Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


17. Next Step

Lily’s POV

“Good night, Lily,” Harry says for the millionth time since we got off the elevator and he walked me up to the door. Harry took me home and now I’m leaning against the wall beside the door with Harry in front of me, his one arm resting on the wall on top of my head and his other hand on my waist.

“Good night, Harry,” I giggle.

He leans in for yet another kiss and I don’t want them to stop.

“Good night, Lily.” I giggle, the movement of his lips against mine tickling me.

I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck.

“I had an amazing night, Harry,” I say against his skin, breathing in his cologne.

“Me, too. If you’d like, I’d love to take you out on another date.”

I lean back to look up at him and see him looking at me nervously with a small smile on his face. I decided to have a little fun with him.

“Hmm,” I say, tapping my chin with my finger. “I’ll think about it.”

His smile grows just as he moves his hand up to tickle my sides. I squeal, instantly putting my hand over my mouth to stop the noise. Seeing as it was almost midnight, the neighbours were for sure in bed already or at least trying to sleep.

Harry laughs at me and I take that opportunity to smack his arm.

“Harry, we’re going to wake up the whole floor.”

“Hey, I’m not the one being loud here.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re the one that decided to tickle me.”

“That’s because you won’t agree to go on another date with me.”

“So, you decided to torture me into going on another date with you?” I tease.

He sighs overdramatically. “Fine, I’ll just take someone else out on a date.”

That wipes the smirk off of my face even though I know that he’s just teasing me but it still bothered me, especially since it hit too close to home with what happened with Marcus. But I knew that I was overreacting so I washed that thought away.

But two can play this game.

“Fine. Goodbye, Harry.” I move from his arms, a dumbfounded expression appearing on his face. I turn around to unlock the door. “I had a wonderful evening. I’ll see you around.” I didn’t even risk turning around to see his expression before I open the door and step inside, closing it behind me. I lean against the door and wait.

Just like I expected, there was a light knock on the door. But I make no movement or sound.

“Lily, I was kidding,” he says through the door. He knocks again. “Lily, open up.”

I smile and cover my mouth with my hand to stop the laugh that’s threatening to come out.

He knocks again, this time a little bit louder.

“Lily. Please open the door. I’m sorry. I was just teasing. I didn’t mean that.”

I was really tempted to end his torture and open the door but he knows better than to mess with me. Plus, it was fun to see him like this. I hear him take a deep breath. I quietly turn around and go on my tiptoes to look through the peephole. Harry looks upset and anxious as he leans against the door with one hand on each side of the frame. He’s looking down at the ground but then he looks up at the peephole. I move away quickly but then I realize that he can’t see me. I look through again and I knew he learned his lesson when I see him biting his lip before he shakes his head and start to turn to walk away. That's when I wrench the door open, grab his collar and pull him to me, smacking my lips against him.

I kiss him with hunger and passion, taking control as I move my hands to his hair and tug. He groans before he turns us around and, without stopping the kiss, he closes the door and pins me against it. He could tell that I was in control and he was trying to turn the tables around as his lips move against mine more feverishly. But I wasn’t going to have that. So I rest my hands on his shoulders before I jump up and wrap my legs around his slim waist. His hands immediately move to the bottom of my legs, supporting me as he pushes me against the wall even more. With his height, even though I was up against the wall, I was still only a few inches higher than him now. But I used that to my advantage and move my hands back to tangle in his curls, pulling him closer to me as I kiss down on his lips. My lips open in a gasp as his hands squeeze on my legs and he takes that opportunity to dart his tongue into my mouth. Everything that we were doing now to each other was a fight for dominance and both of us were winning at the moment. Just I hear him groan against my lips, I pull away. We both immediately try to catch our breath as we look at each other with lust and need.

I take my finger and slowly run it against his jawline.

“Don't you ever say anything like that again,” I say breathlessly.

He’s still trying to catch his breath as his eyebrows scrunch together slightly before his eyes widen and he nods frantically.

“I promise. I’m so sorry. I--”

 I stop him, placing my finger on his lips.

“Shh. Don’t worry about it anymore.”

