Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


79. Daydreaming

Lily’s POV

“So, where’s your guys’ first show?” I ask before I take a bite of my pasta. We decided to eat at a nice restaurant and since it was nice out, we chose to eat outside in the patio. We don’t pay attention to the paparazzi taking pictures nonstop on the other side of the sidewalk so we can enjoy our lunch.

“We’re going to Colombia. Bogota, to be exact,” Louis answers.

“Oh, wow. That sounds amazing. Can El and I be your personal assistants so we go see all these amazing places with you?”

Everyone laughs and Harry squeezes my leg, which has been there since we first sat down.

“I definitely wouldn’t mind that,” Harry says. I turn to look at him with a smile and lightly nudge my shoulder at him.

“And when do you play in London?”

“November,” Harry says.

“Hopefully Lily and I don’t have tests. We definitely have to go to those shows.” Eleanor pouts at Louis and he puts his arm around her shoulders.

“I don’t care if you have a test. I will pay your school to get you two out of it so you can see us.” El swats Louis on his chest at his remark but laughs afterwards.

I’ve never been to any of their shows so I definitely want to go. I start to daydream about being backstage before they go on and then giving him a good luck kiss before he performs. I even daydream about him spotting me in the crowd afterwards and then singing to me for certain parts of songs.

I definitely have to go now.

“Do you guys have a show on my birthday? I mean, I know it’s not until April but you guys have your whole tour schedule, right?” I ask nervously. I’m really hoping that they don’t. It would be nice to celebrate it with everyone, especially Harry. For my birthday last year, Marcus had only taken me out for dinner. No one threw me a party. It was actually quite depressing.

“I checked and we don’t. We’ll be in America at that time but we’ll have enough time to come back here.” Harry quickly answers. A huge smile spreads across his face and it triggers mine. I lean over to place a quick kiss but it’s long enough to cause the paparazzi to snap their cameras like crazy. Again, I just ignore them, as does everyone else.

“Great. You all better be there for my birthday,” I point at Harry and Louis.

Harry takes his hand off of my leg and brings his arm around my shoulders, placing his hand at the curve of the back of my neck.

“I will definitely be there. And I will make sure that I’m the first one that greets you.” He pulls me closer to him and gives me another quick kiss. Again, I hear the shutters of the multiple cameras going off like crazy.

“You better. Remember how I greeted your mum on her birthday before you did? I may not be so forgiving if you’re not the first one,” I tease. I bite my lip when Harry smiles at me.

“Just you wait,” he whispers.

“When you girls have free time, let us know and we’ll definitely bring you wherever we’re going,” Louis says.

“That’s so nice of you guys,” I gush. It would be incredible to travel with them and see all of these beautiful cities they’re going to. Even my pet peeve of people paying for things for me wouldn’t get in the way of me accepting their offer. I would go in a heartbeat, especially with Harry. Even travelling with El, and hopefully Perrie, will be amazing. It’d be nice to travel around with the girls.

Louis starts to show Eleanor their schedule and Harry finishes his food and just watches me as I finish mine.

And that’s when Harry and I go into our own little world. His thumb starts to run back and forth along the back of my neck and I place my free hand on his leg. He rests his elbow on the table and rests his cheek on his fist and just watches me with adoration on his face. Usually, I would blush and ask him to stop staring at me, especially as I’m eating, but I don’t care. He’s been nothing but sweet today, these past two days, so I shouldn’t be complaining, especially since he’s leaving soon.

I’m used to Harry staring at me by now. Since he told me yesterday one of the reasons why he does so, the fact that he loves my smile, I should be flattered.

I feed him a bite of my pasta and continue to share with him until my food is finished. I can tell that Louis and Eleanor are having their own private moment so when they eat their dessert, I just nudge my face into the crook of Harry’s neck, my nose grazing along his skin. His hand that was supporting his chin is now rubbing my arm and both of my hands play with the hem of his shirt, my actions being blocked from view by the table from the prying paparazzi.

