Change My Mind

I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone as great as Harry so that’s why I never want to forget this feeling. That’s why I’m scared of moving on. I don’t want to forget what it feels like to be in love with Harry Styles, especially the feeling I got when Harry Styles used to love me back.


9. Arcade

Lily’s POV


I was jolted awake by someone screaming at the top of their lungs and jumping on my bed. I opened one eye and groaned as I saw Ed smirking done at me as he continued to jump.

“Go away, Ed,” I whined, closing my eyes again.


He continued to jump and it was starting to get on my nerves so I wrapped an arm around his legs and pulled as hard as I can, making him fall on the bed.

“Hey!” he yelled.

“I told you to go away.”

“And I said nope.” I felt movement on the bed and I reluctantly opened my eyes to see Ed lying on his stomach beside me.

“What do you want?” I grumbled.

“Well, then. Here I thought that you wanted to spend the day with me on my day off. I get it, you’d rather sleep.” He exaggerated the drama by looking away but remained on the bed.

I couldn’t help the smile that appeared on my face as I turned to my side. I ruffled his hair to get his attention, which worked as he looked back at me.

“I’m sorry, you know I’m not a morning person.” He returned my smile.

“Yes, I’m quite aware that you are not a morning person.”

I laughed. “So, what are we going to do today?” I asked as I yawned.

“Well, first, you are going to brush your teeth because it smells absolutely repulsive.” He pretended to grimace and fan the air in front of his face.

I rolled my eyes and smacked him causing him to laugh.

“I’m joking. No, I was thinking that we’d have a fun day today. Get your mind off of…him. I don’t want you wasting another second thinking about him. If he calls again, I have something to say to him. But right now, today, we’re going to have the best day ever.”

Even though I was reminded of what happened yesterday, I couldn’t help but feel excited for Ed’s plans. I don’t even know what we’re doing and I’m already excited.

I pushed myself up on the bed to lean against the headboard as I looked at Ed.

“What are we going to do?” I asked excitedly.

“First, I’m going to take you out for breakfast and then we’re going to go to the arcade with the lads and the girls and then we’re going to go to the movies and then have a picnic at Harry’s. Both of us talked about it last night when we got home and we wanted to do something to cheer you up.”

I had a huge smile on my face, partly because of the fun day ahead of us, but mostly because of the thought that Harry was thinking of me and that he wanted to cheer me up. And Ed, too.

“That’s really sweet of you guys. Really. I was actually planning on staying home in my sweats and stuffing my face with ice cream but your idea is so much better.”

“Good. Plus, we don’t have ice cream here so your plan wouldn’t have worked anyways.”

“So, I’m guessing you and Harry made up. I saw you two talking last night at dinner and I was gonna ask you about it afterwards but I didn’t get a chance to.”

“Yeah, we did. We talked later that day when I got mad and we talked it out. We put it behind us. It’s like it never happened.”

“That’s good.”

“Now go get ready, we’re going to leave soon.”

“Okay,” I said. He was about to get up but I quickly lurched forward and wrapped my arms around him, tackling him in a hug.

“I love you, Edward.”

“I love you, too, Lil.”

I pulled away and we exchanged smiles before he left my room. I went into the bathroom to take a shower before going back to my room to change into skinny jeans and dark green button up vest shirt. I put my hair into a loose side braid and put on some eyeliner and mascara. I put on my combat boots before heading out to the living room. I saw Ed on the couch watching TV before he turned it off and looked up at me.

“You ready?”

“Yup.” He got up and headed to the door as I grabbed my purse and followed him out.


“So, is there a lucky lady in your life right now?” I asked before taking another bite of my pancakes.

“No. Just focusing on my music right now.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t see you for months and that’s all I get?”

He smiled and rolled his eyes at me. “Sorry to disappoint you. It’s just I don’t think I’d be able to spend enough time or pay enough attention to someone if I were to be in a relationship right now. There will be a time for it eventually, just not right now.”

