Like Crazy

Everyone thinks Julia Parker is perfect, but she is nothing close.
She is soon to be facing an arranged Marriage to her dad's close friends son, Harry Styles, though Julia wants nothing to do with him.
But, through Harry she meets Niall who she falls head over heals in love with.
They begin doing things behind Harry's back, and when he finds out, they devise a plan.
But with the wedding coming up, Julia is worried there won't be a way out.
But she can't marry Harry.
Because of Niall.
She needs him, she wants him, she loves him, like crazy.


35. Damn, it felt good to smile

Dear Niall,
It has been said that time heals wounds, but I do not agree. The wounds are still there, and in time the pain lessens but is never forgotten.
I'll never forget you.
I've learned that you can't fix yourself by breaking someone else. I know what it's like to be mad at someone. You think taking it out on them will make you feel better , but it doesn't .
I'm sorry I hurt you Niall .
I could use this letter to explain to you why I have to marry Harry, but I'm not going to. I'm going to use it to talk to you, because you can't interrupt me and I can't get all nervous and forget what I'm going to say . I suppose you could stop reading, but I know you won't do that although I understand if you do.
You were my first love.
I never loved anyone like I loved you, Niall. I don't think I ever loved anyone at all before I met you.
That first night I saw you, there was something about you I liked. Then you danced with me, and that was something I will never forget.
But Niall, I don't want to dance if I'm not dancing with you. I don't want to sing if you're not here to laugh at my lack of being able to do so. I don't want to love if I'm not loving you. Niall I don't want to live if I'm not living with you.
I think about you all the time .
Everything I do reminds me of you in one way or another. I didn't think it would be like this when you left, but it is.
I liked when we sat together for a really long time, and we wouldn't say anything, yet we we're saying everything. It was that kind of silence that made me feel like I had known you forever and I loved it. I liked it when you would text me until midnight, and when you would show up outside my window. I pretended I didn't like it, but I know that you know that I did.
I liked it when you called me baby and when you took me on cute little dates.
I liked you Niall.
But I am not foolish enough to not know that this is the end of those things. So I wanted to say I love you.
I wanted to say that I don't want to marry Harry, that the only person I have ever wanted and ever will want is you.
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong, Niall. I've made myself miserable since I found out I would have to marry Harry, and now it's time for me to be strong. It's time for me to deal with life as it is because I've walked too far down this road to turn back.
And to quote our favorite book Niall,
You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you.
And Niall, I'm honored to have been hurt by you.
I love you.
-Julia Rose Parker

The paper was tear stained and my handwriting was barely legible. I was a crying mess as I licked the envelope closed and wrote his full name as neatly as possible on the front.
I tried to pull myself together as much as possible before leaving the hotel room.
I walked it all the way down to the lobby to the sour looking receptionist.
"Hi, I need this letter delivered to a friend. I believe he is staying here, Niall Horan?" I said.
She took the letter from my hands, examining it.
"Alright," she grunted.
I smiled gratefully at her.
I began my walk back to the hotel room as she began walking a different direction.
I returned to the room to see Harry putting on his coat.
"I have to go do some things for my father, I probably won't be back until midnight," he explained. "Okay," I nodded.
"Julia?" He asked, worry evident in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
" I was only trying to protect you because... Because I care about you Julia, and I know you care about me too. I don't want to ever see you so hurt again."
And when he said it, I knew he meant it. That like it or not we had spent a lot of time with each other and we cared about each other. We were becoming friends.
"Thank you harry," I said, hugging him.
I could tell the gesture surprised him, but he soon hugged back.
We smiled at each other before he left.
And damn did it feel good to smile.
--- It was 10:58 and I sat in the horribly uncomfortable couch in from of the too-small TV watching an old film in a language I didn't understand. It sounded French. But then again, if sounded German.
Just when I was about to admit defeat, I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone but Harry, and I was in a whole different country so getting kidnapped right now wouldn't really be convenient.
I slowly walked to the door, bracing myself as I pulled it open.
I gasped as he pulled me into a hug.
"I got your letter baby . I'm so so sorry. Oh my god I love you so much Julia," he began kissing me passionately, not giving me any time to talk.
His hands latched onto my waist as I wrapped my legs around his torso. His lips moved down my neck, jawline, and collarbone.
I ran my fingers through his hair, moaning softly.
"I love you," I whispered into his ear.
"I love you too baby. Now let me make love to you,"
I nodded.

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