. Either that or he didn't understand me.

"I'm just making you some soup." I turn him around and lead him to the living room. "Come on. You need to sit down, at least."

I help him to sit down on the couch and I place the back of my hand against his forehead, checking his temperature. It doesn't seem to have gone down even a little bit but at least he's not getting hotter.

"Stay here, Harry. I mean it. The soup is almost done. I'll be back in a second."

He gives me a simple nod before I quickly walk back to the kitchen. I continue to stir the soup, waiting until the noodles are done before I grab a bowl and pour some into it. Along with our tea, I carefully bring it to the living room to see Harry clutching one of the pillows against his chest as he lays his head on it with his eyes closed.

I place everything on the coffee table and sit down beside him.

"Harry, love." I brush the back of his neck, coaxing him from his possible sleep.

He mumbles, his eyes opening slowly.

"Did you want some soup? It'll be good for you."

I'm not sure how his appetite is right now. I just know that he needs something in his stomach. Thankfully, he nods and sits up. I take the bowl and hold it up to him, taking the spoon and start feeding him. Surprisingly, he eats all of it, albeit slowly but at least he ate at all.

I place the bowl back on the table before looking back at Harry.

"How are you feeling?"

He gives me a weak smile. "I'm okay. Much better now. Thank you."

I return his smile and start to gently massage his neck again.

"Did you need anything else?"

He shakes his head. "Just you."

"Don't worry. I can stay with you now. But I think you should go back to bed."

Again, he shakes his head. "I don't want to move. Let's just stay here and we can watch a movie."

I sigh, knowing that I won't be able to persuade him to get out of this couch now.

"Fine but you need to try and sleep, okay?"

"I promise."

I give him one more look before I stand up and put in a movie. I decide on Love Actually to get us in the Christmas spirit. I sit on the end of the couch and hold out my hand to Harry.

"Lie down on my lap."

He looks at with worriedly. "I might get you sick."

I roll my eyes with a smile. "It's fine, babe. At least we'll be sick together. Now, come on, before I change my mind and force you to go back to bed."

He happily obliges, lying down on my lap as I try to fix the blanket over him. Once he's comfortable, I start the movie.

I brush my hand through his hair and give him a kiss on his head before I focus on the movie.

I take occasional glances at Harry as I'm watching and every time, I see his eyes start to droop more and more until he finally falls asleep not even halfway through.

I decide to watch the rest, knowing that I can't even move from my spot, not that I even want to. I'm surprisingly comfortable right now.

I guess that's why I find myself getting sleepy near the end of the movie. I rest my head against the armrest and I wrap my arm around him. I try to finish the rest of the movie but my eyes close before it does.

After what feel like just a few minutes, I wake when Harry coughs loudly. I sit up straight and look down at him with worry.

He continues to cough, covering his mouth with his fist and I know right away that he's not getting better any time soon.

"Babe, are you okay?"

I get only a cough in response.

"Come on. You really need to go back to bed. I'll get some cough medicine, as well."

I help him to sit up before I go back to the kitchen and look inside the medicine cabinet. I had seen cough medicine as I was looking for the Tylenol earlier. I grab it, along with a spoon before I rush back to the living room.

I pour out the exact measurement and Harry takes it without complaint. Without even bothering to clean up, I stand up and help Harry. He stands up and I wrap my arm around his waist and lead him upstairs.

It's a struggle but we finally make it back to his room. I carefully maneuver him back into bed, fixing the blankets over him.

Once again, his eyes are closed and he gives a couple more coughs before he settles in bed.

"Did you need anything, babe?"

He takes my hand and weakly pulls me. "Just stay with me, please. Stay with me while I sleep."

I smile even though he can't see me. There's nothing I'd rather do right now than to stay with him and let him sleep. I just want him to feel better.

"Alright. Just promise me that you'll let me know right away if you need anything, okay?"

He nods. "I promise. Just come here already."