“Hmm. Well, that’s good. I mean, the part about not being able to be fully devoted to a relationship right now. I don’t think it would be fair for her. Or for you. But, like I said before, if love comes knocking, don’t be so quick to close the door on it so quickly.”

“I know. I just want to make sure that I wait for the right one.”

“Awww, Ed.” He rolled his eyes as I could see him slightly blushing. “I know you’ll find the right one. Any girl who has heard your voice would be mad not to fall in love with you.”

He laughed. “So you’re saying that I can only get a girl because of my voice?”

“Of course not. You’re one of the most amazing people I know. Your voice is just the icing on the cake. The cherry on top of a sundae. The sprinkles on the--”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He chuckled. I smiled back at him.

 We continued to talk about random things before Ed paid for breakfast. We went back to his car and we headed to the arcade. He called Harry on the way and had him call everyone else to meet us there.

“I rented the whole place so we have it to ourselves,” he said after he got off the phone with Harry.

“Ooh, yay. That’s sounds fun!” I was practically jumping in my seat. “I love arcades. And I love beating you at every game.”

He laughed. “You do not! I started letting you win after you beat me up the first time I beat you.”

 I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Ed. Whatever you say.”

We arrived at the arcade place and we went inside to be greeted by the owners. They told us that we had the whole place to ourselves and that we had as much time as we wanted to spend here and told us to let them know if we had any questions. After thanking them, me and Ed headed towards the room full of neon lights and electronic sounds. We played a game of whack-a-mole while we waited for everyone and just as the game finished, we heard people coming in.

We turned around and saw the guys and girls walking in. We walked up to them and exchanged ‘hello’s’ before we all ran around the arcade playing different games.

I walked up to Perrie and El and we walked over to the skee ball machines before we played a match.

“So, how are you, Lily?” Perrie asked. She gave me a sympathetic look before looking back at the game.

“I’m okay, I guess. I’m just trying to move on but it’s kind of hard when he keeps calling me. I should’ve listened to Ed. I shouldn’t have answered. But I’m okay now. Today has been great. I’m glad you guys are here.” I gave them each a smile before focusing back to the game.

“Yeah, don’t waste another second thinking about him. He’s an ass. He doesn’t deserve you. He never did. You deserve someone who will treat you right,” Perrie said.

“Harry,” El said, trying to cover it up by coughing.

Perrie giggled as I stood there and gaped at her.

El shrugged. “What? That’s just my opinion.”

I smiled and shook my head at her.

“Yay! I win!” El exclaimed while jumping up and down.

Me and Perrie laughed at her as the tickets came out of the machine. El grabbed them before we walked around to find another game.

“Babe! Come play basketball with me!” Louis yelled from across the room.

El groaned. “I’ll be right back. I guess he wants to play against someone that he has a shot at winning against.”

We laughed before El went to find Louis.

“Let’s go play whack-a-mole!” Perrie said.

Just as we reached the machine, Zayn appeared from behind us and put his arm around Perrie’s shoulder.

“Can you come get a drink with me?” he asked.

“Can’t you get one by yourself?” Perrie asked.

“No. I need you with me. I missed you.” Zayn proceeded to pout, causing Perrie to roll her eyes.

“I’ll be right back, Lily,” she said before Zayn started dragging her to the little area where they sold food and drinks.

I looked around to look for Ed or Harry but they were all the way in the other side of the room playing basketball with Louis and El. I saw Liam and Niall playing at the foosball table close to me so I decided to go to them.

“Hey,” I said once I reached them. They looked up at me and gave me a smile, pausing their game.

“Hey, Lily. Did you want to come play with us?” Niall asked.

“I don’t know how to play. I probably suck at it.”

“Don’t worry, it’s easy. Come here, I’ll show you.”

I stood beside Niall. “You just have to turn the rods to make your players hit the ball.” He proceeded to demonstrate for me. It looked easy enough.


