Dear Agony

I can't even anymore. Seeing them in the hallways, in our classes, at lunch, on Facebook and Instagram, and sometimes through my window when I'm lying around the house. It hurts like hell. I'm friends with them both but lately, it hurts more than usual. The moment I think I'm getting over them, I think of something or I see something, or some idiot says something, and it comes back full force.

(The title comes from the song Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin.)


3. Loss and Gain

I ask her, "What's wrong, Addybear?" Then she looks at me, gulps and says, "We need to talk. Like, now." And pulls me off to the locker room, yelling for everybody to clear out. She sits me on a bench and looks me in the eyes before she says, "Al, I hate to have to tell you this but..."

"WHAT? No! You're lying! Addy....tell me you're lying! Addy, please! He can't be dead, he just can't be!" I'm screaming now and I know it, but I don't care. He's gone. cousin is dead. My favorite boy on Earth, gone. I'm sobbing into Addy's chest and she's rocking me back and forth and holding me so tight I can barely breathe. While I'm sobbing, I think back to the last time I saw him.....

*Flashback Moment*

"Jayson! Yoooooohooooooo! Jaybear, come out, come out to plaaaaaaaaaay!" I was walking down the hallway of my cousin Jayson's apartment ready to swing at him the moment he jumped out. He may be 22, but he's more immature than I am. I hear a rustling in the closet and smirk, "I know you're in there Jay! Might as well get your gay ass out here with my Larry pos-" I was cut off mid-word when he jumped out from behind me and screamed, "HERE I AM AL!!" I swung around and caught his jaw with my right fist, knocking him to the ground. "OMG! I am sooooo sorry Jay! You know you can't sneak up on me!" I help him up off the ground and run to get some ice before his jaw starts swelling. I run back to him and press the ice against his jaw and he winces a little. He looks at me and smiles, "It's alright Al. Geez, calm down. I'm fine, I swear." He kissed me on the forehead and pulled me in the kitchen, "Make some lunch?" I nodded and said, "Sure, Jay. Oh, and Jay?" "Yeah Al" "Where's my Larry Stylinson poster?" He smirked and said, "In the closet...." I narrowed my eyes at him and went to go find my poster. When I opened the closet door, I saw my poster lying on the floor, covered in......I scooped some of the sticky, white stuff up with two fingers and rubbed them together slowly. When I realized what it was, I was furious, "JAYSOOOOOOON!!!!!"

*End Flashback*                                                                                                     

I've stopped crying, thinking of the happy memory and smile softly. Addy must notice I've stopped sobbing because she looks down and I can see she's been crying too. I reach up and wipe her tears away and then stand up, pulling her with me, "Come on Addybear. We missed Gym and we're late for Mrs. L's class."

When we show up to Mrs. L's class, she's ranting on about how her dog won't eat so we just slip into our seats. "....and now my poor Zeus won't eat a thing. The doctors say he has worms." She's on the verge of tears and we're all as bored as ever. When the bell rings, we all but fly out of the classroom and I slam into Kaci, knocking her to the floor and falling back only to have Addy catch me. I rush to help Kaci up after I thank Addy and realize her flyers are now literally flying in every direction. I scoop a couple up and read one, "Underground Dance Tournament!! We have the challenger; Brooke "Break It Down" Matthews going up against our champ; KickAss KittyKat!! If you like dancing, beer, food, and having a good time, then you have to come check this out!! This Friday at 11pm in the courtyard behind the power plant!" I look up wide-eyed at Kaci and hand her back the flyers, "Kaci, you like underground dance tournaments?" She smirks and says, "Yeah. Who doesn't?" I shake my head and laugh, "Wow! And I thought I'd seen it all. That's rich. That's just grand." She hands me a flyer and smiles before saying, "You should totally come check it out! Their champ is the best in the city! Or so I've been told." She smiles one more time before she walks away. I gulp as I watch her hips sway and mutter, "Damn, I'm so glad it's Friday." I drag Addy out to my cobalt blue 1976 Mustang 2, I love this car more than anything because it was a birthday present from Jay. I push Addy into the car and speed to my house so we can hang out a bit before we get ready for what I'm sure will be a great night.

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