Dear Agony

I can't even anymore. Seeing them in the hallways, in our classes, at lunch, on Facebook and Instagram, and sometimes through my window when I'm lying around the house. It hurts like hell. I'm friends with them both but lately, it hurts more than usual. The moment I think I'm getting over them, I think of something or I see something, or some idiot says something, and it comes back full force.

(The title comes from the song Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin.)


10. They Don't Know About Us

(A/N I'm feeling like I'm the shit today so here you go beautiful people!! Might switch POVs a few times, idk it depends on how it progresses. Enjoy chapter 9 peoples!! Also, the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri is one of my best friends fav songs and I may have based Kaci on her so yeah enjoy!)


Kaci's POV

I wake up with Alex still tangled around me. I look at her clock and notice its only 6 am and we don't have to be to school till 11:45 because of some random teacher thing they announced yesterday. I try to get up and go to the bathroom but Alex just tightens her hold on me and mumbles, "No Kaci. Five more minutes." I laugh softly and slowly turn around to face her.I trace her forehead and watch it crinkle a little. I trace her cheekbones, her nose, her lips, her whole face. I trace around four more times before she speaks, "You know, this would actually be pretty creepy if it weren't so cute." I was on her lips when she spoke so my thumb is kinda just lightly resting there. I cup her cheek in my hand and brush her lips with my thumb and I can feel her breath hitch. I smile softly, not so secretly loving that I have this affect on her.

Alex's POV

I can't help but turn my head slightly to kiss her palm once again. I've always wanted to do that. "Morning Haz." I smile, I love when she calls me that. "Morning Boobear." She smiles and kisses my cheek. She looks down and I realize I'm still holding her, "Ummm my bad Boo." I let go and she grabs my hand, tugging me out of bed with her. "Where's the bathroom?" I give her a rag and a spare toothbrush and she goes in. She's in there about forty-five minutes and when she gets out, I rush in because I really have to pee. After I wash my face, brush my teeth and grab a brush - my hair is everywhere and just no - I walk downstairs to see Kaci in the kitchen making breakfast. I grin and sit at the counter to wait. Kaci's the best cook, I'm pretty okay but I usually just order takeout or eat a PB&J.

I move so I'm sitting on top of the counter and I just watch her. She looks so perfect. I'd love to wake up to her cooking me breakfast every morning, it's such a lovely sight. She's floating around the kitchen like a goddess as I'm telling her where things are. After about 10 minutes, everything is done. She made toast and some omelets. I get some fruit out of the fridge; strawberries, raspberries, cantaloupe, and some honeydew.


After we eat, Kaci scoops up my plate and before I can stop her, she's washing the dishes. "You know how I ha-" "Nah uh! No objections. You've been taking care of me since the Haley thing and I'm trying to return the favor." I shake my head and smile a little, she's so serious about this it's not even funny. Before I know it, I'm grinning like an idiot and she's trying not to smile back. It's not my signature smirk, this one is a real, ear-to-ear grin. I look at the clock behind her and see that its only 8:45, we still have three hours left before school starts. I smile wickedly at her and say, "Hey babe, if you're done with the dishes I have an idea for killing time until school..."

She pokes her head out of the kitchen and smirks that smirk that never fails to make my heart skip, "Is that so?"

I just nod and stalk toward her, "Oh yes ma'am. But before you ask, I can show you better than I can tell you."



School is exhausting, even on a good day.

I throw my bag on the kitchen counter before I turn and go into the living room and turn on my iPod dock. I search around for my iPod and find it on the recliner. I flop next to Kaci on the couch and hand it to her so she can pick a song. She picks Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. Makes sense, the whole Haley thing still slightly going on and Christina is one of her favorite singers.

She puts it on the dock and sits on the love-seat. I shake my head and stretch my hand out towards her, "May I have this dance, milady?" She smiles at me like I've gone crazy but takes my hand anyway. I pull her up and bring her close to me. She wraps her arms around my neck and mine go around her waist. We sway slightly because I'm supposed to be the guy and I keep thinking I'll mess up. I take a chance and start leading us in circles. She looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. I look down at her, "Hey, just because I'm me doesn't mean I can't be spontaneous and romantic." She laughs when I dip her like in the movies and we both laugh when I attempt to to twirl her. We almost fall but its okay because we're happy.

Kaci's POV

When we zone back into reality, They Don't Know About Us is on. She smiles and we sing along as we dance,

"They don't know about the things we do. They don't know about the I love you's. But I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of us. They don't know about the up all night's. They don't know I've waited all my life, just to find a love that feels this right. Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us."

Alex smiles at me when Louis' solo comes on, he is her favorite after all. 

"They don't know how special you are. they don't know what you've done to my heart. They can say anything they want, cause they don't know us."

I grin when Niall starts singing and sing it back to her,

"They don't know what we do best. That's between me and you, our little secret."

We sing with Zayn at the same time,

"But I wanna tell em. I wanna tell the world that you're mine girl!"

And even though neither of us can sing, it doesn't matter. We're both perfectly happy and nothing could ruin this moment.

Except of course, the door.  We hadn't even realized we were leaning in until some cock blocker decided to ruin the moment. We both blush furiously and she moves to answer the door before I stop her, "I'll get it. Go fix some strawberries, yeah? You know with whipped cream, just the way we always do?" She smiles and walks towards the kitchen and I go to the door. I don't even bother to ask who it is or look out of the peephole, I just swing it open.


I didn't expect to see her standing there, looking so broken. Eyes still as red, raw, and puffy as the last time I saw her. She's been crying and I'm not surprised to find I still don't care.

I realize I've just been studying her for awhile because Alex comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, her chin on my shoulder.

I can see the pain in her eyes as she observes us and the way we are now.

I smile and lean back into Aly for a brief second then harden my gaze as I look at her. I sigh and then ask the most obvious question,


"What do you want Haley?"

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