Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


86. Inside & Out

Harry’s POV

As soon as I hear the line click, I know that this fight isn’t going to end any time soon. I had no idea that it was going to end up this way.

I groan as I fall back on my bed and just close my eyes. I know I said some things that should never be said to Lily. Why the hell did I ask her whether she would be okay with me sleeping in the same bed with another girl?

I would never think about doing that with anyone. I would never do that with any girl other than Lily.

I know that I shouldn’t have picked a fight about her and Ed again. I was just annoyed with her making me wait last night. I will admit, I was being a bit selfish when I got upset that she had to leave so she could hang out with Ed. I know they haven’t seen each other in a while and Lily and I have Skyped every night since I left. I should let them have their time together.

I also regret texting her last night the way I did. Even though I feel like she still should’ve texted me, I know I was being a prick about how I handled it. When she told me that she couldn’t sleep last night, I wish that I could take it back. I should’ve texted her like I’ve always done, with an ‘I love you’ and ‘sweet dreams’.

But no, I was being stupid.

I groan once again as I sit up, realizing that I’m the one that needs to fix this. Like always.

I grab my phone and call her. I try three times but Lily’s phone goes to voicemail. I decide to wait for the beep to leave a message after the thrid try.


“Lily, I’m so sorry. I’m so so so so sorry. Please call me back…..I love you.”

I hang up and leave another five texts for her, all of them along the same lines of the voicemail I just left.

Why was I being an idiot?

I mean, I was upset that she made me wait and didn’t bother to text me but I have no idea why I acted the way I did on the phone. She was trying to apologize and I didn’t even bother to listen.

What was I expecting her to do? Tell Ed to leave so she could talk to me instead?

As I’m about to give up when I get no answer from her, my phone rings in my hand. My heart stops when I see Lily’s name flash across the screen. I don’t even bother preparing myself for why she could be calling me back. I just answer the phone and put it up to my ear.

“Lily, I--”

I’m sorry.”

My mouth hangs open as I take in her words. This was the last thing I expected her to say, at least right away.

It’s literally been 10 minutes since she hung up on me. And pissed off, as well. What the hell happened in the past 10 minutes?

I’m sorry, Harry. For everything. I’m sorry for not messaging you last night. I’m sorry for making you wait. I’m sorry for fighting with you. I don’t want to fight with you. I…I love you.”

A huge weight leaves my entire body as I slump over with a smile on my face. I know I have much more to apologize for but I’m so damn glad that she’s not pissed off at me anymore.

“I love you, too. And I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry for bringing up the whole Ed thing. I’m sorry for the way I texted you last night. I’m sorry for asking you about sleeping in the same bed with another girl. I don’t mean that at all. You’re the only one that I want to sleep on the same bed with. I’m sorry for being an arsehole.”

I hear her lightly chuckle and my smile widens and my heart lightens.

I forgive you, Harry. Do you forgive me?”

“Of course I do. There’s really nothing that you should be apologizing for. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I was the one that was being a idiot on purpose.”

Her laugh rings through the phone and I close my eyes, imagining her here with me right now.

I don’t like fighting with you, Harry, especially about something so stupid. I don’t care if David Beckham and Ian Somerhalder’s 21 year old lovechild came up to me said I looked pretty, I wouldn’t give him a second look. I have you. You’re the best thing that has happened to me and I would never even think about giving you up for anyone else. I love everything about you on the inside and, lucky for me, you happen to be sexy as hell on the outside.”

Even now, she still manages to make me blush like crazy. Of course I’m always worried that girls only like me for my looks. Not with Lily though, Yeah, she just said that she likes what’s on the outside, but she loves me even more for what’s inside. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

You just have to stop with the Ed thing, okay? I thought you learned your lesson when I pretended that Ed and I were together. Do you remember me practically gagging when you told me you thought that we were?

I laugh with her.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was just…upset with everything. I don’t know why I brought it up. Again. I guess I still have to work on the jealousy thing. But I know I don’t have to worry about that when it comes to Ed. Even though I know that neither of you would actually do anything, I know that it won’t actually happen. I was just being paranoid again.”

Stop being paranoid. Remember what I had to do the last time you said you were being paranoid?

I can hear her smirk through the phone as I remember exactly what she’s talking about. I remember telling her that I was paranoid about losing her again the day before I had to leave. And of course, I remember what happened afterwards…

“If I said that I’m still paranoid, would you come here and do the same thing again?” I tease.

She sighs and giggles lightly. “So, I saw your interview.”

I grin as she changes the subject, knowing that she doesn’t want to put up with my cheekiness right now.

I chuckle and lay back on the bed.

“Yeah? What’d you think?”

Well, in the beginning, I was still pissed at you so I thought you were annoying. During the middle, I thought you were annoyingly cute. But by the end, I thought you were just cute.”

So that's what happened in the 10 minutes before she called me back. I'm surprised she even watched it after our fight. But I am happy as hell that she did.

