Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


136. Between Us

*not edited*

*smut warning*


Lily's POV

It's nearing midnight now and the party was starting to die down. The men were still watching a game and the women were still in the kitchen but they weren't as loud as before. The kids were still in the living room watching a movie and Harry was lying down on the couch with his head in my lap.

It was about halfway through the movie that I had noticed that he was fast asleep. I just continue to watch the movie, brushing his hair gently with my hand.

Suddenly, I feel someone place their hand on my shoulder and I look up and see Anne smiling down at me.

"Hi, love. Can I talk to you?"

I nod as I try to hide my nervousness. "Sure. Of course."

I'm about to get up from the couch but she places her hand on my shoulder again.

"It's alright. We can talk here," she whispers, only loud enough for me to hear.

She pulls up one of the chairs and places it beside the couch, right beside me.

She sits down and faces me. She glances down at Harry in my lap and when I continue to brush his hair, a small smile spreads across her face before she looks back up at me.

"First of all, I want you to know that I'm not upset with you for what happened. I know that you're worried about that. I mean, I was upset that Harry was upset but I wasn't upset with you for it. I understood why you did it. So what I wanted to say is that, even though a part of me knew that you would, I'm glad you went back to Harry."

I give her a small smile before I look down at Harry still peacefully sleeping on my lap.

"I wish I didn't have to do it," I say. "But I didn't want to lose him."

Anne places her hand over mine that was resting on the armrest of the couch. I glace up at her and see her giving me an understanding smile, like she knew all along why I did what I did.

"I didn't want him to lose you, either. I tried to make him understand why I thought you wanted a break and I think he understood eventually. It was hard for him at first but I think he eventually realized that he didn't want to lose you, either." She shakes her head. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone more in love than Harry is towards you. And I don't think I ever will."

I just smile, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill over.

"I never wanted to hurt your son, Anne. But...I didn't want to lose him."

"I understand. You don't need to explain anymore. I'm just glad you two are together again."

I just nod. "Me, too."

She sighs. "I apologize for how Harry's aunts and Granny were. I hope they didn't scare you off."

I laugh softly. "I'm fine, I swear. My aunts are like that, too. I've just never been the one to experience it myself. They were lovely. I'm just happy that they like me. I mean, I hope they do."

"What are you talking about?" she asks. "They absolutely love you. They're just as protective of Harry as I am, especially Granny. She's the tough one. If you have her approval, you have everyone's approval."

I laugh with her, which is what causes Harry to start to stir in my lap. He blinks slowly as he wakes up, groaning as he stretches before he turns his head to look up at me with a smile.

I return his smile and he looks over at his mum and looks at the both of us in confusion. He sits up with a yawn, sitting right beside me and facing Anne.

"What's happening?" he grumbles with a rasp.

"Oh, nothing. Lily and I were just catching up. And I was telling her how much Granny loves her."

Harry's smile widens as he looks over to me and takes my hand.

"I knew she would. It's hard not to love this one."

I blush, feeling Anne watching the two of us. I bury my face against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I turn to look over at Anne and see her just beaming at us.

I see Harry glance at his watch and I pull away as he takes my hand again.

"We should go," Harry says. "It's getting late."

Anne nods and stands up, Harry and I following her. She leads the way to the kitchen and everyone looks over at us as we enter.

"Harry and Lily are going to head out," Anne says. They all stand up from their seats and walk up to us.

"It was very nice to meet you, Lily," Harry's aunt Dee says as I hug her.

"It was nice to meet you all. Thank you for having us."

Harry gives his grandmother a hug and then she walks up to me.

"It was lovely to meet you, dear. Hope to see you two really soon."

"It was nice meeting you, ma'am. I'm sure Harry and I will see you again soon."

"'Ma'am'? Call me Granny. I mean, you are marrying my grandson, aren't you?"

I give a small laugh, not knowing how to reply. I mean, I know that Harry basically promised himself to me just yesterday but I don't think it's official enough to share with his entire family. Thankfully, Harry walks up to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"Alright. That's enough from you, Gran. No more wine for you."

She laughs and lightly smacks Harry on his arm.