I laugh softly as I crawl over him carefully and lie down beside him on the other side. I slide under the blankets, the warmth from the multiple blankets and from his body instantly engulfing me in heat.

Not even worried about getting sick, I lie down right beside him, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me right against his warm body, feeling it through his sweater he's wearing.

Even though he's weak, he tightens his arms around me and I feel him place a kiss on the top of my head.

"Thank you for taking care of me."

I smile as I rest my head on his shoulder. "It's nothing, Harry. I just want you to get better. Now sleep."

"You know, they say that the best way to get rid of a fever to sweat it out. I have a pretty good idea how we can do that."

I laugh and lightly smack his chest. Trust Harry to still be completely cheeky even when he's sick.

"Shut it. Sleep now or I'm going to go back downstairs."

"I was talking about exercising. I don't know what you're talking about."

I roll my eyes. "Sure, babe. Now, seriously, sleep."

"Yes, ma'am. Just please stay."

I settle more against him, burying my face a little more into the crook of his neck as I close my eyes. He gives me one more kiss on my head and pulls me even closer.

"I'll stay. I promise."


"Lily?" Harry's voice shouts from upstairs.

"I'm downstairs, babe!" I finish wrapping Niall's present and place a sticker on the top. As I'm writing Niall's name, Harry comes downstairs.

It's been two days since he's gotten sick and he's gotten better. He doesn't have a fever anymore but he still has a cough and cold. He also has a lot more energy now. He's back to his normal goofy self.

I look up at him and smile as he walks up to me and sits down on the floor beside me. The scent of his shower gel enters my nostrils and I take a glance at his damp hair. I was tempted to take a shower with him but I knew that I had to start on the gift wrapping. It's Christmas in a bit over two weeks and we have to send the gifts off soon to make sure that they make it to everyone on time.

"I told you to wait for me," he says, taking Niall's gift from my hands.

"And I told you that I would handle the wrapping. Do you not remember having to ask Niall to wrap the gifts you got me while you were in South America?"

He grins. "That's cause it was sweaters. I can handle wrapping boxes."

I raise an eyebrow at him, unable to hide my smile. "Alright, then. Let's see." I look around and find Louis' gift. "Here, wrap Lou's. I'm sure he won't mind it being wrapped horribly."

"Hey! Don't judge before you see it." He chuckles, taking the box from me. "Wait. I still need to put our names on Niall's."

He takes the pen from the floor and places Niall's gift in his lap. I lean over, resting my chin on his shoulder as I watch him write.

Love, Harry and Lily

A smile erupts on my face as I read it. It's four simple words but it's incredibly special. Seeing our names together is just another reminder of how strong our relationship is. I didn't even do this with Marcus in our two years of being together. If that doesn't mean something, I don't know what does.

We may have been dating for only three months – not including when we were first together during the summer – but time doesn't define our relationship. Giving gifts together and seeing our names together doesn't seem weird or too soon. It seems perfectly natural.

"My name goes first because I'm the better one."

I roll my eyes but my smile never leaves my face. Trust Harry to say something like this while I'm thinking about how special this is to me. However, I know deep down that Harry's feeling the exact same as I am.

"Why don't we let your wrapping skills decide that?"

The both of us start wrapping, Christmas music playing over Harry's fancy sound system. I keep an eye on him occasionally but by the time that he's on his third gift, I finally realize that he's actually good at it. I'm surprised but at the same time, not surprised. He always managed to for things like this.

"Well, I gotta say. You're a lot better than I thought you would be."

"I can't believe you didn't have any faith in me," he replies, playfully shaking his head. "I got these wrapping skills from my mum."

"Well, remind me to thank her for saving me a lot of wrapping time."

I laugh as he throws a bunch of rolled up scrap paper at me. I continue wrapping but Harry seems to get tired of it so he decides to just be in charge of labeling the gifts after I pass them to him.

As I'm wrapping the last one, Harry just sits there in boredom, leaning back on his hands and lolling his head back and forth. After I place the last piece of tape, I place a sticker on it and I'm about to put 'Mrs. Twist' but then I realize how weird that would be.