Harry ducks his head, now inches away from my shoulder. My face is now almost completely blocked from view from everyone around us and I actually like it. I can feel his breath fanning across my bare shoulder and the warmth of his hand still placed across the back of my neck is allowing the warmth to spread.

I place chaste kisses on his neck and I can feel Harry’s hand tighten at my actions. I wish I could stay like this forever. I know I say this every time Harry holds me like this but no matter how he’s holding me, I always feel like I’m in the clouds. I feel safe. I feel protected. I feel like it’s only us in the world.

He starts humming and it only takes a few notes for me to recognize the song.

Last First Kiss.

I just continue to smile as he hums the song, occasionally quietly singing some of the lyrics. We do this without moving from our spot.

“Our last first kiss,” he sings the word and I lean in to place another kiss on his neck.

Harry groans and brings his face even closer. “Can we turn back time so we can spend more time together? Can we go back to when we were first born, find each other so we could’ve been together since then?”

I giggle against his neck and I feel Harry’s laugh against my bare shoulder.

“That would’ve been weird, Harry. And even though it would’ve been nice…I like how we met.”

I really do like how we met. I like our story. It brought us here. I’m sure if we had met under different circumstance, our story might’ve been different. He places his lips on my shoulder and hums thoughtfully, knowing that his thoughts are similar.

Suddenly, I hear a shutter sound different from the one from the sounds that I’ve been hearing from the paparazzi. Harry and I look up and see Eleanor with her phone pointed towards us. I smile and she takes another picture.

She puts her phone away and gives Harry and I a small smile.

“You two are too adorable,” she gushes. “Like, I just got shivers watching you two.”

I shyly smile and snuggle my face back into Harry’s neck. I’ve always been jealous of Eleanor and Louis’ relationship, especially when Harry and I broke up, so it’s nice to know that they think of Harry and I like that. It must really show that Harry and I love each other. I want to show the whole world how much I love this man.

“Shall we go?” she asks.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry answers as both of us nod. Harry calls over the waitress and asks for the bill, insisting that he pay for everyone. He suddenly turns to me. “Is that okay, babe?”

I knew this was coming but I still roll my eyes and nod. “Yes, Harry. It’s fine. Thank you for asking.” I smile and shake my head as he gives me a toothy grin. I can tell that Harry listened to what I said yesterday in the car. It shows that he listened. It shows that he’s really doing whatever he can to make me happy.

Harry pays for the lunch and we all stand up and head out of the restaurant. Harry takes my hand and I grasp his arm with my other as we make our way through the crowd of paparazzi and fans. Neither of them stop to take pictures as Louis and Eleanor go straight to Louis’ car and Harry guides me towards his.

Of course I hear the same questions that has been shouted our way since Harry and I were first spotted together when he came here but, like I always do, I ignore them. I still smile because I don’t want to be seen as the bitchy girlfriend.

He opens the door for me and closes it when I’m safely inside before he walks around the car and hops in and follows Louis out of the parking lot. We head back to the flat and, like I always do, I take his free hand and place it in my lap and start playing with this fingers and his rings. I smile as I look down at the one on his middle finger, the one that he used for the fake proposal from this morning.

Even though it was just a prank, I can’t help but think about if it had been real. My smile widens as I let my imagination take over. I imagine how Harry would actually propose to me. Knowing him and his romantic side, he would go over the top. He would go above and beyond and do something outrageous and unique but be completely sentimental and romantic.

He still hasn’t told me what he had planned for Paris when he was going to take me there in the summer but from what Perrie had told me, I could tell that it was amazing. Will he take me to Paris and propose to me there?

Oh my gosh, what am I doing?

I shake my head at where my imagination was taking me. I know that I am way too young to be thinking about this stuff but a girl can dream, right?

And I know that Harry’s the one. Both of us know that we only picture ourselves walking down the aisle with only each other.

