Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


14. Party Crashers

Harry’s POV

“They’re gonna be so pissed,” I laughed. Louis was being Louis and decided for all of us that we would join the girls at the club. I remember Lily specifically saying that none of us were allowed there tonight so I was actually looking forward to seeing their reactions when we get there.

“Oh, I know they are. But I’m pretty sure they’ll be happy to see us at the end of the day,” Louis replied.

“They see you guys enough already. That’s probably why they didn’t want you there in the first place,” Niall said as we all hopped into Louis’ car.

I laughed, noticing I was the only one, therefore, earning glares from Louis, Zayn and Liam.

“Just get in the car, Horan,” Louis said.

As Louis drove us to the club, I couldn’t help but feel the excitement growing inside of me at the thought that I’m able to see Lily again. It’s been almost four days since I last saw her.

We arrived the club, got out of the car and headed in. We all looked around the club, heading to the VIP section that Perrie had reserved for them. However, on our way there, we saw them standing off to the side of the mass of people moving along to the music.

I nudged Louis and pointed over to the girls before we headed in their direction. I couldn’t see Lily, I could only see the back of Perrie, Eleanor and Sophia. But once we were only a few feet away from them, they all moved, allowing me to see Lily for the first time tonight.

Our eyes locked, my breath hitching in my throat as I took her in. She was wearing the sexiest, red dress I have ever seen on a girl. It accentuated her curves perfectly, her hair swaying as she turned to face us, the lights of the club reflecting off of her glistening hair.

Perrie crossed her arms as we reached them and gave Zayn a stern look. But then, Zayn held onto her waist and whispered into her ear, causing her expression to soften before it slowly turn into a smile. Louis and Liam followed suit and went up to Eleanor and Sophia, immediately making their annoyance disappear with quick whispers of sweet nothings into their ears.

I guess Louis was right when he said that they wouldn’t stay mad for long.

Suddenly, Niall cleared his throat.

“Well, I’m gonna get a drink. Wanna come?” he asked me.

I never took my eyes off of Lily as I shook my head. “I’m okay, mate. Maybe later.”

I could see Niall disappearing into the crowd from the corner of my eye before I walked up to Lily, who seemed nervous under my gaze.

I stopped right in front of her and gave her a smile.

“Hey, you. Long time, no see.” I leaned in a bit closer so that I wouldn’t have to shout as much.

Suddenly, I froze as Lily took a step closer, almost closing the small distance between us, and leaning into my ear. Surely, the half-empty drink in her hand had a small part in this bold move. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that the alcohol wasn’t the one to fully blame here.

“Hey. Yeah, I was almost starting to forget what you look like.” We laughed in unison, shivering as I felt her breath tickle my neck.

I decided to do the exact same that she was doing and leaned into her ear.

“Well, I’d never forget your pretty face.”

She leaned back to look at me and I just smiled down at her before she leaned back in.

“Wanna go somewhere more quietly?” she asked.

All I did was nod before she took my hand and led us through the crowd. She guided us up the stairs and towards the VIP section before we took a seat in the small booth in the far corner of the room. It was much more quieter in here but you could still hear the music from below us. I sat down beside her and turned my body towards hers.

She took a sip of her drink before she set it down on the table in front of us.

“I thought I told you no boys allowed.” She smirked at me.

I held my hands up in front of me. “Hey, it was Louis’ idea.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “Uh-huh, okay.”

I smiled at her. “What? You don’t want me here?”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “I didn’t say that. Those are just the rules.”

“Well, rules are made to be broken.”

She looked up at me thoughtfully before she took another sip of her drink.

A really big sip.

Could she tell that there was a much bigger meaning to what I just said? Specifically towards a certain promise I made to Ed.

I decided to order a drink so I waved the waitress over and ordered a rum and coke. It was brought to me minutes later before I paid for it.

I drank half of the glass before placing it beside hers. I just looked at every inch of her face, taking a mental picture and memorizing every small detail as she gazed to the side. Under the dim lights and the spotlights dancing all around the club, her beauty was radiating in a way that I thought wasn’t possible. Just as I was trying to memorize the fullness of her eyelashes, her eyes darted over to meet mine and I blushed as she caught me. It was a good thing that it was dark in here or I’d be worried about her seeing my reddened cheeks.

“You look amazing tonight, Lily.”

