Like an illusion

Like an illusion (intro)
Intro: You're a 18 years Justin bieber's fan . You graduated from high school 2months ago. You're originally canadian but you live in California. You don't have any friends and cody ,your cousin, is the closest person to you. He's your age and you've been best friends since you were in diapers. He has a crush on you but he's never told u. You think of him as a friend and nothing more.You're suffering from a rare psychological disease . You have illusions from time to time depending on your mood. And it's always related to tour thoughts and feelings. Once you have an illusion You forget about everything around you and just live in the illusion like if it's reality.


29. This hurts


your PoV; 

I ran to the car as cody was waiting for me there as i had told him earlier. I was crying my eyeballs out. I opened the door and got in then slammed it closed. 

I buried my face in my palms , hiding from cody. "Heyyy what's wrong ? Why r u crying ? You r supposed to be jumping from happiness .. What happened?!" He asked surprised. "Just take me home" i mumbled my face still buried. 

"Not until you tell me what happened" he said insisting to know. "Really ? R u fuckin doin' this to me now !! I'm not gonna tell you .. And guess what i'm not going home with u either" i yelled in his face. He was in total shock as i stormed out of the car and started running away.

I felt so guilty after it , i mean why did i yell at him ? He didn't do anything wrong .. He just wanted to check on me. But it wasn't the right time for him to ask me questions. I was already on my nerves .. I took it all on him.

I was angry from Justin ... Actually i think i was angry from myself. 

I was like .. How could u be so trivial and naive to waste your time on him ? How couldn't u tell he was just like the others , an asshole. It was so obvious that he didn't care , everyone noticed it even cody did , but you were blind to see it. Your love for him or should i say your stupidity blinded you ?" I spoke mentally to myself as i kept walking . 

I made sure cody wasn't following me. Why didn't he come after me anyway ? Oh yeah .. I remembered .. Because i acted like a jerk with him and treated him rudely .. I think that's a good excuse. 

I kept walking and wandering around the empty & quite streets. To be honest i was afraid of the scene , it was late at night and no one was in the streets , they were empty. Not mentioning that it was starting to get cold and i didn't bring a jumper or anything. 

As i was walking , i noticed a park at the end of the street. I decided to walk to it. I reached the park and thought for not million but thousand of times about getting in there or just going back home. 

"Well I can't face cody now , i can't go home after what i've done ... Anyway what's the worst thing that could happen to me if i got inside there ? Get killed ? It'd be great .. I don't care about living anymore." I thought. 

Justin's PoV; 

Ugh today was exhausting. The concert , the M&G and .. Oh yeah the M&G was the craziest. I can't stop thinking about that girl.

Ugh why am i thinking too much about her? Her words kinda hurt me .. What ? No no i'm JUSTIN BIEBER and no one can hurt me .. But she .. How could she ? How could she yell at me that way? No one has ever yelled at me since i was a little kid. 

"Heyyy whats up dude?" Fredo exclaimed as he stormed inside my room and jumped on the couch. 

He dragged me outta my thought which were annoying me. I wasn't in a good mood at all. "You know there's something called knocking" i said giving him a dirty look. 

"Oooh the biebs is annoyed !!" He yelled mocking. "You better stay outta my face fredo" i warned him while staring at my laptop. I was watching a porn movie. "C'mon man .. Why the drama ?" He said as he punched my arm playfully. "Nothing" i replied cold.

I was quiet annoyed and i tried as much as i could to avoid talking about it.

"Is it because of that insane girl from the M&G ?!" He asked.

I was literally shocked . How did he know about it ? No one was there except for me and the securities .. And i threatened them that if anyone one of them opened his big mouth about it , he would be fired. Oh it couldn't be her ? She told everyone already ?! 

"H-how did u know about it?" I asked confused. "Man it's all over twitter .. Everyone is talking about it .. 'THE GIRL WHO YELLED AT JUSTIN BIEBER' i bet you'll find it in the newspaper tomorrow .. This girl became famous now and i bet she doesn't even know it because your fans had tried to contact her but they failed" fredo explained. 

"Oh. My. God" i said. 

"But how did the fans know about it?" I asked after a while of thinking even more confused, if it's not her who spread the news., then who did it? 

"Man they know everything .. They're better than FBI lol" he laughed. I wasn't in the mood of laughing at all . I just rolled my eyes. 

"Hey wanna play?!" Fredo said handing me the PS3 controller. 

I was so mad and he wasn't helping at all .. Actually he was making it worth. I got up and went out .. He called my name several times but i ignored him and stormed out of the bus. 

I just walked in the dark empty streets wandering around. I dug my hand in my pocket and took my phone outta it. I opened twitter and saw it. Everyone's talking about it. 

I was surprised when i saw the fans supporting her. I was like .. you stupid spoiled brats ! You should be defending me not standing by her side. Ugh they got on my nerves. 

They were tweeting things like , "she's right .. He used to care but now he doesn't" "he's not kidrauhl anymore" "we miss the old Justin" "come back old Justin" "where did u go kidrauhl?" 

I hate to say this but i realized they were right. I'm not me anymore. I'm lost . I'm drowning . I'm treating them like shit while i'm the one who's supposed to treat them like princesses. I took them for granted which is something i regret. Like the girl said , they're the ones who got me here , if it's not for them after God of course , i would've still been the stratford kid whose mom works 24/7 to afford his necessities. 

I kept scrolling and i saw a video with the name "We miss Kidrauhl" . I clicked the link and it opened. 

I watched it , old pics of me , singing on steps of the avon theatre , playing drums at home , meeting fans back at 2009 And 2010 ... So many memories were revived. 

I had a quick flashback of those years. I was so close to the fans .. Actually i used to call them My Beliebers. I was so innocent. But i'm not that person anymore. I don't even know why are they still here for me ? Why haven't they given up on me ? I don't deserve them .. They're amazing unlike me. They're the exact opposite of me . I'm a selfish jerk but they're kind and sweet. 

I noticed few tears streamed down my face , i wiped them fast and stopped walking. 

I looked around trying to recognize the place where i was. I found myself in front of a park and it seemed so quite .. There was no where in there. That's exactly what i was looking for , somewhere quite and has no people.

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