Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


14. 'The Question and The Past"



I wasn’t actually gonna update yet, but the last chapter wasn’t part of the plan, and it was kind of uneventful, so here’s a “real” chapter! (;

So I just wanna correct something, I wrote in a previous chapter “chapter x” something about Harry and Zayn living together, and Louis having his own apartment. However that was wrong, it’s Harry and Louis that live together, and Zayn that lives alone. This is very important so just had to say it! (:









Chapter nine

“The Question & The Past”

I looked Mag in her beautiful eyes, excited about what I was going to ask her, and I knew all the other boys were to,

“Well, we’ve been friends now for almost a month, and you’ve pretty much grown on all of us, especially me, and there’s no way I could do without you, for a long period of time. The things is we’re going on tour, in two weeks and… well me and the boys talked to management, and everyone and it took quite some convincing from all of us, cause we all want this to happen… well they finally allowed it, and you said you don’t have anything certain to back to so… will you come on tour with us?”


Maggie’s P.O.V.

“Will you come on tour with us?”

Oh my God!

I was in shock!

“Wow… I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll go!” Niall said, and they all nodded.

“Are you sure, won’t it be complicated?” I asked, not quite believing what they had asked me.

“Of course we’re sure!” Harry jumped in, “we’ve had a great time these past weeks, and it would be awesome to have you along! God knows, we don’t wanna hear Zayn complaining for several months.”

I blushed at his comment about Zayn, “but what about extra expenses?”

“What expenses? Mag, you’re only one person, and, without sounding like a conceited superstar, money certainly isn’t a problem. Look we’ve sorted everything out with everyone, all we need is your answer.” Liam explained, and his being the most responsible, assured me that they were serious about this. They actually wanted me to go along!

Five pair of eyes were looking at me hopefully, and I had to answer,

“This is really a dream come true, believe me, and I’m so grateful… but I have to think about it. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s a big thing, and I have some stuff to sort out. Just give me a week or so, is that okay?”

Zayn looked a little disappointed, but only for a second, then he gave me his sweetest smile,

“Of course, we understand. It is big, so think about it, but I really hope you say yes. I wouldn’t know what to do without you for that long!”

He looked me deeply in the eyes, and there was only so much I could do to stop myself from kissing him right then and there… No! Stop it!

I had to stop thinking like this. I promised myself not to fall for him or anyone else. Not yet! I had to look away from his gaze,

“But really guys, I can’t believe this is happening! Why would you even want me along?”

“Are you kidding?” Niall said surprised, “since we met you, we’ve had more fun than in a long time! Yeah, we always have fun together, but with one more crazy person it just adds to all the fun!” The others agreed, and I smiled widely.

My gaze landed on Louis, standing kind of in the background, smiling but I could tell something was bothering him. I had been meaning to talk to him, but it would have to wait.

“So you’ll think about it, and please promise me you won’t only think negative things?” Zayn said, and I nodded.


“So what about the game? We won right?” Niall asked, as we were all relaxing after the longest day ever.

We had been up all night, caught a stalker and singed karaoke for hours. It was now 1AM, and I only slept four hours earlier in the morning.

“Actually, I think we should have a rematch! Louis clearly wasn’t up for it!” Liam said seriously, but Louis groaned,

“No, no rematch! They won it’s fine, so what’s our “punishment”?”

Harry, Niall and Zayn looked at each other deep in thought.

“How about we make them our slaves for a week?” Harry suggested with an evil smile, and the three of us looked at each other terrified, before Liam asked,

“What exactly would a slave do?”

“Oh you know, clean up, make good, call us master, kiss the ground we walk on…” Harry drifted of, as Liam jumped in,

“But Harry the hotel have cleaning staff, and it wouldn’t be fair with the making of the good, because no one wants to experience Louis’ cooking, so he would get off easy.”

“Hey!” Louis said offended, “you know I’ve become a much better cook lately, tell them Harry!”

“Oh yeah, Louis is a great cook.” Harry said, very ironically, at which Louis threw a pillow on him, making me laugh.

When Harry threw a pillow back, I knew what this was leading to, and felt it better to leave,

“Wait! I think I’m just gonna down to my room, so let me know about the punishment in the…”

I was interrupted as Niall hit me right in the face with a pillow, and was now laughing hard.

“Hey, don’t throw pillows at my girl!” Zayn said, and starting hitting Niall repeatedly with one of the big pillows.