Now, it was her turn to blush as she looked down at her hands placed on her lap.

“Thanks. If Ed picked out my dress, I’d be here practically wearing a nun dress.”

I laughed as she finally looked back up at me with a smile.

“I’m sure you’d look good in anything.”

She rolled her eyes, her blush appearing again. “Yeah, sure.”

I was about to argue and say it was true but then Perrie came up to us.

“Lily, there you are! What are you doing here? You should be out there dancing?”

I looked between Perrie and Lily as Lily looked between me and Perrie.

“Me and Harry were just--”

“You and Harry have plenty of time to talk later. Harry, don’t keep her hostage and let her dance,” Perrie scolded. She held out her hand towards Lily. We both stood up.

“You can dance with her, Harry, if you want. I just want her to have fun.”

I started shaking my head. “It’s okay. I don’t really like dancing.”

Lily looked disappointment but she just gave me a small smile.

Perrie shrugged. “Your loss. I’m sure I can find someone else to dance with her.”

My eyes widened as I understood what Perrie meant. I watched them walk away and I quickly followed them. Once we reached the dance floor, Perrie dragged her to the others while I stayed off to the side with my drink in my hand. I saw that Niall had found a girl to dance with and my eyes swept back to the others to see a guy that I have never seen before chatting with Perrie and Lily. I could tell that Perrie was introducing the two of them to each other and it made the grip on my glass tighten.

My jaw tightened as I saw the guy lightly touch her arm before placing it back on his side. I downed the rest of my drink before quickly walking over to the bar to order another. By the time I got my drink, Perrie had left the two alone. I gulped down my drink in one go, feeling the warmth of the alcohol in my stomach before it spread throughout my entire body.

Lily was now chatting with the guy, laughing and touching his arm occasionally.

I should’ve just danced with her.

I ordered another drink, downing it and instantly feeling the buzz.

My heart jumped up to my throat when I saw him whisper in her ear just like I had been doing a while ago before she gave a nervous-looking nod. He took her hand and led them deeper into the crowd.

My anxiety grew as I lost sight of them. As if my body had a mind of it’s own, it instantly moved towards the crowd, in search for Lily. I passed by the group and I could see a hint of a smirk playing on Perrie and Eleanor’s face.

They were planning something, I could tell. But I didn’t bother asking them about it as I made my way through the crowd. I looked for the red of Lily’s dress, my eyes quickly sweeping all around the crowd. My stomach twisted as I saw Lily dancing with the guy.

Jealousy instantly hit me as panic ran through me. They were dancing so close to each other. Too close for my liking. Actually, if it was to my liking, he wouldn’t even be freaking touching her.

I had to stop this.

I pushed my way through the crowd, ignoring the glares I was getting from people. Once I reached them, I carefully grabbed Lily’s arm and pulled her back.

“Mind if I cut in?”

Lily and the guy looked at me. Lily, with wide eyes. The guy, with disbelief.

“Uh, yeah, I do. We’re not finished dancing,” he said, as he went to grab her. But I just pulled her back more into my chest away from him.

I could see anger flash in his eyes but it did nothing to intimidate me one bit.

“Why don’t we let Lily be the judge of that?” I said before softening my eyes as I looked down at Lily.

I watched her expression change from confusion, to excitement, to annoyance, and back and forth, before she looked back at him.

“I’m sorry, Nathan. It was nice to meet you, though.”

I smirked in triumph as his face fell in defeat. He scoffed in annoyance before he turned around and stalked away.

I smiled down at Lily and I was about to take her in my arms to start dancing with her but she just gave me an angry look before she brushed her way past me and back towards the rest of the group.

My heart dropped before I hastily followed after her.

What did I do?

I noticed that the others weren’t where they were minutes ago and she seemed to notice too, because she changed directions and headed towards the stairs. But I walked faster, catching up to her and grabbing her arm. I pulled on it to make her face me and her anger did not decrease since she walked away from me.

Lily’s POV

I noticed that the others weren’t in the spot that they were a while ago so I assumed that they were back in the VIP section. I quickly headed in that direction but I was pulled back as Harry lightly grabbed me. I was turned around to face him and he was looking at me with a worried look.

“What do you want, Harry?” I snapped.

He seemed taken aback by my tone. I had too much to drink, so this was mostly the alcohol talking. But it was partially due to the fact that Harry had stopped me from dancing with Nathan and practically threatened him before he stole me away from him.