He nods again, my finger still on his lips. We stare at each other for a few more seconds before I take my finger and start to run it slowly across his lips. He watches my expression as I look down at his lips, which were now slightly open. I trail my finger down to his collarbone, tracing it tantalizingly slow before I start tracing the outline of the bird tattoos on his chest. I can feel his breathing start to quicken from my touch and I can feel his gaze burning through me but I resist the urge to look up at him. Because I know that once I do, he’ll be in complete control over me.

So I just continue to run my finger across his chest before I take both of my hands and run it over his chest that was exposed from his button down.

I knew that I couldn’t last much longer, so I mustered up as much courage as I could and moved my gaze up to his piercing green eyes. He was looking at me with so many expressions flashing through his eyes but the one dominating was passion.

“I’d love to go on another date with you,” I whisper.

His expression softens into a smile before he carefully places me back on my feet.

“I didn’t know I had to work so hard to get you to,” he smirks.

“It’ll only get harder every time,” I retort.

He chuckles. “I accept the challenge.”

He leans down to give me a sweet kiss as he wraps his arms around me and slowly sways us back and forth.

I pull away and give him one last quick peck.

“Good night, Harry.”

He pouts. “You’re not going to ask me to stay the night? I promise we’ll just sleep. I mean, we’ve done it before already.” He smirks.

I laugh. “That was different. We weren’t dating back then.”

“Exactly. Now we’re dating so it’s much more acceptable to sleep together. In the literal sense, you know, us sleeping on the same bed together,” he quickly adds.

I smile up at him. “I would love to but we should take things slow. It was hard enough as it was to stop kissing you right now, imagine how hard it’ll be when we’re in bed together.”

He takes a deep breath and groans. “I guess you’re right.”

He rests his forehead against mine. “Alright, I guess this is good night for now.”

“Good night, Harry. Thank you for today. Not just for tonight but for this morning, as well.”

“It’s my pleasure. I had an amazing day, as well.”

I lean back to look at him.

“Thank you for everything that you did for me today. I really appreciated it.”

“Again, it’s my pleasure.”

We pull away and he opens the door. He turns around and gives me one last kiss before he steps out.

“Bye, Harry. Drive safe.”

“I will. Good night, Lily. Sweet dreams.”

I was waiting for those parting words and it instantly brought a smile to my face. He gives me a warm smile before he turns and walks away.

I close the door and lean against it, taking deep breaths to calm myself down from the events of the past few, amazing minutes. But then the images of Harry pinning me against this door with my legs around his waist flashes through my mind and I quickly push myself off of the door and step away from it. The images make me heat up inside so I quickly go to my room to get my pajamas before I go into the bathroom to take a shower and cool myself down.


“Please don’t crash my car.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Ed. I won’t crash your precious car. I am a wonderful driver so I don’t know what you’re worried about.”

Ed just arrived at the airport and he called to ask me to pick him up with his car.

“I’m sure you are. Now the keys are on my dresser. Just come pick me up whenever you’re ready.”

“I’ll leave right now. If I didn’t miss you so much, I’ll take my precious time.”

Ed laughs through the phone. “Thanks, Lily. See you soon.”

“See you.”

I hang up the phone and go to Ed’s room to grab the cars keys. And just like he said, they were sitting on top of his dresser. I grab them and head out, excited to see my best friend again.

I put the address of the airport into my phone and follow the directions. I drive extra carefully with Ed’s car, even though I reassured him that I am an excellent driver. Just as I was scolding Ed in my head, a car cut right in front of me on the highway without even signaling, causing me to automatically press my foot on the breaks while I let out a piercing scream. The car sped up and drove away, allowing me to continue driving.

See. I am an excellent driver. I didn’t crash.

I took deep breaths to calm my pounding heart as I continue to drive. I finally arrive at the airport and park in the parking garage and head to the terminal that Ed would be coming out of. I sit in one of the seats and wait, playing on my phone to pass time.

A few minutes later, a crowd of people come out of the passageway and I stand up to go closer, looking for Ed. Ed was one of the last ones to walk out and he immediately spots me, a smile appearing on both of our faces. He pulls a luggage in one hand and he reaches me, using his other arm to give me a hug.

“I missed you,” I say.

“Missed you, too.” We pull away and we head to the parking lot.