Harry takes my hand and leads us to the men in the other room. We both say our goodbyes to everyone, telling them that we'll see them all at Christmas. We go back to the living room and we say goodbye to Gemma and his cousins.

I greet Gemma again, telling her that we'll see her at Christmas.

I pick up Luna, who had fallen asleep in the living room and take her in my arms. We meet Anne and Harry's aunt at the front door and we give them another hug before Harry and I leave.

I put the still sleeping Luna in the back seat and close the door quietly.

"Did you have a good time?" he asks as he opens my door for me.

I turn around to face him, placing my hands on his waist as he rests his arms on the top of the roof of the car and the door.

"I had a wonderful time. Your family is very lovely."

He smiles down at me before leaning in and giving me a sweet kiss.

"And when am I going to be meeting your family? I haven't even met your parents yet."

"You really want to meet them? I mean, they keep asking me to meet you but I wasn't sure if you'd want to."

"Of course I want to. I want to thank the two people that made such a beautiful, perfect woman."

I laugh as I lean up on my tiptoes and give him a kiss on his cheek. "Why, thank you. I guess we can visit them sometime this week. They leave for Edinburg next week so I'll ask them when we can go."

"Wonderful. Just tell me anything I need to know about them so I can win them over with my charm."

I roll my eyes with a smile. "Hey, you just threw me in there with your aunts and grandmother with just a small warning. You're gonna have to win over my parents by yourself."

He playfully pouts.

"But I'm sure you'll be able to charm them, no matter what," I add.

He gives me a toothy smile. "Don't worry. They'll love me."

"I know they will. It's hard not to love you."

His eyes soften as he hears me use his words against him, the ones that made me blush in front of his mum.

He leans down and gives me another kiss, this one much longer than the first.

Suddenly, we hear a thud and we both quickly pull away and look over at the house. We see his aunts standing by the front window, looking at us and waving.

I bury my face in his chest in embarrassment, knowing that they were watching us kiss.

"Go away!" Harry shouts with a laugh. I peek over at them and see them laughing before they scurry away. "Sorry about that. Let's go before they start taking pictures."

I laugh as I pull away and hop inside the car. Harry closes the door and makes his way around and gets inside the driver's side.

We just sit in silence as we make the short trip to Harry's house. I smile as we pull into his driveway, feeling the excitement grow as I think about spending my Christmas break with him. No school for me, and no work for Harry, just like it was during the summer.

He puts the car in the garage and we both hop out and I take Luna from the back seat as Harry grabs our bags from the trunk. I was planning on staying here until the end of my break so I packed a suitcase and another duffel bag full of my clothes and other belongings.

Harry carries all of the bags to the door and unlocks it. I open the door and hold it open for him as he brings the bags inside and places them on the floor.

"I bought her a dog bed last week. I placed it in the kitchen since I had a doggie door installed in the patio doors."

"Harry, that's so thoughtful of you. You didn't have to do that."

He turns on the lights as we make our way to the kitchen. I spot the dog bed and then the doggie door that wasn't there the last time I was here.

"Thank you, babe. She'll love it."

I carefully place her in the dog bed and she doesn't even stir one bit. She must've gotten tired from playing with Daisy.

"She'll be able to go out to the backyard any time she wants. It's completely fenced in so she won't be able to get out."

"Thank you, Harry."

He goes into the kitchen and fills a bowl with water before placing it beside the dog bed.

We look over at Luna for a few more seconds until Harry takes my hand and leads me towards the stairs. I help him carry our bags upstairs and we place it by the bed.

Since we had taken a shower this morning, I just change into one of Harry's shirts. It's already past midnight so I know that the both of us are too lazy to take another shower. I wash my face and brush my teeth before I make my way back to the room. Harry is already sitting on the side of the bed, leaning back on his hands and just watches me as I walk up to him.

I stand right in between his legs as he sits up straight and rests his hands on my hips. I place my hands on his shoulder and step closer until I'm pressed up right against him.

"What took you so long?" he grumbles lowly.

A small smile tugs on my lips as I press my forehead against his.

"I didn't know you were waiting for me. I'm very sorry."