"Put Mum. She'll love it." Harry smiles at me, seeming to notice my hesitance.

I write down exactly what he says and then end it with 'Love, Harry and Lily'.

I smile as I look at it before I place it with the others.

"You forgot one more."

I look over and see Harry sitting there with a bow stuck on the top of his head.

I playfully roll my eyes before I crawl over to him and swing my leg over his thighs, straddling him. I hang my arms loosely on his shoulders as he continues to lean back on his hands, grinning back at me.

"I don't think I'll be able to wait until Christmas to unwrap you."

"You're more than welcome to right now, if you'd like. I don't mind."

I lean in and place my lips on his, giving him a lingering kiss. Ever since he's gotten sick, he would refuse to kiss me but only because he didn't want to get me sick. However, by now, he's given up on trying to stop me. I don't care if I get sick. I'd risk it rather than go days without kissing him.

I slide my hands back to cup both sides of his face and I press my chest against his as he sits up straighter, his hands sliding across my waist.

I deepen the kiss slightly, gently tugging on his bottom lip as I reluctantly pull away.

I gasp for breath as I attempt to lean away but Harry's arms tighten around me, keeping me pressed against him. Even though I had stopped the kiss, he quickly takes matters into his own hands and quickly presses his lips to my neck.

"Harry...we...we nee...we should put the...the tree up," I gasp in between breaths.

This is another thing that we needed to finish today. Even though we're not spending Christmas here, Harry and I really want to put up his tree. We're still going to spend the holidays here so it's only right to have one up and what better way than to put it up together.

However, it seems like Harry has something else in mind that he'd rather do.

He doesn't seem to listen to me because his lips only press harder and suck harsher against my skin. Suddenly, he swipes out his tongue and I let out a little giggle at the sensation.

I attempt to push him away but I have no chance against him. I never have.

As soon as I had giggled, his hands had glided back to the sides of my hips and before I can stop him, his fingers dig into my skin and I burst out in laughter.

"Harry, stop it!"

He starts to laugh against my neck, only tickling me even more.

"I'm serious!" I shout but he doesn't relent. "Stop! I mean it! Harry!" I shriek.

He only tickles me more, making me laugh even louder until tears start to form in my eyes.

"Harry!" I cry in between laughs. "Stop. My stomach hurts!"

Finally, he stops, pulling away to look at me with a huge smile on his face.

I catch my breath and hold my hand to my stomach, feeling my abdominal muscles burn as I do. I glare at him and lightly slap his cheek.

"I hate you. You know how much I hate being tickled."

"Exactly why I do it. OW!"

I pinch his ear and tug slightly but the grin never leaves his face.

"You're such a sweetheart, aren't you?" I say, unable to hide my smile. "I took care of you these past few days and this is how you treat me?"

"Don't worry, baby. I have something else in mind to repay you once I get better."

He smirks at me and I instantly know what he means. However, all I can do is playfully roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Looking forward to it, babe," I say, half-sarcastic, half-serious. "Cheeky." I lightly slap his cheek again. "Cheeky." Another. "Cheeky." And one more.

He makes a show of attempting to bite my hand but I pull it away.

"You're feisty today," he growls.

I lean in a give him a quick kiss to reciprocate for my gentle hits and he only smiles.

"Now, can we please put the tree up?"

He nods. "Yes, we can."

I stand up and as soon as I turn around, Harry slaps my bum. I gasp, turning to face him and see a smirk present on his face again.

I swing my leg at him with no intention of actually hitting him but he grabs my ankle and pulls me down. I scream as I fall but I laugh with him when he crawls over me.

The both of us seem to be in a overly playful mood today but I'm not complaining. Harry doesn't seem to be, either.

"I don't think that tree will be up as fast as I'm hoping it will be," I say with a huge smile plastered on my face.

"I don't think so, either."

And as soon as he leans down and presses his lips against mine, I know that statement will be completely true.

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