I can’t help but daydream about it, especially with what happened this morning. It gave me a glimpse of what it would be like. I know it wasn’t real but the feeling it gave me seeing Harry down on one knee with a ring in his hand and smiling up at me as he asks me to be his still gave me one of the best feelings in the world. I know that it won’t be happening any time soon but I still can’t wait for the day it finally comes.

I must’ve been daydreaming way too much because it takes me a while to realize that we’re now parked in front of the flat. I still have a huge smile on face and I look up and see Harry staring at me again. I can see his eyes darting in between my eyes and my smile and I know exactly the reason behind his.

I glance at the time and see that it’s 11:45. Only 15 minutes left and I plan on spending every second I have with Harry. Louis and Eleanor had to stop by the gas station but he said he would text Harry when he gets to the flat since they would be driving back to London in Harry’s car. Louis is going to leave his car for El and I to use and, at first, Harry was going to leave his but he knew how I would feel about that.

He definitely knows me well now.

“Did you just want to wait here for them?” I ask as I sit more comfortably in my seat. I open the visor to check my makeup in the mirror but I look over at him when he doesn’t answer and I see him looking at me with an unreadable expression. I’m about to ask him what’s wrong but he clears his throat, interrupting me.

“I forgot something in your room. Can we quickly go get it?”

I nod. “Yeah, sure.”

We get out of the car and make our way inside. I try not to look at my watch, not wanting to know exactly how much time we have left. I know that they don’t have to leave at exactly 12 noon but I know that they are definitely leaving soon.

Harry is quiet the entire way up to the flat but I notice that his thumb is brushing back and forth along my hand.

I unlock the door and lead him to my bedroom. I walk inside and let go of his hand to let him get what he had forgotten and look around my room.

“What did you forget?”

I jump when the door slams behind me. I turn around and my face is quickly taken in Harry’s hands before he slams his lips on mine. I gasp into his mouth when he turns us around and pushes me against the door, his body pressing against mine.

I’m still trying to process what’s happening but as soon as Harry’s lips start moving against mine more feverishly, I’m able to gain control of my body again and I let my hands move up to grasp the back of his head.

Harry’s lips leave mine but his forehead rests against mine.

“I need you, Lily,” he pants. “Just one more time before I have to leave. Please.”

The desperation and lust lacing his voice makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter like crazy and all I can do is nod.

“It’ll have to be quick because they could be here soon.”

Again, I just nod impatiently.

Even though him asking me for a quickie shouldn’t be leaving me all flustered like this, I want this, too. These past two and a half days have been more I could ask for and I want this for us.

Harry places his lips on mine again before his hands roam down to my hips. He bunches up my maxi dress in his hands all the way up to my waist and presses himself against me. His crouches down slightly and rests his hands on the back of my thighs and gently squeezes.

“Jump,” he orders breathlessly, his lips returning to mine quickly afterwards.


I do as I’m told and wrap my arms tightly around his neck before I jump up. Harry gracefully lifts me at the same time, pulling my legs behind him to wrap around his waist. His strong hands return to rest on my waist, supporting me as he pushes me harder against the wall, instantly bringing me into a state of bliss.




Ok, so a few things to address:

I haven't planned on writing another smut chapter for this part because I want to focus on the rest of the story but when I have time and when I find a bit more inspiration, I'll write one. Smut chapters are actually really hard to write and you need to make it different every time you make one so I kind of don't have the energy to make one right now. I'll most likelt write one but no promises. It'll still be on private but I'll let you guys know.

As for the boys being on tour in this story, it'll follow the same schedule as their WWA tour, maybe a little bit different in regards to length. It'll also be starting at a different time than it actually started. It started in April in real life but it's going to start in September in my story. Hopefully, that's not comfusing lol.

Anyways, please vote and comment!

Raising the votes!

35 votes and 15 comments :) I would love some feedback!

Thanks for reading! Love you guys <3

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