He gives a short chuckle and he tugs at my hips, pulling me closer to him.

"Kiss me and I'll forgive you."

My smile widens for only a second until I press my lips against his. His fingers dig into my skin, slowly giving me a burst of energy. His hands roam my waist and my back as I quietly moan against his mouth.

He tilts his head to the side, deepening the kiss and slowly sliding his tongue inside my mouth, swiping against mine. His hands glide down my hips, down my waist, stopping at my thighs before they slide back up, this time taking my shirt up with them.

I swipe my tongue along his bottom lip and bite down on it before he pulls away and presses his lips to my neck. I catch my breath as he sucks, bites and licks the skin on my neck and base of my throat. His fingers dig into my hips, pulling them against him as I close my eyes in pleasure.

Suddenly, he grips the backs of my legs and effortlessly lifts me up and pulls me to straddle his lap. He lifts his head up and slams his lips back to mine and I take my hands and grab the hair on the back of his head, tugging on them as I kiss down on his lips.

Suddenly, he stands up with me still in his arms and I wrap my legs around his waist as he turns us around. He gently lays me on my back on the edge of the bed, holding onto the back of my legs as he remains standing in front of me. I keep my legs wrapped around his waist as his hands slowly glide along my thighs. My shirt is still bunched up around my waist, a little bit of my stomach exposed to him.

Not wanting to waste any more time, I arch my back and tug my shirt off, throwing it carelessly to the side. I'm now completely exposed to him, except for my panties, which I know will be gone sooner or later.

I watch as his eyes take time to sweep up and down my body, taking in every inch like it's new to him. It's been five weeks, so I guess I can understand why. I know that when he had taken off his shirt last night before we went to sleep, I couldn't help but take his upper body in, looking at it any chance I got. It had been too long since I've seen him and I was taking in every single inch, wanting to burn it into my memory again.

I focus back on his face, his eyes now looking back at me. He locks his gaze with mine as he reaches over his back and starts tugging his shirt off of his body. My eyes dart down to his stomach, watching the muscles under his tight skin ripple with his movement. I watch from the V-line of his hips up to his broad shoulders until he tugs his shirt over his head, his hair cascading down before he tosses his shirt to the side.

He leans down, gliding his hands along the side of my body, surely feeling the shivers rippling along my body as he kisses me. I glide my hands to his back, gently digging my fingers into his skin. I can feel his one hand slowly moving down my body to my lower stomach, the tips of his fingers caressing the hem of my underwear.

When his fingers slide under my panties and glide down to my aching heat, I gasp against his mouth and dig my fingernails into his back, earning a low groan to erupt from his throat. His moves his finger lower, pressing in between my heat and teasing my entrance. He circles the tip of his middle finger around it, gathering some of my slickness before spreading it as he trails it up my slit.

I give a breathless moan as he presses the pad of his finger to my bundle of nerves, circling it in an achingly slow pace. My self-control is slowly but surely disappearing so I take my hand and move it down in between us to rest over his still-covered length. I rub him through his sweats, feeling him getting harder under my touch.

Just as I'm about to slide my hand underneath his sweats, he removes his lips from mine and moves down to take one of my nipples into his mouth.

I give another loud moan, throwing my head back in pleasure as my hands tangle on the back of his head, pressing him harder against my breast. I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling him against my centre.

I lift my hips against him, against his finger still teasing my heat as he continues to suck and lick on my nipples. I almost want to tell him to stop, knowing that I need him soon but he switches to my other breast and gives me another round of intense pleasure.

I lick my dry lips, panting as Harry continues to take my breath away with just his hands and mouth. He presses his tongue against my nipples before he pulls away with a suck of his lips. He stands back up, my hands falling from him and resting on the bed as I wait for his next move.

He takes the sides of my panties, hooking his fingers on the thin material before he tugs them down slowly. He kisses the inside of my legs as he takes my underwear off one leg at a time and tosses them on the ground.

I sit up and keep our eyes locked as I reach out and slowly pull his sweats and boxer briefs down his legs. He kicks off the rest, stepping out of them with his gaze never leaving mine.