I hadn’t noticed how many pillows there actually were in this living room at the moment. I ignored the “my girl” comment from Zayn, as Liam started to tell the boys to stop, until Harry hit him in the face with a large cushion saying “shut up Liam” with Liam’s accent.

I laughed and tried to sneak away, but was stopped by Louis, who came running out of his room, loaded at pillows which he threw at all of us. We all stopped for a minute, until we were armed with two pillows each. Then Niall yelled,

“Pillow fight!”


Half an hour later, we were all exhausted, spread out on the couches and floor surrounded by pillows, feathers, cushions and even a cover. I had taken “pillow fighting” to another level, and grabbed the cover from Zayn’s room, thrown it over Niall and rolled him around on the floor, after he had brutally attacked Zayn, and messed up his hair.

Zayn and I were like a team, and we ganged up with Harry after he had taken a hard cushion to the chest, which Liam had aimed at Zayn.

We decided to take them one on one, me against Niall, Zayn against Louis, and Harry against Liam. I grabbed the largest cushion I could find, and jumped on Niall hitting him to the ground, until Liam pushed me off and attacked me with, luckily, the smallest of all the pillows. Liam was always a gentleman. Zayn and Harry them came to the rescue, after finishing Louis and we were champions!

Of course nobody was seriously injured, but it had been the most brutal pillow fight in my life! These boys were crazy, and I loved them. I didn’t want to be without them on tour either, but I reminded myself, that I still had to think things through.

“Well I’m going to my room, I’m exhausted!” I exclaimed getting up, but was stopped by Niall,

“Why don’t we have a slumber party up here?”

“Niall, we’ve all had a long day, it’s almost 2, and I think Mag is very tired, just as the rest of us!” Liam said, and Niall pouted again.

“Besides how would we all sleep in here?” Harry asked yawning.

“Well actually…” Louis started looking around, “there’s room for four people on the couches, and there’s enough extra pillows, cushions and covers to make a bed for two on the floor.”

“But what would we do? We’re all tired!” Zayn exclaimed stretching his arms. He looked like he was already half asleep.

“We’ll watch a movie!” Niall said excitedly and instantly all the boys jumped in,

“Let’s watch Toy Story!”

“No, a scary movie!”

“No way, I wanna watch The Hangover!”

“Not again, let’s see Hunger Games!”

“Star Wars!”

“Harry Potter!”

At that I jumped in,

“Oh please, please, please can we see Harry Potter?” I begged, and they all looked at me.

“You never said you liked Harry Potter?” Zayn said, and I had wide eyes while saying,

“Are you kidding? I’ve read and seen all the Harry Potter and Twilight books and movies plenty of times, I love them so much it’s crazy! Actually before I saw Twilight I loved Rob as Cedric Diggory, I had the biggest crush on him! But the first time I saw him smirk in twilight, I melted away, and oh my God, when he proposed to Bella…” I drifted off, gazing dreamingly into the air, until I noticed them all looking weirdly at me.

“Anyways…” Liam finally said, “does that mean we’re doing the slumber party?”

We all nodded enthusiastically.

“But only if we watch Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire!” I insisted.


I woke up to the smell of pancakes and eggs, for a second wondering where I was, until I looked around the room. I was lying on one of the couches, Zayn and Niall on two of the others, while the last one was empty, though there was a cover and a pillow on it. On the floor Louis laid on a matrass of cushions and covers, with an empty space next to him. I then saw Harry and Liam cooking in the kitchen, and remembered last night.

What time was it? I looked at the clock, over the TV, 1 PM! I had slept ten hours straight, I wondered when the others had fallen asleep.

“Good morning!” I said stretching, as I joined Harry and Liam in the kitchen.

“Morning,” Harry replied handing me a mug of tea, “so you fell asleep rather quickly last night, you only saw Cedric Diggory like twice!”

I just smiled, and sat down with my tea and my thoughts. With three of the boys sleeping, it was actually very quiet, and I knew I had to start thinking about things.

“Um Harry, I’m going down to my room, I just want a little quiet time, before the others wake up.” I said slipping off my chair.

“But Li and I made breakfast!”

“Yeah, I’m not that hungry, I’ll be up again in like an hour, save some food for me?”

“I can’t promise anything with Niall around!” He said with a smile, and I thanked him for the tea before going to my room downstairs.


I started packing my bags, since we would probably be checking out of the hotel soon, now that the stalker was gone. I knew what was stopping me from going on the tour, and falling for Zayn, but I didn’t know, if I could manage thinking about it, however I couldn’t avoid it.


