Dumb Fanfiction Moments

Just doing some dumb fanfic moments. Please don't take these offensive! thank you!

Most of this is about one direction because most of those fanfics are crazy! Don't get mad or offended about these! This is suppose to be a laugh. HA! thanks! completed!


8. 151-205

151: when the story changes point of views and it doesn’t keep up with continuity. Like at the beginning she had her panties tugged off and then later during the sex scene the guy is pulling her jeans AND panties off. Again. Also it starts out by saying “me and him” then changes to ‘you and him” then “she and him” and sometimes a random name “and him” sometimes in the same sentence. FUCKING PROOFREAD BEFORE PUBLISHING DUMBFUCK!

152:  when a girl is driving and her car breaks down and she goes to a nearby farm to seek help and Niall is taking care of a horse and they introduce themselves and she tells him her situation and his dad walks out and says he can fix the car so when he’s gone she and Niall fuck on some hay and then her dad comes back just after they’re done and she drives away like what the fuck.

153: Girl: I had always liked colored eyes more, but his brown orbs were so captivating.

Me: Brown isn't a color? Me: So my eyes are just colorless? Me: Okay, cool. *eye roll*

154: I went to Starbucks and someone spilled coffee on me and it was Louis Tomlinson.’OMGZ srry beautiful. I luv u’ he said. ‘Oh Lou’ I said. Then Zayn gawt mad cuz i used all his shampoo oops. And all niall wanted to do was eat Nandos. ‘Yay, lets go eat carrets!!1!!111! Louis said and we got married and had babies. The end.

 155: "Harry, I'm pregnant with your baby," Niall said. 

156: "OMG, I'm pregnant with Harry's baby. Or was it Louis. Oh wait no, Liam. But it could have been Niall. Nah, it was Zayn. I think." 

157: ZUX

158: When they’re ‘getting it on’ and one of the boys calls her ‘his little slut’ or ‘my whore’. Like no, they are fucking cupcakes.

159: "Louis caresses your face in his hands before shouting NO JIMMY PROTESTED! and firing carrots out of his eye socket."  I AM SO DONE!

160: "He sang like an angle." Oh which kind??? Obtuse or acute?

161: Harry's chocolate curls waterfalled over his forehead." Since when is this Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?

162: talking about penis colors.

163: Louis shoving a carrot in your vagina.

164: When the main girl says, “I apply a light layer of makeup because I’m naturally beautiful.” Yet she’s so unpopular like, if you’re so unpopular it must be your bad personality cuz it sure ain’t your natural beauty…

165: Girl: I cant believe I saw Harry kissing that girl! He said he loved me even though we met about 12 minutes ago! (Well, you did say that you werent going to have sex with him until you were married) Harry: NO! That super evil and slutty and cakeface ex of mine forced me to kiss her and I know *girl* saw (You didnt have to mother fucking kiss her, tilt your head or something come on!) Girl: I kept running, how could he betray me like that? (You dumb shit) Harry: No *girl* stop, it isnt what you think! *GIRL* (she dosent believe in putting out so you should probs stay with the slut) Girl: The last thing I heard was Harry calling my name before everything went black. (What kind of dumb shit just runs onto a road?) Harry: Its all my fault she got hit by that car. I feel so bad. Imma stay by ur bed because u r in a coma (you do know that you have a band right?) Girl: I woke up, my head hurt (no shit you got hit by a mother fucking truck!) Nurse: He has been by your bedside all the time! (ugh) Girl: Harry, I dont care. Ily. (I can only hope to have a love story this willing to look past common sense and probability)

166: leaves classy family dinner to bang in the bathroom.


according to fanfics the only way you can get a celebrity to fall in love with you is if you:

"apply light natural makeup, pull on an oversized knit sweater, and throw your hair up in a messy bun."

168: "he entered my opening"- wot ur not finding a cave?

169: When the author spends like 6 hours describing a dress and then posts a picture that looks nothing like the description.

170: oh I'm 14 and you're 21 but let's have sex...it's okay.

171:  "I'm shy, virgin, never had a boyfriend...oh I'm also a supermodel"

172: "I have front row tickets but I don't even like one direction omg.."

173: they are dating an arsehole and Zayn is in love with them and the continue seeing their bf.

174:the girl has never had a bf or sexual thing before. But they fuck like a prostitute.

175: I palmed his penis through his jeans- ...wot.

176: I gently stroked his growing member...

177:  when the fanfic goes on hiatus for a year and then gets deleted..

178:  "Im a virgin" says the girl whilst shes riding liams massive dick without any pain..

179:  when they have sex everyday for like a month, what happened to a period???? if you dont have it yet, youre too young.

180:  "He slid his hand around my waist and i barely noticed"- bitch you noticed so much that you're writing about it..

181:when a 12-year-old tries to write a sex scene- do u even know what sex is? ur not E.L. James. plz stop trying

182:"He released a moan from deep inside his soul." WOT? Is he like a demon or something?!

183: "our tongues battled like two starving African children fighting over a pale of water" r u ok?

184: "My tongue explored his mouth" Sorry I didn't realize you were Dora the Explorer

185: "He stared at me hungrily" what are you? A fucking cheesecake?


187: When the only shoes Louis owns is Toms

188: when a girl is dating one of the boys then suddenly all the other boys fall in live with her too

189: "I've hit by a bus and abandoned by my family, no one loves me, except for liam Payne"

190:when the main girl is ed sheeran's 19 year old daughter, i guess ed fathered a child at the age of two

191: "he inserted his manhood into my heat"

192: i-i stutter a lot because i d-dont know h-how to t-talk without looking into h-his green ORBS orbs oRBS orbs ORBS

193:  "but harry i can't, im 9." "i don't care, i will still love you."

194: "but daddy, I love him."

"You're nine!"

195: when the parents die, they're never mentioned again and the main character is smiling and laughing the next dAY

196: "he left a small peck on my cheek" what is he a bird or something i dont get it.

197: "so where do u live" "I have my own flat in london" "how old r u" "13"

198: "how old are you" "13" *the boys fall in love with her*

199: "i wuz drunk hezza it wus a accident didnt meen to slep w/ zain" "oky i luv u bby"

200:  i fainted at a 1D concert and woke up on a sofa in Harry's house but i hated 1D

201:  "he kisses me our tongues battle for dominance like the african army protectin nd fightin for their homeland and privacy"

202: i dont always bump with someone on the street but when i do it's a guy from One Direction...

203:  "Louis!" Eleanor screamed as she dropped her double moccha vanilla peppermint soya skim vanilla latte.

204: "bundle of nerves" "member" "package" "length" "making love"

205: your parents don't realize ur getting fingered under the dining room table


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