“How was Paris?” I ask.

“It was great. Met some fans and did a little sightseeing. Definitely need more than two days to go around, especially without having to work.”

“I’m so jealous. I’ve always dreamed of going there,” I gush.

He smiles down at me. “You’ll have your chance. Even if I have to take you there myself.”

“Aww, thanks, Ed.”

We step out of the airport and are greeted by a small group of paparazzi. They aren’t as obnoxious as the others we’ve encountered. They just take pictures from a fair distance and just say a couple of ‘welcome back’s’ to Ed. Ed smiles for the camera and I just keep my head slightly down to avoid getting my face pictured. I just didn’t feel comfortable seeing my face on magazine or on the Internet. It was weird.

We reach the parking garage and the paparazzi leaves us alone. I pass Ed the keys and I hop in the passenger seat while he puts his suitcase in the trunk.

A thought came to me.

Why do the paparazzi only ask me questions when I’m with Harry? Why don’t they ask me questions when I’m with Ed?

I was left to put my questions aside as Ed opens the door and hops into the driver’s seat. He turns on the car and drives home.

“No scratches or dents on the car. I guess I can give you credit for that.”

I laugh. “See. I told you I was a great driver.”

He rolls his eyes, keeping his attention on the road.

“Do you want to catch some dinner before we go home?” he asks.

“Sure. I couldn’t cook anything since we don’t have any food left. I was planning on going grocery shopping tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to. I’ll go with you when I have a day off. I work tomorrow.”

“No, it’s honestly fine. It’s just a little something to pay you back for letting me stay here for the summer. And I don’t want you to have to worry about the groceries on your day off. You work enough already. Plus, we can spend the day doing something else.”

We stop at a red light and Ed looks over at me apprehensively. He sighs.

“Fine. But this is the only time. And don’t buy too much. It’s only us two anyways.”

I smile, glad that Ed agreed. I know that Ed wouldn’t agree to my previous ideas of giving him money for letting me stay at his place for the summer. This is a good alternative for me, I had to pay him back somehow.

He pulls over and parks on the side of the street in front of the same restaurant that we went to with Harry last week.

We get out of the car and head into the restaurant. We sit in a booth and order our food and drinks.

“So, what’d you do while I was gone? You didn’t hold parties at my place, did you?” he jokes.

“Of course not,” I laugh. My laughter quickly dies as I prepare myself for what I planned to tell Ed today. I don’t know why I was so worried about telling him, it’s not that big of a deal.

I take a deep breath and open my mouth to tell him but he interrupts me.

“You hung out with Harry, didn’t you?”

My eyes snap up at him and I tense. “I mean, other than clubbing with the girls, I’m guessing you hung out with Harry.” He doesn’t say it in a tone of anger or hostility. He just spoke in a way that made it seem like he was trying to have a casual conversation.

I clear my throat.

“Um, yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

He finally looks at me, a million different expressions flying through his expression.

“You’re together, aren’t you?” he quickly says, worry clear in his voice.

“What? No!” I shrill.

I wasn’t technically lying. Me and Harry aren’t officially together…yet. We’re still dating and seeing how things go.

He relaxes tremendously, taking a sip of his drink just as our waitress brings it to our table.

“Then what?” he asks.

I take a deep breath. “This is partially because of you actually.” I smirk causing Ed to raise an eyebrow at me in confusion. “You told Harry that I sing and play guitar.”

His expression softens in understanding.

“So that day when he came over and you blew up in my face, he actually offered to help me get over my fear of playing in front of people.”

“Oh, really? That’s actually nice of Harry.”

I relax, glad that Ed was okay with it. I was worried that he wouldn’t approve of it.

“Yeah. He’s actually started helping me already.” I smile, the memories playing in my mind. “I was able to play for him. You know that I’ve never been able to in front of anyone but you.”

He smiles at me.

“Wow, that’s great, Lily. I’m proud of you.”


I decided to leave out the part where Harry had me play on the ledge during our first date. I would have to explain a lot if I had to tell him that.

“I think Harry’s the best person to help you with that. He told me when he used to be nervous whenever he had to perform on The X Factor and even when they started performing afterwards and on tours. He was able to get over his fears and I think he’ll be able to help you do the same.”