Flashback. 11 months ago

It was a great day. My husband and I were celebrating our two month anniversary, and it was also exactly a year ago since we had met. My family hadn’t been keen on me, the youngest daughter, getting married at the age of 19, but there was nothing they could do about it, and they thought Chris was a great guy.

It was 7PM, he should have been back from work by now, but I waited patiently. At 7.30 I was getting nervous, and tried calling him, but there was no answer.

At 8 o’clock my phone rang, and I quickly picked up, without checking the caller-ID.

“Hello, is this Mrs. Carter?”


“I’m calling about your husband Christopher Carter.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Your husband has been in a car accident.”

The car ride to the hospital was awful. My sister had picked me up, and was driving while I couldn’t stop crying. When we got there, Chris had been taken to surgery. A drunk driver had speeded over a red light crashing right into Chris’ car.

We waited for hours, until the doctor finally came to talk to me and Chris’ parents.

“How is he, please tell me he’s alright!” I cried.

The doctor looked at us seriously,

“Your husband is out of surgery… but he’s… he’s in a coma.”

“A coma?” his mother said through tears, barely able to speak,” but he will be waking up soon right?”

I had a bad feeling in my stomach, and the doctor could barely look us in the eyes when he replied,

“We are not sure when, or even if, he will ever wake up. I’m sorry.”

My world collapsed and for months I was like a zombie, but still clinging to hope. As long as the machines were beeping, he was alive. People could be in a coma for years, and suddenly wake up.

I didn’t have to wait that long however. 8 months after the accident, the machines stopped beeping.

End of flashback.


I was sitting on my bed in my room, my suitcase in front of me, crying at the memory of my late husband. When he passed away, strangely I came out of my zombie shell. For 8 months I had gone to work, just enough to survive and pay rent. I had totally given up on my plan of going to college anytime soon. For 8 months I told myself he would come back. Half mourning and half hoping those 8 months had been awful.

After the funeral I had made the decision to just get away from everything! That’s why I had come to London… where I met Zayn. He and the others helped me forget everything, and made me feel alive again; I was actually having fun and acting like before the accident.

Now I felt guilty about it. It was only three months ago, and even though we hadn’t technically been together for eleven months, shouldn’t I still be mourning? Shouldn’t I still be in grief? I definitely shouldn’t be falling in love with anyone! It just wasn’t right.

I laid down on my bed, and stared at the ceiling, for God knows how long, until I heard a knock on my door.

“Just a second!” I called out, and rushed to the bathroom to dry my eyes, and splash water on my face.

I opened the door, and saw Niall standing there looking guilty.

“Hey Niall, what’s going on?”

“Harry made me come down here to apologize for eating the pancakes, he had set aside for you.”

I couldn’t help myself from laughing at him, and then feeling guilty again.

“It’s okay Niall, and I’ll be up in a minute!” I said closing the door and getting dressed.


“Hey babe! Where have you been all my life?”

Zayn sang, opening the door for me.

“Wait has your body been taken over by Rihanna?”

I laughed entering the room and throwing myself on the couch, pushing all bad thoughts aside.

“So Mag we have something to talk about.” Liam said seriously, making me nervous.

“We’re checking out of the hotel tomorrow, and we have to find out where you’re going to stay.”

I sighed relieved that nothing bad had happened, and casually replied,

“Well I thought I would just check into my cheap hotel again.”

They gave me their “what are you talking about” look again, and Liam spoke for all of them,

“I think it’s about time you understand, that you’re a part of us now, and we will not have you staying at a hotel, when we have three apartments with guestrooms.”

I was always surprised by the fact, that they actually really liked me, and considered me part of the group. I guess that’s what happened when you spent all day with someone for three months in a row. I didn’t really know what to say.

“Well, we know you’re closest to me, Harry and Louis, so you won’t be staying at Liam and Niall’s. I think you should stay with me, in the guestroom of course.” Zayn said with a mischievous look in his eyes. Oh that boy.

I would love to stay with Zayn, but it wouldn’t exactly help me to not fall in love with him, but I couldn’t tell him this.

“I disagree Zayn,” Harry spoke up, noticing the look in Zayn’s eyes, “Louis and I have the biggest apartment, with the biggest guestroom and we can all hang out there, and knowing you Zayn, you can always sleep over on the couch if you want. None of us think it’s fair if you have monopoly on Mag.”

Zayn didn’t look happy, about this suggestion,

“Well it’s really up to Mag, isn’t it?” he said, kind of grumpily and now they all looked at me. I had to choose.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...