“Here. We’ll start over and you can be on Niall’s team,” Liam said. He grabbed the ball before throwing it into the table.

I was handling the two front rods while Niall was taking care of the defense and the goalie. I attempted to do what Niall showed me and I was actually pretty good at it. I scored 3 goals in a row before Liam complained and said that it wasn’t fair that it was 2 against 1. That’s when Zayn and Perrie came over to join us and Zayn joined Liam’s team. They got 2 goals in but I was still able to make the next 8 goals to win the game.

“Yes! We won! Lily, you’re awesome!” Niall started jumping in the air before he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a bear hug.

I laughed as I hugged him back. “Hey, we make an awesome team.” We pulled away and just over Niall’s shoulder, I could see Harry looking at me from across the room. I couldn’t see his expression from this far away but I tried to give him a smile. But he just looked away.

I realized what it must’ve looked like but it was just a friendly hug. I have no feelings towards Niall. I only see him as a friend. Hopefully, Harry knows that.

But if Harry’s acting like this, does that mean that he…

“Hey, I’m going to go over to the others for a second. Is that okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s fine. But we want a rematch before we have to leave,” Liam said, smiling at me. I returned it with one of my own.

“Deal. Just prepare to lose again.” They all laughed before Zayn and Perrie started a game against Liam and Niall. I turned around and headed over to the others.

“Hey,” I said, once I reached them. I linked my arm through El’s as we watched Louis play a game of pinball.

I looked over at Harry and saw that he was already looking at me. He gave me a small smile and I returned it with one of my own before he looked away.

I felt my stomach twist.

“Where’s Ed?” I asked once I noticed that he wasn’t here.

“He’s getting some food,” El answered.

Suddenly, she looked between me and Harry and probably noticed the tension between us or the fact that we haven’t said anything to each other since I got here.

“Hey, babe, can you come with me to get a drink?” El asked. Louis looked at her questioningly and I could see El giving him an I’ll-tell-you-later look before she grabbed his arm and hauled him away.

I was tempted to follow her but I knew that I had to stay here and talk to Harry.

“Hey,” I said.

I hesitantly took a step closer to him. He was leaning against a machine as he looked up at me with his arms crossed.


“So, Ed told me that you two planned this day for me?” I asked.


I waited for him to say something else, anything else but nothing came.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” he said, nodding. He looked away now.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. I was starting to get annoyed with his attitude right now.


I rolled my eyes. “Okay, then. I’ll see you later.” I was about to turn around and walk away but I felt him grab my arm and stop me. He pulled me so that I was facing him again and I saw that he was now standing closer to me. I could smell his cologne and that, combined with his touch, was making me weak in the knees.

“I’m sorry.”

I sighed as I looked up at him. “Just tell me what’s bothering you.”

He looked away for a second, looking nervous before he let go of my arm and looked back up at me.

“It’s just…I saw you with Niall…and…you two were hugging…and…”

“Harry. We’re just friends. He just hugged me because we won the game. It was just a friendly hug.” I paused, thinking carefully over my next question. “Why would that bother you, though?”

My heartbeat quickened as I waited for a response. “It doesn’t. I mean, it does, but…I don’t know…”

I really thought he would tell me right then, right there, that he liked me but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy for him.

That is, if he does like me. I still have to keep in mind that we don’t know for sure whether Harry likes me or not.

But I know that I definitely do. And I do not want him to think otherwise, or that I like someone else.

“Well, don’t worry about it, okay?” I said, giving him a smile once he looked back up at me. “Me and Niall are just friends. Nothing more.”

He finally gave me a genuine smile as he nodded. “Okay. Again, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I gave him a reassuring smile. “Now let’s go play a game,” I said. We walked side-by-side, looking for a game that we could play. I could feel the tension disappearing as we made our way around the arcade.

“Let’s try this one.” He walked up to a machine that had a small punching bag hanging from the top.

