Becoming Jay

Jay wishes he was a "normal" boy, but he's not. Most boys aren't born in a girl's body. When Jay decides to move forward with his identity, the first person he tells is Samantha, his long time friend and crush. What difficulties will Jay and Sam encounter? Will Jay ever be Jay? And will he and Sam have a happy ever after?

PS This story is about something serious, and being transgender isn't a joke. If you don't like people being trans*, keep it to yourself. It's a real feeling, so don't be a douche about it.


3. Lean on me, when you're not strong

Sam heard the doorbell ring. She ran downstairs, hoping against hope it wasn't who she thought it was. She opened the door with bated breath, and her fears were realised. Jay was standing on her doorstep, in the rain, soaking from head to toe, with a soggy cardboard box in his arms. His face was wringing, but it was clear that he was crying. She said nothing, stepping out into the rain with him, taking the box and putting it inside the door, and hugging him. At first, he just stood there as she held his soggy figure, but then he put his arms around her. He squeezed her tight, holding her as close as he could. He rested his head on her shoulder, sobbing loudly. Sam's mother was walking past the doorway and stopped. She looked at her daughter, caught up in the embrace of this boy, this boy who's family didn't love him because of who he was. Sam had explained it all to her. She looked at how that boy held her daughter close to him, so close that they were almost like one entity. Jay looked up, meeting Sam's mother's gaze. She smiled at him. 
"C'mon in out of the rain, kids," she said quietly. They released each other slowly, Sam taking Jay's hand, and leading him inside. 
"Mum, this is Jay," Sam said, rubbing Jay's hands to assure him he was okay. "Jay, this is my mum, Emma." Emma smiled at Jay, and Jay tried to smile back.
"Would you like to have a shower, dear? Put on something clean and warm?" Emma asked. Jay nodded silently. Sam lead him upstairs to the bathroom, while Emma fetched him some towels. Jay had a hot shower, almost burning the skin off him. He was trying to shock himself into feeling something else. Anything else. He got into pyjamas, shorts and a T-shirt. He couldn't wear a binder to bed, so he put a sports bra on. He was sitting on Sam's bed when she came in and sat down beside him.
"What happened?" she asked him. He stared blankly ahead.
"They were yelling. Really loudly. More at each other than me. Like they were arguing over who's fault it was. "You broke our daughter!" "No you did!" They said I was broken. Crazy. Wrong. Disgusting. They said that I am "Not a boy, never will be a boy, and they will never have a son." They don't want me. They don't love me. I thought I was ready for this, Sammy. I thought I was ready. I wasn't," Jay said, breaking down into silent sobs. Sam put her arm around his shoulders, rubbing his arm. It was no comfort for her boyfriend, who'd been shattered by his parents words. She knelt down in front of him. 
"Honey, listen to me, okay?" she said, gently lifted his chin up, so he was looking straight into her eyes. "You're not a boy. You'll never be a boy. Because you're a man. You're a man, and a strong man at that. You're a brave man. You're a good man. You're *my* man, too. You're not broken, or crazy, or wrong or disgusting. Your parents were describing themselves. You're the strongest person I know, and for this I admire you. What you're going through, I can't begin to understand. I don't know how you're still here despite everything. But you are. And I am here for you."
"Will you lie with me?" Jay asked. Sam nodded. The two of them, in their pyjamas, climbed into the bed, snuggling up under the covers. The lay with their bodies alongside each other, Jay with his arms around Sam, and Sam was holding Jay's arms. They fell asleep in each other's arms, hearts beating and breathing in time. 

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