I reach up for the back of his neck and tug him down to crash his lips with mine. His fingers brush my breasts, squeezing them occasionally, causing me to release a harsh gasp against his mouth.

His tongue darts inside my mouth, swiping against my tongue and my teeth before he pulls away. I watch him as he gently pushes my shoulders, forcing me to lie down on the bed as he stays standing in front of me. I breathe loudly as his hands glide down from my shoulder, past my breasts, down my down and along my thighs.

He spreads my legs open and wraps them around his waist before he holds onto my waist with one hand. His other hands reaches in between us grasps onto his length. He glides the tip along my slit, teasing me as he spreads my slickness onto himself.

He guides the tip right at the entrance and presses against it before he places his hand on the other side of my waist.

Keeping his gaze on mine, he gives one fluid thrust and pushes deep inside of me, completely taking my breath away.

"Harry," I moan, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I arch my back and hold onto his wrists.

"Look at me, baby," he groans.

I force my eyes to open and look over at him. I pant harshly as I see the look of pure pleasure on his face.

With a subtle circle of my hips, he pulls back and thrusts into me again. This time, he doesn't stop, he continues to drive into me, making sure to go slow but deep. His fingers dig into the skin on my waist, pulling me every time he thrusts. His hips move up in waves after each thrust, causing his pelvis to rub against my c.lit.

"Faster, Harry."

I loved the slow drag of his length moving inside of me but I needed him hard and fast tonight. It's been five long weeks without him and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the way he pleasured me.

He tightens his grip around my waist before he pulls back just to leave the tip before he gives a powerful thrust.

"Oh my god! Harry!" I moan as I feel him nudge my g-spot.

He drives into me at the same speed and angle, the sound of smacking skin echoing around the walls of his room.

I force my eyes open again, not realizing that they had closed. I look over at him and almost lose it when I see sweat start to glisten on his skin as his eyes watch in between us, focusing on his length moving in and out of me.

I can feel him hot and hard inside of me and I can see his abdominal muscles start to clench. He goes harder and that's when I feel the burn start to grow in my lower stomach, my heat starting to pulse around him.

As much as I was enjoying this, I wanted him to be closer to me. I needed to feel him against me in as many ways as I can.

I reluctantly push against his lower stomach, catching his attention as he looks up at me and slows the movement of his hips.

I struggle to sit up, grabbing the back of his neck and tug his lips to me. I start to pull him back, holding onto his arm to bring him closer to me and guide him to climb onto the bed. I sit in the middle of the bed and pull away to look at him.

My eyes dart back and forth between his as I contemplate making the next move. There's been something I've been wanting to try for a while now but I wasn't sure if Harry would be into it. I decide to just go for it. So, I turn around in my spot, my back facing him as I take his arms and wrap them around him as I press my back against his chest.

I assume that he's into it as soon as his hands tug me harder against him and as his lips attack the side of my neck. He sits down on his knees, guiding me to sit on top of him. I reach back with one of my hands, tangling into his hair as he continues to suck on the skin of my neck.

I grind my hips against him, causing a low groan to escape from his throat. I can feel him in between my legs and I gasp breathlessly when I feel the tip of his length brush against my c.lit.

Knowing that I can't wait any longer, I sit up slightly and reach down with my other hand and guide his length to my entrance.

Resting my head back on his shoulder, I slowly sit back down, sinking down around his length as deep as he can go. We both release a long breath, the new position already giving me intense pleasure.

As soon as I gain even just a little bit of composure, I lift myself up and crash back down.

"Fuck," Harry groans behind me. His hands grab my hips, gripping tightly as he helps me move up and down as he thrusts his hips up.

I move faster against him, moving up as much as I can go before slamming myself down every time.

I moan out loud when one of his hands reaches up for my breast while his other hand moves down and starts circling my c.lit.

My stomach clenches, making my arch forward. Harry's hand on my breast pulls me back against him and I rest my head back on his shoulder as I breathe harshly.

I try to keep a steady pace as I continue to move up and down his length but Harry starts to thrust hard enough for the both of us.

I can feel myself start to pulse harder around him, the pleasure in the pit of my stomach growing at each thrust.

