Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


122. Heat

Smut warning! (including dirty talk...)


Lily’s POV

We quickly walk towards the coat check, lucky that no one saw us before we turn left into the hallway that's off-limits to any guest in the party, a simple sign blocking the way.

Since Harry's the host of the party, of course he's the only one allowed back here. He seems to know where he's going because he walks with determination to the last door at the end of the hall, opening it and quickly pulling me inside and shutting the door behind me.

I don't even bother looking around the room as I'm the one that lurches forward first, kissing him with more urgency than when we were on the dance floor. However, with his strength, he's the one that pushes me against the door, pressing his body against mine.

"F.uck. I've wanted to do this all night. Ever since I first saw you in this dress," he practically growls against my lips.

His fingers dig into my skin and I tangle mine in his hair as he turns his head to deepen the kiss.

"We have to make this quick before someone realizes we're gone," he mumbles through the kiss.

All I can do is nod before I rest my hands on his shoulders, knowing what's coming next. He crouches down slightly and grips the backs of my thighs before I jump up and wrap my arms around his neck. He grinds his pelvis up against my crotch, making me to moan out in pleasure.

Harry was right about this needing to be quick. As much as I wanted to pleasure him in as many ways as I can, I knew that we had to go back out there before we raise suspicion. With our limited time, Harry just brings his hand down, fisting my dress and harshly pulling it up until it's bunched up right underneath my breasts.

He leans his head down and places wet kisses around my chest as he moves his hand in between us and slides his finger into the crotch of my underwear, swooping it to one side before gliding his two fingers along my slit.

I release a breathless gasp, throwing my head back in pleasure and tightening my legs around his waist as he licks a bold stripe up the middle of my breasts.

"Baby, you're so wet for me already." His voice is mumbled against my skin as he continues to leave a trail of kisses on my chest. He takes one side of my dress in between his teeth and tugs on it, letting my one breast slip out from underneath.

He wraps his lips around my nipple, sucking and nipping. I flinch when he takes it between his teeth and flicks it with his tongue, a whiny moan escaping from my mouth.

I start to pant and my legs shake slightly around him as he continues to move his fingers against me, the pleasure inside me only growing and growing at each swipe and nudge against my c.lit.

"I...I need you now, Har...Harry, please."

With that, he lets me down, only to undo the button and zipper of his jeans. He only manages to push it down to his knees before he grips my thighs again and lifts me up before slamming me against the door.

I move against his length, letting my slick heat lubricate him. I press my lips to his as he takes his length in his hand and spreads my slickness around his entire member. He guides the tip right at my entrance, pushing against it teasingly before he swipes it up to press against my c.lit.

I let out a high moan as he circles the tip around my nub, pressing against it once last time before he moves it back to my entrance. He pushes in slightly, feeling only the tip of him inside but as soon as he removes his hand, I push down all the way at the same time that he thrusts into me.

We both moan loudly, pausing to let the both of us adjust.

I can feel myself get wetter around him, enough that when he starts to move against me, he moves easily.

He spreads my legs wider, taking one of my thighs and pressing it up against the door, keeping me in place as he starts to pound into me.

He grunts every time he thrusts inside of me and I clench my walls around him every time he pulls back, knowing it'll increase his pleasure. The sound of slapping skin, moans and pants, the thuds of my bum being slammed against the door, and my slickness moving inside of me as he moves in and out is all you can hear in the room.

We're far enough away from the rest of the party that we fortunately don't have to keep quiet. Even if we did, I know that I wouldn't have been able to with the way that Harry is moving into me.

Remembering what had turned me on last time we made love, I lick my lips and try to catch enough breath to speak my wants.

"Harry..." I gasp. "Talk dirty...please."

I don't even feel embarrassed knowing that Harry enjoys it just as much as I do.

He growls lowly before he pulls his head back slightly to look at me. His pupils are blown, desire and determination clouding his eyes.

"You like it when I talk dirty to you?" he rasps. "When my mouth isn't pleasuring you, tasting you, you like when dirty things come out of them."

My eyes roll to the back of my head as I take in his words, his thrusts not hindering in the slightest as his focus is now on something else. 

"Do you like it when I talk to you like this? Answer me."

I moan at the authority in his voice before I lock my gaze with his and nod.

"I need you to answer me, baby. I want to hear the words come out of that pretty, little mouth of yours. Since I can't have your lips around me, I want to hear them."