“Yeah, I think so, too. I mean, he already has technically.” I try to suppress the blush I can feel creeping on my cheeks at my thoughts of Harry. “I never thought I would be able to sing and play in front of anybody.”

“Well, that’s great. I’m glad he was able to.”

I just smile and nod. I didn’t trust myself if I said any more about Harry. Thankfully, our waitress came out with our food, ending our conversation. We ate and had casual conversation, finding out that Ed works quite a bit this week. He apologized because he didn’t know that he’d be this busy this summer. I told him that it was okay. The summer wasn’t even nearly over so we still had plenty of time to hang out.

We finish eating and pay for our food.

“What did you wanna do for the rest of the day?” he asks as we get into the car.

“Oh…um. I actually have plans…with Harry.” I avoid his gaze before he drives off. “He’s going to help me some more tonight.” I look over at him nervously. “Is that okay?”

I don’t even know why I’m asking him for permission but I think I’d feel better if I get his approval.

He glances at me quickly with a smile. “Of course it’s okay, Lily. Like I told you before, I’m okay with you two hanging out now. Just as long as you guys don’t date or anything like that.” He laughs, playing it off as a joke. I force a laugh to hide my anxiety.

Oh, if only he knew.

But he doesn’t need to know. At least for now.

I didn’t respond to his last remark so I just lean over and turn on the radio. The rest of the car ride is spent in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio until we finally arrive to the apartment.

I text Harry as soon as we walk into Ed’s flat, telling him that I’ll be ready soon. Ed goes into his room to unpack and I go to the bathroom to freshen up. I wash my face and reapply my makeup and fix my hair. I put on some perfume and I get a text from Harry telling me that he was here. Since this wasn’t a date, we didn’t need to hide so we was waiting for me in front of the lobby.

I knock on Ed’s door.

“Come in.”

I open the door and peek my head in to see Ed laying down on his bed with his phone in his hands.

“Hey, Harry’s here. I’m gonna head out now.”

He nods. “Alright. Have fun.”

I nod. “Thanks. See you later.”

He gives me a short wave and a smile before I return it with one of my own and close his door. I practically run all the way to the lobby, seeing Harry’s car through the glass windows. I walk up to his car and open it, greeted by a grinning Harry.

“Hey,” Harry says, his eyes moving up and down my body quickly, causing me to blush.

“Hey, long time, no see,” I tease. It was only last night that we saw each other, but it felt like so much longer.

I really wanted to lean over and kiss him but I knew that we couldn’t do that here.

So I just buckle my seatbelt before he drives off. Harry wouldn’t tell me where we were going because he said that I would chicken out if he told me so I just waited until he parked the car in the back of a small building. There were no other cars parked close to us so I grew curious as to where he was taking us.

I take off my seatbelt and I was about to open the door to get out but Harry grabs me and pulls me to him, his lips connecting to mine.

His hands rest on my cheek and I turn my body towards him, both of my hands wrapping around his neck as I kiss him back.

I could taste mint and a hint of something else.

“You taste like strawberries,” I mumble against his lips. His lips move against mine a bit more before he pulls away with a chuckle.

“Yeah, I had some before I left.”

I just smile in response before he steps out of the car. He moves around to open my door for me and the second that I get out of the car, he pulls me in for a hug. He has his arms around my shoulders and I wrap mine against his waist. I take in the scent of his cologne, the smell instantly relaxing me.

“I missed you,” he says against my hair.

I hug him tighter. “I missed you, too.”

We sway back and forth, silence surrounding us before he pulls back to look at me.

“You ready?”

I was nervous and excited at the same time. I trusted Harry, so I knew that whatever he had planned for tonight would be great. I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

So I nod before he goes into the trunk of his car to grab the guitar case. He grabs my hand in his free hand and he leads me to the back of the small building.

He opens the door and we walk further through a dark hallway before we step into a partially lit room.

As soon as I take in my surroundings, my eyes widen. I see the stage, a couple of spotlights pointed towards it.

Harry took me to a venue.




This chapter is dedicated to Mystery_love258 ! Your comment was lovely :) go read her movella "love at first site"!




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