“This is a strength game. I don’t have strength! This will be so unfair.”

He laughed as he started the game. “You did say that you beat up Ed a couple of times so you must have something.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “That’s true. Let’s just get this over with.”

Harry proceeded to prepare himself before he gathered all of the strength in his body to deliver a hard punch against the punching bag.


I could see his muscles strain against his shirt as he punched. It was actually making me feel faint. I was practically drooling.

I continued to stare at him as he waited for his score to appear.

“823. Try and beat that.” I snapped out of my trance as he looked at me with a smile.

I cleared my throat. “Um, yeah, sure.”

God, I sound like an idiot right now.

I walked over to where Harry was previously standing and got ready for the punch. I mustered up all of the strength I could get and punched the punching bag as hard as I could.

I looked over at the screen and waited for my score to appear.


I felt my cheeks redden as I looked over at Harry and saw him trying to stifle a laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me,” I whined.

He looked over at me with amused eyes. “I’m not laughing.” Just as he was saying the last word, he burst out in laughter.

I should feel embarrassed but his laugh just made me smile. However, that didn’t stop me from walking up to him and lightly shoving him.

“Stop,” I said while laughing myself. “It’s not funny.”

He still continued to laugh, resting a hand on his stomach. His eyes squeezed tightly closed as he laughed and I marveled at how cute he looked right now. His corners of his eyes were crinkled and his dimples were more prominent that I’ve ever seen them.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he said, laughing in between words. Soon, his laughter died down as he looked at me, his eyes watery from laughing.

I was about to shove him again but he grabbed my arm and swiftly pulled me to him before putting his arm around my shoulder.

“I’m sorry. We’ll play games that will be more fair now.”

I couldn’t help but feel nervous with his arm around me. I tried to hide it as we tried to find another game.

“Hey, since we’re all going to the movies tonight, I was thinking we could do something else when we hang out,” he said.

“Yeah, sure. What’d you have in mind?”

He stopped and took his arm off of my shoulder to face me.

“Well, I was actually thinking about maybe working on that deal with you?”

My mind immediately went back to the memory of the two of us sitting in the living room talking about my fear.

“You mean the deal where you sing and play guitar for me and I do the same for you?” I asked.

“Yeah. I was thinking about it and I’d love to help you get over your fear of playing in front of people. What better way than to start with me.” He smiled at me. “So, what do you say?”

I should be ecstatic about Harry offering to help me. It means that I get to spend time with him. I get to share with him something I kept to myself, something that I’ve only been able to share with Ed.

But my fear keeps creeping back up and reminding me how scared I get when I think about playing in front of people. I’ve never actually gotten to the point where I would sing for someone. I would just freeze and end up making an excuse to not sing. I really want to get over my fear and maybe Harry will help me with that.

I should take this opportunity.

“Yeah, sure. That’d be great.”

“Really?” he asked, looking surprised.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t hurt to try,” I said.

“I really thought you would say no. But, yeah, that’s great. We can start this week and see how it goes.”

I just nodded nervously at him as he smiled at me.

“Hey, guys, food’s ready,” Liam came over and called us.

“Okay, we’ll be right there,” Harry replied. Liam nodded before heading back.

I looked back at Harry. “Yeah, that sounds great. Just let me know when you’re free.”

“I will.”

“Shall we go eat?” I asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We walked towards the eating area and sat down across from Louis and El.

We ate and they chatted as I thought over what I just agreed to.

I’ve spent years keeping my love for music to myself and now I just agreed to share it with someone that I met just days ago.

But this wasn’t just anyone; it was Harry. I feel like he can actually help me.

And I feel like this time, I actually want to share it with someone.




This chapter is dedicated to ValTommo91 ! Your comments always make my day :)

Go read her movella 'Loved You First'!




Anyways, good news guys! I'm officially done school for the semester so now I have more time to write! YAY!

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