He was confusing me tonight.

He was complimenting me back at the booths but then he refused the offer to dance with me and now he just came over and took me away when I was having a great time dancing with Nathan.

Dancing with Nathan meant nothing, I thought nothing more of it than just having a good time. He seemed like a nice guy. I didn’t want to make a scene so when I had to kindly tell him that I didn’t want to dance anymore and when Harry smiled smugly, I had enough.

I wasn’t going to be treated like that.

“What…what did I do?” he asked, worry growing in his features.

“What do you mean ‘what did you do’”? You can’t just do that.”

“Do what?”

I laughed humourlessly. The fact that he didn’t understand what he just did made my annoyance increase.

“Why did you stop me from dancing with him?”

He tensed before he looked away.

“Tell me or I’m leaving.”

Yup, this was definitely the alcohol talking. I would never talk to anyone, especially Harry, like this.

He looked back up at me nervously.

“I…I didn’t want you dancing with anyone,” he muttered.

My eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Why not? This is a club. People dance at clubs, Harry.”

“Yes, I know that. I just didn’t want anyone dancing with you.”

I scoffed. “So you don’t want to dance with me and you don’t want anyone else to dance with me. What? You want me to stand in the corner while I watch everyone have fun?”

“No, that’s not what I wanted.”

“Then tell me, Harry. Because I’m really confused right now.”

But I wasn’t really. I had an idea about Harry’s actions but I didn’t want to make a fool of myself if I was wrong.

“I--I don’t know why I…did that.”

“So you just did it for kicks?”

“No, Lily. I--”

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. “Then why?”

When Harry remained silent, I knew I had enough so I turned around and continued my previous search for the others. But I didn’t take two steps when I felt Harry grab me again, this time pulling more forcefully.

“Harry, just lea--”

I was stopped mid-sentence as Harry slammed his lips against mine. I was frozen at first but when I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and as I tasted the mix of alcohol and mint from his lips, I immediately kissed him back. My hands moved up to rest on his chest as he pulled me closer, our lips moving feverishly against each other’s. My hands trailed up to find their way through his curls as Harry’s tongue traced over my bottom lip.

Harry’s POV

I knew that it was partially the alcohol running through my bloodstream that made me make this risky move but I couldn’t lie to myself and say that I’ve been dying to kiss her since I first saw her tonight.

She was breathtaking and I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t just because of how she looked tonight but it was everything about her. Since I first met her and everything that we’ve done together. Getting to know her, spending time with her, hearing her sing. It was too much. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted her. I needed her.

I snapped back to reality as I felt Lily’s soft lips moving against my own. As I licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance, she pulled back but kept her forehead pressed against mine as we both tried to catch our breaths.

“Harry,” she whispered.

I moved my hand up to her cheek, keeping my eyes closed to remember what her lips felt like in my mind.

“Harry,” she said once again. I opened my eyes and leaned back slightly so that I was able to look into her eyes. She was smiling up at me as she moved one of her hands down to cup my cheek. Out of reflex, I leaned into her touch.

“You’re not going to run away again this time, are you?” she smirked.

I smiled back and lightly shook my head. “No, not this time. And I never plan to ever again.”

Now I took her face in both of my hands as I locked my eyes with hers.

“So, yeah…I did that because…well…because I kinda like you.”

She raised an eyebrow at me with a smirk. “Kinda?”

I chuckled. “Okay, a lot. I like you a lot, Lily.” I could feel my cheeks heating up at my confession.

She smiled at up at me. “Well…I like you a lot, too, Harry.”

My heart swelled, my lips spreading into the biggest smile I have ever had. I pulled her face to mine before lightly placing my lips onto hers once more. This kiss was much more softer than the last but it still made the butterflies go in a frenzy in my stomach. I gave her one last kiss before we pulled back, my arms moving down to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer.

“As much as I enjoyed that, I think we need to sober up before we talk about this.”

I just nodded, knowing she was right. I know that she doesn’t regret this kiss like she did last time. The way she held me after we stopped the kissed proved that. This time was different. With everything we’ve been through since the last kiss, I know that there was much more meaning to this kiss compared to the other one. I know, or at least hope, that once we do sober up and we talk about this, that she doesn’t regret it or think it was a mistake again. I really hope that things will turn out well.