He moves harder underneath me, his fingers moving faster against my bundle of nerves.

I can't speak. All I can do is moan and gasp as I feel him everywhere. He doesn't stop. He doesn't slow down. He goes at the same mind-blowing pace until the fire spreads and I come around him.

I scream his name as pleasure is pumped through my veins, only getting more intense as I shake and writhe in his strong arms.

Still, he keeps going, prolonging my orgasm to the point that I almost want to tell him to stop as I'm overcome in pleasure.

I continue to pant when I finally come down from my high, feeling my entire body completely weak, causing me to fall forward and rest on my arms. I try to catch my breath and move my away from my neck to cool myself down.

I look over my shoulder and see Harry looking back at me with pure desire and arousal. I only realize now that he's still moving slowly inside of me, his hands still clutching onto my hips as he kneels behind me.

I can see sweat glistening on his neck and his chest and I want nothing more than to turn around and lick it all off. But with my completely wasted body, all I can do is just continue to pleasure him from this position.

Wanting to pleasure him as much as he did for me, I start to move back and forth, meeting his thrusts until the both of us start to move harder and faster. His fingers dig harder into my skin, only urging me to go harder.

I arch my back, angling my hips to take more of him inside of me. He starts to groan at each thrust and then I feel one of his hands glide down my back before stopping at the bottom and using it as leverage to drive himself into me.

I clench around him, wanting him to reach the edge soon as I feel that fire burning in the pit of my stomach again.

He gives a loud moan as he suddenly lurches forward, his chest colliding with my back. He supports himself with one hand on the bed, his other still grasping my hip. Now, as I feel his entire body moving against mine, the pleasure increases just as his thrusts become harder.

I turn my head and lean up to meet his lips in a sloppy kiss, my lips sometimes catching his teeth as he gasps against my mouth.

I can feel him start to pulse inside of me, letting me know that he's close.

I face forward again, trying to catch my breath as I'm completely consumed in everything that Harry's giving me. I give a loud gasp as I feel Harry bite on my shoulder, not too hard but not exactly gentle.

He continues to pound into me and when his fingers suddenly dart to my bundle of nerves, I convulse underneath him with a scream of his name as I come for the second time, this time much more intense.

My entire body shakes as the pleasure goes on and on as he continues to move inside of me. But as my walls clench involuntarily around him, he gives a few more sloppy thrusts before he comes, his entire body shaking as he collapses on top of me, making the both of us fall onto the bed.

"Fuck! Lily..." he moans breathlessly, his hips still moving slowly.

He rides out both of ours highs, his body on top of me and my own spent body not allowing me to move an inch.

He reaches up and clasps his fingers through mine as we both catch our breaths, our faces right in front of each others. He leans in to leave lazy kisses on my lips, not making any move to get off from me, even though I don't want him to.

I can feel my heart pounding against the bed, and Harry's beating just as hard against my back.

When we finally catch our breaths, Harry slowly pulls out, the small movement itself much too sensitive for my skin.

He moves to my side, pulling me against him before he reaches down and pulls the covers up to cover our bodies.

My eyes close as tiredness overtakes me and I rest my leg around his hips and my head on his chest. His arms wrap around me, pulling me against him more until we can't get any closer to each other.

He leaves a kiss on my forehead and I don't even have enough energy to lean up and return it. Instead, I just leave a lingering kiss on his chest before I settle comfortably against him again.

No words needed to be said after that. Our bodies had said enough. It was intense and it was filled with desire and need but it was meaningful and fulfilling. Just what we both needed after the whirlwind of these past few weeks.

As Harry starts to gently stroke my back as I listen to his steadying heartbeat and breaths, I feel the most unwound I've felt in weeks. I've been so tense and stressed and this is what we both needed to let it all go, even if it's just temporary.

It may have seemed that we were only trying to reach for physical pleasure but it was much more than that. We both knew what we were both feeling and we both knew what we wanted. So we gave that to each other the only way that we knew how, the only way that can only be given between the two of us.

We gave and took at the right moments and now, all we needed was just to be in each other's arms, feeling each other's breaths and hearing each others lulling heartbeats. And that's all I could ask for at this moment.

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