My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death


21. My Rock

                “I GOT IN!!!! I GOT IN!!!!” Louis yelled as he ran into the flat with a letter in his hand.

                “You got into what?” Harry asked as he peered around the kitchen corner.


                “I am so proud of you love” Harry said as he jumped into Louis’s arms kissing him. “Let me see!” He read over the letter carefully. “WAIT WHAT? EARLY ACCEPTANCE!” Harry dropped the letter and backed away with tears in his eyes. “ Y-y-you are gonna leave me.” The tears streamed down his face as he ran into the bathroom and locked himself in.

                “Babe? Please come out. Please?”

                “No, and don’t call me that.”

                “Harry please, just listen to me.” When Louis got no response he slide down the door and threw his head back against the door.

                “You are wasting your time. I am not coming out, and I am done speaking to you.”

                “I am not going anywhere Harry. I am staying here until you come out.”

                The door flew open and Louis fell backward. “YES YOU ARE! YOU ARE LEAVING ME!!! YOU ARE GOING TO UNI AND LEAVING ME!”

                “I am not leaving you Harry.”

                “YES YOU ARE” Harry yelled as he stormed passed Louis and into their bedroom. He grabbed his suitcase and started throwing clothes in it.

                “Where are you going?”

                “I’m leaving you before you can leave me.”

                “Harry stop! You are being ridiculous.” Harry ignored him and kept throwing clothes into his suitcase. “HAROLD STOP!” Louis yelled as he grabbed Harry from behind ripping the shirts from his hands. “STOP NOW STOP PLEASE STOP!”

                “I can’t! I really can’t! Do you not understand? Everyone in my life has left me, everyone except Gemma. She is the only one who has always stood by my side. She is the only one who never left me. I thought that you would never leave but I guess I was wrong. Now excuse me” Harry pushed passed Louis and made his way back to the bathroom, once again locking the door behind him.

                “Harry, babe, please you can’t do this.” Louis stood outside the bathroom door begging and pleading with Harry to come out. He refused to speak or even acknowledge that Louis was even there. Minutes later, Louis heard a crash. “HARRY?!” No response. “Harry open the door now or I will break it down.” No response. “Harry please, open the door.” No response. Louis couldn’t wait any longer, he began to panic. He broke the door open to see Harry sitting there with a very familiar blade in his fingers. “Oh, Harry baby.”

                Harry looked up at Louis, “You know this has always been my outlet. It always helped. You hurt so bad on the inside that you need to feel it on the outside.”

                Louis sat down on the ground next to him, wrapping his arm around him, pulling him close. “It’s okay baby. There is no need for that. I am here.” He took a hold of Harry’s hand and pried the shiny piece of metal from his fingers.

                “It hurts Lou, it hurts so bad. You can’t leave. You are the only reason I am still here. You are the reason I am still alive. I don’t care if you are not leaving this relationship, but you are leaving me physically. I know that I am not strong enough to handle things on my own. I never have nor will I ever be. I can’t walk the hallways at school knowing that you aren’t there. I can’t. I can’t Louis. I just can’t. Zack has left me alone. I can only imagine how he will react when he finds out that you aren’t around Lou. He will go back to beating the living daylights out of me. He will make my life at school hell. And I already know what you are going to say, but no matter who you get to protect me, no one will ever protect me like you did Lou. No one can. It is only something you have been able to do. People have tried for years. You can’t leave Louis, you can’t. I know that this sound selfish, but without you there is no reason to be. There is no reason for me to stick around. I am helpless, defenseless. I just can’t live without you Louis.”

                Louis didn’t know what to say. He was stunned at first, but when he opened his mouth to speak, everything came out as he intended. “Harry I know it hurts, but like I said I am not leaving you. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain. I applied to the school after we were together. I had a plan. I made sure that my plan was okay with my grandfather first. Remember how me and him stood outside and talked forever on Christmas. I was asking him if I got accepted if he would be willing to still pay for my education and place to live. He agreed Harry. But he added something else. He said he could see how happy I was with you and vice versa. He said that he hadn’t seen me that happy in years that he wouldn’t want to ruin that. He said he would pay for me and you to have an apartment near the university and he would pay for you to go to the college that is just down the street from it. Harry I am not leaving. We are leaving. We are going to move, together, me and you. You are gonna have a new life there. No one at the new college will know you or your past. You can start over from the beginning. So there is no need to be hurt. And Harry, you are not helpless or defenseless. You are strong and wonderful. Don’t ever forget that, but if you ever do, remember I made a promise. I made a promise to protect you and take care of you. I made a promise to be your rock.” When Louis finished, he saw that Harry still had had tears in his eyes. He reached and wiped them before placing a kiss to Harry’s lips. “Your rock.”

                Harry smiled, kissed Louis again, pulled away and smiled once more. “My Rock.”



A/N:  I hope you guys liked it. I am going to write an epilogue sometime within the next couple of weeks. I have a lot going on so there is no telling when i will be up. please let me know what you guys thought, like i said this was my first fanfic.

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