"Y...yes," I gasp. "I love it when...when you talk dirty. It makes me so wet."

His eyes harden even more and his thrusts become more powerful.

"You're so wet for me, baby. Do you feel how wet you are? Do you feel how easily I move inside of you?"

I moan out loud, his words practically adding to the pleasure in between my legs as he continues to pound into me.

I can feel my pleasure reaching its peak, my walls starting to tighten around him on their own.

I can sense that Harry notices because he thrusts into me harder and deeper, moving his hips until I scream out his name as soon as he hits the right spot. With his hand still trapping my leg against the wall, I can't move to meet his thrusts.

However, it only makes it more intense with the fact that I'm powerless against him and he's still able to pleasure me.

"Are you almost there, baby?" he growls through gritted teeth and I know he's almost there himself.

I nod, panting as I close my eyes and try to hold it in as long as I can.

"Cum for me, baby. Cum all over me."

He repeats these words at every thrust, only getting harder and faster every time. I open my eyes and see him staring down at where we're connecting and I look down as well, watching as his slick member moves in and out of me.

He thrusts deeper, his pelvis grinding against my c.lit and I start to moan louder.

"Harry...f.uck. Just like that. Harder," I mewl, digging my fingernails into his shoulders.

He locks his gaze with mine as he pulls back slowly, leaving only just the tip before he slams back into me and starts pounding into me like there's no tomorrow.

I start to thrash, helpless as he pins me against the wall.

I start to gasp for breath in between each shout of his name. When he thrusts into me, he makes sure to grind himself up against my c.lit. After a few more mind-blowing thrusts, I finally release.

"Harry! Shi...f.uck! Harry, keep going!" I scream through my o.rgasm. My walls pulse around him as the pleasure spreads to my entire body, making me spasm against his.

I cry out his name as he goes at the same strength and speed, working towards his own. My o.rgasm continues to work through me, only getting stronger until Harry brings me to another one.

I scream his name, my breath catching in my throat. He gives a few more powerful thrusts until I feel him pulse inside of me and releases his hot fluid in spurts. His body shakes as he groans my name, pressing his body against mine as he spasms through his release.

He slows his thrusts but still goes deep as he rides out both of our highs, both of our bodies flinching at the aftershocks crashes through us in waves.

I can feel the stickiness of both of our bodies as we struggle to pull away. He rests his forehead against mine, our harsh breaths mixing together.

He stills inside of me and we both wait until we've regained some control before he carefully pulls out of me. He slowly lowers me and I place my wobbly legs on the ground, his hands quickly grasping my waist to help me stay up.

I feel the mixture of our fluids running down the inside of my thighs but I'm too tired to do anything to clean it up.

"Wait here," he whispers.

I lean back against the wall more securely as he pulls away and pulls up his boxers and jeans, leaving it undone as he makes his way across the room and into what I can now see is a bathroom. He comes back out a second later with a towel in his hands and he walks back to me.

He carefully spreads my legs, a hiss escaping through my teeth when I feel my still sensitive heat moving. He crouches down and wipes my legs clean in silence. He leaves the spot in between my legs for last and he stands up and silently asks for permission. I nod in response and he slowly and carefully wipes my heat, his gaze never leaving mine.

This is such an intimate moment, I don't even feel embarrassment coming from it.

Once I'm completely clean, he carelessly throws the towel onto the floor beside us before he moves his gaze down to my dress. I just watch him as he fixes the top of my dress, covering my breast back up. Then, both of his hands grab each side of my dress and slowly pulls it down until it's where it's supposed to be.

He brings his hands up to cup each sides of my face, his thumbs gently brushing against my cheeks as we both finally catch our breaths.

"You okay?" he asks.

I nod as I rest my hands on his waist. I lean up and place a sweet kiss on his lips, our lips unmoving but still meaningful. Harry pulls away but leaves multiple pecks, probing a bigger smile on my face every time.

"We should go back out there," I say. "At least one person's probably noticed one of us is gone."

Harry nods and gives me one more kiss before he takes a step back, taking my hand in his and pulling me away from the door.

"Harry, your pants!"

My eyes widen when I notice that his pants are still unbuttoned with the zipper open. Harry chuckles as he lets go of my hand to do them up. He fixes his shirt and then his hair before he takes my hand once again and opens the door.

