My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death


10. Realization

                “HARRY EDWARD STYLES!” Anne yelled as she stormed through the front door.

                “Shit! Go! Out the back!” Harry panicked as he pushed Louis out the door.

                Anne turned the corner into the living room to see Harry sleeping, well pretending to be. “HARRY!”

                “Huh?” Harry responded with a fake groggy voice.

                “Whose car is outside?!”

                “I don’t know. I didn’t even know there was a car out there.”

                “Sure! I swear harry, if I find out that you had some boy over here, I will personally pack your shit up and throw you out!”

                Harry’s heart stopped when he heard that. He hoped that Joya, his neighbor, wasn’t home and saw Louis come and go.

                “Mum, I have no idea what you are talking about. I came downstairs to watch some telly and I guess I fell asleep. Why are you home early anyways?”

                “I came to check on my precious little angel, since he is sick”

                Harry tried to hold back a laugh. His mum had never cared about him before. And “precious little angel”, who was she trying to fool. “Well, I still feel ill so I am going back to my room” Harry lied.

                He lied down on his bed and put his earphones in.  He was trying to replay the events over and over in his head. He was stunned.

I had only just admitted to myself that I had a crush on Louis, but then for Louis to go and kiss each and every one of my cuts. It did something to me. I swear my heart stopped. Why would he do that? Maybe he is just playing with me. Maybe he is just being nice. But no one is nice to me, not even my family. So why would a guy that I just met a couple of days ago be nice to me? Maybe he thinks that I am some charity case and only pities me. That has to be it. Because no one likes or is even friends with Harry Styles the school loon.

                Harry began to feel the monsters creeping back in his head again. He knew he couldn’t give in. If he gave in, Anne’s threat to put him back in the hospital would become a reality. He turned up his music louder, as he did every time that he wanted to drown out the monsters. Same Love by Macklemore was the only thing he wanted to hear. He felt as this song talked about him. He felt like maybe someone out there actually understood him and that others out there were going through the same things he was.

Louis POV

As soon as Harry pushed me out the door, I ran straight to my car and drove off. I did even have time to think about what just happened. What I just did. What I just saw. I needed to think. I needed to process everything. I drove to the nearest car park and sat there.

What came over me? Why did I do that? I mean yeah, Harry is pretty fit. Hell he is more than fit if that is even possible. Why did I kiss his arms? I think I know, but am I ready for that. Am I ready to admit that ever since I saw Harry practically shaking in the corridor that day that my heart practically stopped at how beautiful he is? Do I really have a crush on Harry? And even if I do, does he even like me? I mean I just came into his life a couple of days ago. Of course he doesn’t. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t even know me.

I sat there and thought some more. All these thoughts were overwhelming, but the more I thought about it, the more things became clear to me.

I never understood why Miss. Teasdale put me with him. He never got a chance to tell me his story. But things were all starting to make sense. Harry is broken. He needs someone. He needs me. Maybe I can fix him. I meant what I said. I can protect him. I can protect him from Zack and all the others at our college. The only thing I don’t know if I can protect him from is his self. I can be his rock. The one he leans on. The one he calls when he is hurting and confused. I need to do this. This is why, I know now. Our stories are way too similar. I need Harry Styles and he needs me, even if he doesn’t see it yet.

Harry’s POV

                Harry happened to look over at his nightstand to see his phone light up. There was a text from an unknown number. He grabbed his phone and read the text.

Hey, everything alright ~Louis xx

                Harry didn’t know how to reply. All he could think is why was Louis texting him and how did he get his number?

Yeah I guess. How did you get my number? ~H

You guess? I’m here for you Haz if you wanna talk, always. I called myself from your phone when you put the movie in earlier. ~Louis xx

Oh ~H

                Harry still didn’t know what to say. This was all knew to him. He wanted to believe that maybe Louis thought he was fit and had a crush on him, but the monsters in his head told him otherwise. They told him that no one would ever love a tall lanky boy with unruly curly hair and acne. It wasn’t possible.

I just wanted to check up on you. You seemed kinda shaken when you forced me out the door. ~Louis xx

Yeah, I am fine. My mum well doesn’t approve of me having people over. She is kinda strict. ~H

Oh ok. I just wanted to check up on you. And Haz, I meant what I said. You can talk to me anytime, and I will protect you. ~Louis xx

                Harry sat his phone down as a huge smile came across his face. He couldn’t help it. Louis seemed like he actually cared and that is all Harry ever wanted. To be cared for and fit in. He was starting to get there.

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