Let Me Fade

That's the only word to describe exactly how Samantha feels. Or trapped, depressed, emotionally\mentally\ physically unstable. She needs to escape and there's only one thing that helps her. She knows that she shouldn't, that people will judge her, but she doesn't care at this point, she want's to disappear and there's no one to help. Nobody understands her and everyone hates her, or that's her in-take on life.


1. Pain

Pain. It's all I want to feel anymore. As I take in the surrounding's of the ice cold floor that my body is pressed against, I let the thirteen years that I call life rush through my head. Memories cloud my mind like the blood clouding my puffy wrists, the pain unbearable yet so vivid like it bring's joy to my life because by now, it is the only thing that does. My name is Samantha Roberts, and this is the story of my life,my horrible, terrible life.


"Samantha!" My grandmother shout's, nudging my arm once more. "Samantha, you're going to miss the bus and I can't take you to school, get up Sam." She repeated, her fragile voice softening this time. 

"I'm up this time, I'm up. Just turn off the light, please.." I whined, tossing over in my bed and pulling the polk-a-dotted duvet further over my face. I hear her sigh and the light that was previously flooding through my room dies down. I push myself up to the head of the bed and look around for my grandma, only to realize she's probably left to help with my brother. I really hate morning's, you can ask anybody, I am not a morning person what-so-ever. Especially on Monday mornings. 

"Sam, breakfast is on the table, I'm off to take Joey to the bus stop." The same voice as before calls out, signalling for me to slip out of bed and into my fluffy pink and white slippers. These slippers are so comfortable, I remember the day that I got them. It was Christmas morning two or three years ago when I walked in and there was a little box labeled, 'Sammy, I know it's not much but their silk on the inside and fur on the outside, just like you like.' I shake my head to the thought of my mother and walk over to my closet, pulling out my usual lazy-day skinnies and t-shirt. I'm not going to even bother with the whole 'preppy' image on Mondays. Mondays are my days, my comfortable days. If I had to go to school on Mondays then I'm at least going to wear something that suits me and not everyone else. I slip out of my pajamas and slippers, replacing them with the jeans and shirt that had just been pulled from my closet. After getting dressed, I slide back into my slippers and walk out of my room, leaving my clothes on the floor. I knew I'd get fussed at later for not putting them in the dirty clothes hamper but the only thing on my mind at the moment is the zebra coffee mug sitting on the kitchen counter. A smile peaks through my lips as I grab the cup, plopping down at the kitchen table and looking down to the plate staring back up at me. Bacon, eggs and grits, a letters edge rimming the top left corner. 'Morning, Sammy! After school, your brother and I will be attending his doctors appointment, dunno if we'll be back for dinner. If we're not back by five then there's some pre-cooked hamburgers in the fridge. Have a good day, love grandma! xx' By the time I managed to read the note, the only thing remaining on my plate was a single slice of bacon. I scoop it up and toss my plate in the sterling sink, making my way back to my room, coffee in hand. Everyone knows that they shouldn't talk to me unless I've already had my second cup and whoever was stupid enough to talk to me was either one of  my best friends, if they dared, or someone in the hallway at school. I gaze around my room until my eyes fall on the neatly arranged stack of shoes. I find the comfortable pair of uggs with the little button on the side and pull them over my cheetah socks. I'm a very..colorful person believe it or not. Once I checked and made sure I had my school books, last night's homework rung my mind. "Crap!" I muttered, knowing it was too late anyways. It was only math, I could always get the answers from Alexis. Double checking, I grab my cup of coffee and make my way to the front door. "Wait!" I jump and spin around to see a pitiful pug staring behind me. "I didn't forget about you." I giggled and leant down to pet his back, kissing the top of his forehead before I stood back up and opened the door, walking down the same cobble-stoned path as every other school day.



So.. what did you think about the beginning?

Comment and tell me! ^.^

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