“Just cute?”

Okay, you were adorable. And sweet. And I love you.”

This girl, though. I love her so f*cking much. I’m always smiling when it comes to her. What in the world did I do to deserve her?

“And what was your favourite part?”

I grin as I think about the interview, having an idea about which part would be her favourite.

She hums. “Well, my favourite part would be…Liam explaining why he wouldn’t want to switch bodies with you.”

I just shake my head as I roll my eyes, my smile widening even more.

“And what was your other favourite part?”

You know what that is, Harry. It was…honestly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said about me. Did you really mean it?

“Of course I did. Every single word.”

"You didn't have to actually say that you love me in front of the camera. I know that you do. Don't feel like you have to thinking that I might get upset if you don't. I know how much craziness it'll cause with the fans."

Here she goes again, always thinking about other people before herself. I love that about her but I wish that she would think about herself more often, especially in this situation.

"But I do want the world to know that I love you. I want them to know exactly who it is that makes me happy every single second of every single day. I want them to know that you're mine and I'm all yours and I want all of the guys out there to know to stay away from you. I want everyone to know that my heart belongs to you."

"If you didn't add that last part, I would scold you for the 'guys staying away from me' comment. But I know your true intentions. You're too sweet, Harry. I love you. I love you so much." I hear her sigh. “I wish I could go there right now and kiss you for the rest of the night.”


F*ck, how I want that, too.

“I wish you could, too. So bad. But, uh…if you did come actually come here, where exactly would you kiss me?”

I smirk as the only thing I can hear is Lily’s breathing. I’m expecting her to change the subject again, just like she did with my last suggestive question. But I love teasing her, just like she does doing with me.

“Baby? You still there?” I tease, my smirk widening.

She clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. Um…well, if I was there right now, I would start off by kissing you on your lips.”

My smile fades as I hear the new confidence and sultry tone in her voice.

I would tangle my fingers in your hair as my lips move to your jaw and then down to your neck.”

I close my eyes, letting myself focus on her voice as I picture exactly what she’s saying to me.

I would suck on it, making sure to leave my mark on you. After that, I would move my lips to the spot just behind your ear that I know you love.”

My skin tingles in the spot behind my ear, feeling like she’s actually here with me doing exactly that.

F*ck, this is so hot. I didn’t actually think that she would actually go along with it. I gulp and stay silent. I wish that we could go on Skype to do this but I’m worried that it’ll kill the mood if we stop for even two seconds.


I would then open your shirt and trail kisses down your chest, your stomach, and stop just at the top of your belt.”

My breathing has deepened immensely by now and all it took was to hear words come out of Lily’s mouth.

And then I would--

I hear a bang on the other end and then Lily gasping.

Ed! What the hell?” Lily yells.

What? I need the guitar.”

You could’ve knocked!


Why? Wait…are you on the phone with Harry? Oh god. What were you two doing? Ew. No, don’t answer that.”

Get out!

Okay, okay. Hold on.”

I hear scuffling and I smile in amusement.

Could you be any slower?

Be patient!

I hear Lily groan. “Harry, just a second.

I hear what sounds like Lily placing the phone down somewhere before I hear more scuffling and then Ed groaning.

Stop being a little shit. Get out of my room!

Ow! Why are you being so mean to me? Is this how you treat your best friend after not seeing them for two weeks?

I hear a thud and Ed groaning again.

Okay, okay. I’ll leave. Go back to having phone sex with your boyfriend.

I laugh.

Get out!

I hear a door slam and footsteps before what sounds like Lily climbing back to bed.

Sorry about that. I don’t know why I forgot how annoying he could get.”

I chuckle. “It’s alright. Well, I guess it’s safe to say that he killed the mood.”

She sighs. “Yeah, sorry about that, too.” She pauses. “Maybe next time.”

Definitely next time.” I smirk and I swear I can hear a faint gasp from Lily. Suddenly, I remember one of the things I was looking forward to doing today with Lily.

“So, did you still want to listen to the new album with me?”

She gasps. “Yes! I would love to! Can we go on Skype though?

“Of course.”

I smile at her excitement as I go to grab my laptop. I turn it on and impatiently wait for Skype to open.

I was worried that she wouldn’t want to anymore after our fight. I’ve been looking forward to listening to the album with her ever since we first started recording it after we first met.


Particularly one song…



DRAMA AVERTED!..........for now ;)

AHHHH OTRA TOUR STARTS TOMORROW! TIME FOR GODLY PICS AND VIDEOS OF ALL OF THE BOYS TOGETHER! Sadly, it'll be 3am here when the concert starts so I'll be sleeping like a baby. I'll just have to look at the pictures tomorrow.

Anyways, pretty please comment! I miss how the comments were like before. Let me know what you thought of the chapter!

Soo 35 votes and 15 comments! I have a lot more planned for this story so it won't be ending any time soon ;)

Thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

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