The volume of the music increases immensely, especially as we step out into the hall. We make our way back out to the party and Harry takes a peek around the corner first, making sure no one's looking this way before he tugs me to the edge of the crowd.

More guests seemed to have arrived with our absence and, thankfully, it helps us blend in without any suspicion. Harry leads me to the bar and I order a cold glass of water as he orders another rum and coke. Our little rendezvous must have worked out his buzz so I'm sure he needs at least one drink to get some energy back.

"Lily! There you are!"

I jump, turning around and seeing Eleanor, Perrie and Sophia.

"We've been looking all over for you!" El shouts over the music.

", Harry was introducing me to some of his friends...and then I had to go to the bathroom."

I take a sip of my drink, not wanting to trust myself to say more.

"Oh, okay," Perrie says. "Well, we want to take pictures out on the balcony. It's beautiful. You're going with us."

I laugh as I place my drink back on the table.

"Alright. Let's go."

They turn around and head to the balcony and I turn to face Harry.

"I'll be right back okay. Actually, I'm not sure. Those girls love taking millions of pictures."

Harry chuckles, wrapping his arms around my waist. "No worries. Take your time. I'll just be with the lads by the beer pong table."

He flicks his head towards their direction and sure enough, I see the others having a beer pong match, Liam and Louis against Niall and Ed. I see Matti standing by Ed's side, my other friends standing all around the table.

I look back up at Harry and nod. "Alright. I'll meet you there when we're done."

Harry leans down and kisses me before I reluctantly pull away from his arms and head in the direction that El and Perrie headed to.

I watch Harry walk to the others until I reach the balcony doors, seeing the girls outside already taking pictures.

I slide the door open and step out into the chilly night.

"You didn't even wait for me!" I shout, catching their attention.

"You were taking too long making out with Harry," Sophia retorts.

I playfully roll my eyes as I walk up to them. Perrie stands in the middle with Sophia, and El holds out her phone. We take several pictures together in different poses, the London skyline behind and below us. El, Sophia and I make kissy faces at Perrie and then Perrie and El switch places so El's now in the middle with Perrie holding out her phone. Now, Perrie, Sophia and I make kissy faces at El before we take more pictures in different poses. And then it's Sophia's turn, going through the same process once again.

"My turn!" I exclaim. El and I switch places but then I realize that I don't have my phone. "Wait. Harry has my phone. I'll quickly go get it. He's right by the beer pong table."

"Hurry! It's getting cold!" Sophia says, rubbing her arms with her hands.

"I will!" I reply as I head towards the door. I step inside and make my way to the beer bong table. I look around for Harry but see him nowhere in sight. I walk up to Louis and tap his shoulder, catching his attention.

"Where's Harry?"

He shrugs. "He went somewhere like five minutes ago without telling us anything. I saw him walking towards that direction."

He points towards the coat check area, where the hallway is.

I nod and thank him before I quickly walk through the crowd, heading towards the hallway. I look down the hallway but don't see anyone and I'm about to turn around when I see a shadow moving inside the room that Harry and I were in.

I start making my way down the hallway, about to call out his name when I hear him talking. I stop in my footsteps for a second, making sure not to make a sound as I try to listen to what he's saying. The loud music behind me and the distance between me and the room stops me from being able to make out his words.

I quietly start walking closer until I'm right beside the door. I crane my neck towards the opening of the door, making sure not to be heard.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Harry."

Is that...Collin?

Utter confusion washes over me, my eyebrows furrowing as I continue to listen. Why the hell are Harry and Collin talking? And privately in a room?

They only just met yesterday.

"She's starting to get suspicious," he continues.

"No, she isn't," Harry replies. "You're fine. You have nothing to worry about."

What the hell are they talking about? Are they talking about me?

"I don't feel comfortable doing this anymore. Can't you just tell her?"

I know for sure that they're talking about me now. There's no one else that they would be talking about like this.

I continue to listen and the next words that come out of Harry's mouth hit me like a ton of bricks.

"And how do you think she's going to react? 'Hey, Lily. I hired Collin to be your personal bodyguard to watch over you while I'm on tour'."


Uh oh!

Did you guys expect that? I know a lot of you guys were suspicious about Collin but did you guys expect this to happen? There were A LOT of clues throughout the chapters since I first introduced him. Go back and see if you can notice them now.

Let me know what you think!

40 votes and 15 comments!

Thanks for reading!

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