Raging on paper

Maci had always been that special child no-one really understood. In that way she was like her mother; misunderstood...


2. Energy drink

Maci's P.O.V.

     It was getting late, like twelve am kinda late. Tonight I didn't really feel like sleeping, more like doing something with my life. Hmm what should I do... hmm. I turned on my iPod, turned it on shuffle, brought out my notebook and started writing. Some story of a pure girl from an orphanage who found out she was actually an ANGEL? I might wanna rewrite that.., or I could just leave it if I'd feel like continue writing later on. I turned to a new page, uhmm, what to write...

     At the end I decided to write about Cookie. Cookie's a character who always come to my mind, if I'm feeling down she'll cheer me up, if I'm happy she'll be happy with me. Okay that actually sounded crazy, even to me. Damn I'm freaking myself out, and it takes a lot to freak me out... But Cookie is like this over confident girl, she's hyper and crazy in a cool way, everybody likes her. She's a blogger/vlogger, her fandom's called cookies, her favorite food is cookies, so she's like joking with the fact that she's eating her own fandom.

     I'd been writing for quite a while now, I know because my eyelids are starting to grow heavy, I sighted and took the two steps from my bed to my closet, yeah my room is that small, but at least I don't share, so it's actually fine. When I reached my closet I bend down to where I was hiding all my energy drinks. I took four, and took the whole two steps to my bed. Really hard! I think I just made enough exercise for the rest of the month... Haha just kidding, more like the next two months...

     I tried getting comfy in my bed, witch is a bit hard when it's hard as stone, but I did it, and as soon as I got comfy I opened one of the energy drinks and took a large sip, just to keep myself from falling asleep. I reached for my notebook, so I could keep writing when one of my absolute favorite songs of the moment started blasting through my earphones; Emblem3 with 3000 Miles. I know it's sad, but it kinda reminds me of all the friends that had left me, never to return. Sometimes I feel like home is where my friends are, and since I don't have any family left, that must make just a little sense, and most of my friends are actually 3000 or more miles away.

     I sighted as I shook the feeling of loneliness off of me, and instead started rereading the last written page. It didn't really make sense, so I decided to flip to a new page and start writing something else. Enough of Cookie I thought, and started writhing about a blue rabbit from the land of rainbows and unicorns. Seriously when I get my doze of energy drinks even what I write stops making sense. After finishing the story about Mr. Blue Rabbit, I decided to stop writing for then, witch probably was for the best, and instead starting to draw things, things I've seen, things from my imagination.

     One thing I've always heard, but never really believed was that I could draw. People always told me I was gifted when it came to drawing, it was also the same people who told me I probably had the gift from my mom. I of cause would always disagree, my mother was an artist, and I'd never be just half as good as her. And second of I'd always get a little mad, cause no-one, and I mean no-one should ever talk about her. They didn't know her, at least not the way I did... They didn't know of her obsessions of God, angels, people, trees and birds. They didn't know her as I did.., they never will.

     I looked down at the paper in front of me, without even noticing I've drawn an angel, when I brought her closer to my eyes to see the details I recognized the angel as my mother, though I never talk about her I think about her all the time. How would things have been if she was still around? I don't know, but I guess they would've been better in some way. But the bottom line is; I don't know. I miss her, I really do, and I'll never forget what it was like to see her body fly through the air, only to see her face smashing down the asphalt. Sometimes, when I dream, I see it, replaying in my mind over and over again. It scares me, a lot, but there's not really anything I can do about it.

     A ray of sunlight hit me on the face, I looked up to see it was coming through my window, surprise surprise, it didn't just come from nowhere. Outside the sun was rising, revealing the beautiful shades of red, orange, yellow, purple and blue spread across the sky. Beside my bed was lying four empty cans from the energy drink. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall across the bed, it read six am, normally I'd be asleep at this hour, even if I'd had one of my 'no-sleep' nights. Once again I felt my eyelids grow heavy, so I promised myself to draw one more drawing, then go to sleep.

     I of cause ended up drawing a panda, which looked pissed drunk. Yeah, I have a weird imagination, when that's the kinda things that pups into my mind. I put away my notebook and yawned, hiding my face under my thin cover I tried to go to sleep, afraid of what I might see.

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