“Can you take me back to Ed’s? I’m getting a bit tired.”

I pulled away but grabbed one of her hands. “Yeah, let’s go.”

I led the way back to the VIP section, finding the others sitting at a couple of booths. They saw us and waved us over. We walked up to them, still hand-in-hand.

I could see Perrie looking at our clasped hands with a smile on her face before she exchanged a knowing look with Eleanor. I dismissed it as Lily spoke up.

“I’m gonna head back, I’m a bit tired. Harry’s going to take me back if that’s okay.”

“Oh, that’s more than okay, love,” Perrie cooed, resting her chin in her hand, giving us an innocent look.

Everyone stood up and we hugged each other goodbye. I hugged Perrie last.

“About time, Styles,” she whispered into my ear. “I was worried that my plan to get you jealous with Lily dancing with that guy wouldn’t work.”

We pulled away and I looked at her, a smile taking over my face. “I knew you had something to do with that.”

“We’ll talk about it next time.” She winked at me before she turned to give Lily a hug.

“See you guys later,” Lily said before she grabbed her clutch from the table. They sat back down at the booths, giving us one last wave before I rested my hand on the small of her back to lead her back downstairs. Once we reached the main floor, I grabbed her hand in mine. We waited at the lobby after I called for a car to come pick us up. Lily rested her head against my chest, her eyes slightly drooping in tiredness. I wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back, soothing her.

I saw the black SUV pulling up to the front and one of our drivers stepping out of the drivers seat before he waited by the side of the car.

“The car’s here,” I said.

Lily pulled back and looked outside. I could see her worriedly looking at the paparazzi waiting outside with their cameras in their hands. Her last encounter with the paparazzi was unpleasant so I know that she was slightly nervous about going out there.

“It’s okay, I’m here. And our driver will help us, too.”

She took a deep breath and nodded before she reached for my hand. I held onto her tightly before we made our way out of the club. The flashes started going off like crazy the second we step foot outside. The obnoxious remarks and questions kept flying out at me and even to Lily as we kept our head down and walked to the car. There were a few girls waiting outside that asked to take pictures but I just wanted to get Lily into the car safely.

I felt bad for not taking pictures with them but they shouldn’t even be hanging out outside of a club at two in the morning anyways.

The car door was already open as we reached it and I helped Lily step in before hopping in after her. The driver closed the door behind me before he slipped into the driver’s seat and maneuvered out of the sea of paparazzi. I gave him Ed’s address and he drove off.

Lily rested her head against my shoulder as I put my arm around her. I could see goosebumps appearing on her arms so I shrugged my jacket off and slipped it through her arms, closing the front for her.

She rested her head against me against as we headed to Ed’s flat.

30 minutes later, we pulled into the front of the building and we got out of the car. I told the driver that I was just going to bring her up to her room. He parked on the side before I took her hand and walked into the building. She opened the front door with her key before we headed to the elevator, taking it up to Ed’s floor and walked over to his flat.

She unlocked it before she walked in. I looked around the room.

“Is Ed here?” I asked.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you? He’s in Paris for the weekend.”

I looked back at her.

“So, you’re home alone?”

I was really worried about her being here by herself, especially at night. I don’t know why but I was just feeling protective towards her.


“Umm…I could…I could crash here if you want…I mean, just in case.”

She smirked at me before she slowly walked up to me. She placed her hands on my chest, looking up at me.

“Are you worried that something bad’s going to happen?”

She traced her finger across my chest, making me tremble under her touch. I swiftly grabbed her wrists, smirking back at her. She could tell what she was doing to me. She could tell that I was melting under her touch. She could tell that she has this control over me just with her presence. With her touch, I’m a goner…

“Let’s get you to sleep. You’re…different when you have alcohol in your system.”

She giggled before she led the way to her room. She took off her shoes before she pulled the covers back and hopped in. I tucked her in, making sure that she was completely covered in the warmth of the blanket.

Her eyes immediately closed and I could see her relaxing towards a peaceful sleep. I bent down to leave a lingering kiss on her forehead before I headed out of her room, closing the door quietly behind me.

I’ll just have to worry about tomorrow…well, tomorrow. I shouldn’t worry about it tonight cause I know that I won’t be able to sleep with the thoughts.

But I know that tomorrow will be good.

At least, I hope.







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