Rock N Roll

The TRUE story of what is going on in Avril Lavigne's music video for her song, Rock N Roll.


1. Rock N Roll

Okay, so you may or may not have seen the video where I kick bearshark ass, but you don't know the entire story. I was at this diner with Winnie and Shadow, our trusty dog. There was this girl dressed like a total loser, so I took my knife out and made her outfit better. It turned out awesome! That was when I first saw him.

He didn't look like a bearshark then; he was wearing a costume. The costume was wanted, so he was wearing a fake mustache. I didn't know for sure that it was him, but when I went closer, he said,
"No, no. You have the wrong guy!" I then knew that it was him. I ripped off that fake mustache, and he flipped the table. He grabbed some lady's baby, and he threw it at me! I sort of hit it off to the side, and pursued him with Winnie and Shadow.

"Lobster!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He had thrown a lobster at us, and it had a freakin knife. I may or may not have killed it; I just squeezed it and threw it off to the side. At that point the bearshark had left the diner. Everyone stayed behind, except me, Winnie, and Shadow.

"Shadow, how much have you had to drink?" I asked. "Any?" He shook his head. "Than you drive." Yeah, I know it sounds really stupid to let a dog drive, but Winnie and I trusted Shadow with our lives. "I call shotgun!" I shouted and we ran to the car. We were pursuing the bearshark when Shadow crashed into a tree.

"I told you we shouldn't have let him drive!" Winnie said, as I shook Shadow, trying to revive him. "He said he didn't have that much to drink!" I was freaking out; Shadow was possibly dead, and Winnie was pissed at me. "You know that he had a drinking problem." Winnie complained. "Oh, so this is my fault?" I said sarcastically.

Winnie started to cry, "Nobody could lick his own balls like he could." I started to cry too; Shadow was obviously dead. "Never forget." I whispered. She leaned in and said, "It's gonna be okay." Then we kissed.

It was the first kiss for both of us. We never really talked about it, but I think about the events of that day again and again, and somehow I know that Winnie does, too.

At Shadow's funeral, I put my helmet into the coffin. When I shut it, I saw a weird gear thing on top of it. It matched the badass guitar pick I found. I put it into the gear, and twisted it, and the coffin opened. A freakin badass guitar came out. It had a damn saw on it!

I realized that if I wanted to kill the bearshark, who I didn't know was a bearshark at the time, this was the weapon to do it. He wanted to kill rock n roll, so I could kill him with a guitar saw. I went outside and started playing this really epic guitar rift. Then, I tracked him down.

I found him, and we had an epic face-off in the desert. He ripped off his costume off, and it was a bearshark! "Mutha f***ing bearshark!" I screamed. "Mutha f***ing Avril Lavigne!" It yelled back. I ran at it, and it ran at me. He wacked me, and I went flying. When I landed, I found a new switch on my guitar. I flicked it, and the saw started spinning!

I ran at the bearshark, and decapitated him. I looked down and than forward. A park ranger on one of those things that mall cops ride nodded, and then he flew away! It surprised me, but I knew that the bearshark had been wanted, so he probably didn't mind me killing it.

XOXO, Avril Lavigne!


A/N This is fiction, and Avril Lavigne didn't write it.

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