Equus Africanus Asinus

A poem in the style of a letter of complaint, from an unusual sender.


1. Equus Africanus Asinus

Dear Mr Voice-box.

It’s Eeyore Asinus Here.

My Tidings are not pleasant; it’s all bad news I fear.

And sorry, but I have to be honest; I simply must make a complaint.

The usage of my name right now is really less than quaint.

One reason why I want this fixed is that it’s more offensive to the subject.

You name us as if we are scoundrels! It’s simply not correct!

Would a human be offended, if I were to call them a horse?

No because they’re majestic, and beautiful.” Of course!

My kind are present in legends!

We helped Mary along the way!

If you have a problem with the race as a whole, just use your guts and say!

We won’t tolerate this any longer; this has gone on far enough.

The manners aimed at our species, are plainly not up to snuff.

So I pray you remember this letter, next time you call someone an Ass!

The next time that this happens, I will not allow it to pass!

I apologise for my outburst…

But this language this is a farce…

Sincerely, Mr Donkey…

And P.S…

“You are an arse.”

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