My Rock

Louis Tomlinson is a senior in college. He’s popular, outgoing, and always willing to help anyone in need. Harry Styles is an introverted sophomore who receives constant harassment and bullying because of who he is. He doesn’t fit in, he’s shy, has no friends, and no real family to confide in; the fact that he’s gay doesn’t help matters. He’s just a blip on everyone’s radar, floating by, but a punching bag to those who loved reminding him how much of a loser he really was. When Harry was hospitalized months before for a suicide attempt, Louis was assigned to him through the Big Brother program. Will Louis be able to help Harry? Will Harry be able to let Louis in?

A/N: This is my fist fic. I give it a trigger warning because it deals with self harm and suicide attempts and thoughts… there is no actual death


19. Harry's Story

                Louis sat next to Harry’s bed, hand in hand; nothing was going to pull him away. All he wanted was for his love to wake up. Harry had been in the hospital for two days now and no sign of consciousness. Louis hadn’t left. He was afraid that if he did something would happen and he wouldn’t be there.

                “Harry? Babe? Please wake up. Christmas is in three days. You love Christmas, I know you don’t want to miss it. Harry please wake up” Louis begged as tears flowed down his cheeks.

                “He looks so fragile, like he will break if you touch him” a voice said from the doorway.

                Louis whipped his head around to see Gemma standing there. “Gemma?! You came.”

                “Of course I came Lou, he is my little brother. I love him.”

                Louis smiled and turned back to Harry. “Harry, Gemma is here. You should really wake up and talk to her. “ “I don’t know why I try Gemma, I don’t know if he can even hear me. I like to think he can, but I really don’t know.”

                “I believe he hears you Lou. He is just stubborn, always has been. He does things when he is ready.”

                “What if he is never ready Gem? What if he never wakes up?”

                Gemma walked over to Louis, grabbing a chair and sitting next to him. “He will wake up Louis; you just need to believe it. Just show him how much you love. That’s all he has ever wanted, he wanted to be love. You love him Lou. I know you do. He loves you too.”

                Louis smiles. “You know Gem, he talks about you all the time. He is always telling me stories from you guys childhood. He tells me about the time you all went to the park and you chased him around the jungle gym with a cricket in your hand. He said you liked to torture him with bugs. He said you wouldn’t stop until he tripped over the slide and fell into a big mud hole.”

                “I remember that. He cried like a baby, he said I made him mess up his hair. Not like he ever did anything to it anyway” she laughed. “He has always been obsessed with his hair. He said that one day when he became a famous singer he would be known for his curls. He just got lucky with his hair.”

                “He never told me he wanted to be a singer. He never really has mentioned what he wanted to do after college.”

                “He never tells anyone Lou. He is afraid that people think that he is horrible and will only embarrass himself. But I told him if he didn’t do at least try, I would drag him to the X Factor auditions and make him do it.”

                “He did once tell me that he wanted to be a doctor. He didn’t know what kind, but he knew he wanted to help people.” Louis sighed. “I wish he would talk to me more Gem, there are so many days when I feel like I am losing him. Like he hides who he truly is not only from me but also from himself, I wish he could just feel comfortable with whom he is.”

                “I know what you mean. He always does that. Like I said, he cares what people think, sometimes a little too much, but it is who he is.”

                “Is that why he gets hurt so much every time he talks to Anne?”

                “Of course! Even though she is a bitch, he still cares what she thinks because she is our mother.”

                “Yeah, I understand.” Louis reached up and stroked Harry’s hair out of his face. “Gemma?”

                “Yeah Louis?”

                “Harry has a story, he told me he would tell me when time was right, but we have been together three months now and he hasn’t said a word.”

                “Umm, I don’t know what he would tell you, but I guess I can try.”

                “Please?” Louis asked, looking up to Gemma with hope in his eyes.

                “Mum got married to a guy when Harry and I were both young. He wasn’t a nice person. Everything that went wrong in the house or in his life, he would blame me and Harry. That is when Harry and I became inseparable. We did everything together. I think it was when Harry was in primary school he came to me and told me he loved his best friend Ben. I told him that you are supposed to love your friends; he didn’t really understand what I meant. But he said no, he LOVES his friend. It took me a second to catch on to what he was saying. When I finally caught on I told him that it was okay. That it didn’t make him any less of a person, that I was proud of him for realizing it so early. He asked me if it would be okay if he asked our mum if he could invite Ben over to hang out. When she agreed the next day, Harry asked him to come over to our house for dinner. Ben of course said that he would. They hung out in his room playing music and just cutting up like friends do. It was almost time for dinner when mum’s husband walked in and saw Harry and Ben kissing. He flipped out and told Ben that he had to go home, that his kind wasn’t welcomed in his house. It broke Harry’s heart. That was the day he started self-harming. I was the only one who knew. I told him I would never tell. I have kept that promise to this day Louis. I know I should have told back then, but things weren’t looking good for my baby brother. Mum and Dusty, her husband, kept fighting. They evidently got a divorce. Mum blames Harry. Ever since then, she has been nothing but mean to him. She doesn’t see it. She sees it as tough love. She thinks it will change him, but we all know it doesn’t work that way.”

                Louis had tears in his eyes once again. “Wow Gem, I am so sorry. I know what that is like. My story is actually very similar; I guess that is why we were paired together.”

                “I’m sorry to hear that Lou. I may not know you all that well, but know I am here for you as well” Gemma said as she hugged Louis.

There was a silence in the room that was broken with a mutter, “L-Louis? G-Gemma?” Both Louis and Gemma whipped around to see Harry’s bright green eyes open for the first time in two days.

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