7th of May

Potentia has just moved. She now lives all alone for the first time. She wants to escape the everyday-life, and just be by herself. Caspian is trying to win her heart, but her past is filled with struggles. Will she ever be able to trust again?

We read the diaries of the broken Potentia and the passionate Caspian.


7. It's okay to cry - Caspian

24th of December

The snow is falling slowly to the ground. I’m sitting by the window. It’s the first snow this year. It takes lots of energy just to get out of bed. It hurts. Someone stabbed me with a knife, and it knife has been stuck for months. I feel dead. I don’t remember the last time I smiled. Forgive me Father, for I have doubted in you. Forgive me for I am doubting in you. Forgive me for I have sinned.

I’m standing outside in the cold. My fingers, ears and feet are burning. The snow is biting my cheeks. I want to cry, but I can’t. Instead, I look at the moon. I look at her. She is absolutely beautiful. I haven’t seen her in a while now. I’m glad I went outside.

Later that night, I went down to the lake. The little pond. In my head, those are the same thing. There was a small layer of snow. About one and a half centimeters, I pursue.

I haven’t been able to do anything the last five months. I haven’t been able to live. All my chickens are gone and it’s all my fault. Potentia is gone and that’s also my fault. I have been feeling less for so long. I’m empty both mentally and physically. I haven’t been able to earn money because of my loss. All I’ve ever had is gone. I’ve lost everything except for the house. I’ve prayed every day for Potentia to return, but nothing happened. I am sorry for my doubt in you, Lord. Forgive me. Forgive me for my final sin.

There was a big branch by the water. I decided to sit on it as it was my only option to rest.

I shed a tear. I shed a few tears and looked down. I saw my reflection in the frozen water. I looked pathetic. I felt small and weak. I starred at my reflection. What had I become?

I noticed something. I noticed something in the water. Something unusual. I got up and went out on the ice. It looked like a piece of paper. In all confusion, I went down on my knees with my hands tied to the ice. As I got closer, I found out what it was. An old creased piece of paper saying:

I love you

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