Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


29. 'Tequila, Dancing & Games'


hello, lovelies! well this chap is a little shorter then the last few (3,600 wordcount), but I am almost done with the next chap already, so probably updating monday  :)

well, enjoy xoxo M. ;)



Chapter 23

"Tequila, Dancing & Games"

Liam's P.O.V.

We had just entered the packed club, when I heard Lauren exclaim,

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Tally and Skye walked up to her, following her gaze,

"That fucking asshole!" Tally exclaimed, and I was utterly confused.

"What the fuck is he doing here, he knows it's my favorite club!" Lauren said angrily, crossing her arms, as the rest joined us.

"What's going on babe?" Niall asked, sounding worried.

"It's Lauren's scumbag cheating ex!" Tally replied,

"With his little slutbag friend!" Skye added, pointing at a guy in the bar, next to a bleached blonde girl with a very short, very tight black dress and unbelievably high heels.

"Forget that asshole!" Mag said, leading Lauren, and the rest of us, in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, if he cheated on you, he's an absolute twat, not even worth talking about!" I added, and she smiled at me.

"You're right! He's nothing, I'm here to have fun, and I'm not going to let him ruin it!" She said with confidence, making me smile proudly.

"That's the spirit!" Harry said enthusiastically, making her giggle in the cutest way.

"I'm heading to the bar! Who's joining?" Tally exclaimed, and Harry, Zayn, Mag and Niall jumped up.

"You want me to get you a coke Liam?" Harry asked, and I nodded.

"Get me one to?" Skye asked, and Harry looked at her weirdly,

"You don't drink?" He asked, eyeing her suspiciously, and she shook her head, suddenly looking nervous, but Harry just shrugged,

"Lauren?" He finally asked.

She hesitated, and I noticed her glancing at her ex.

"Get her a Jack and coke. That's your drink right?" I said, smiling at her, and she looked at me surprised.

"Yeah but... I promised..." She started, but I interrupted her,

"Hey, you should have a good time, and get your mind off that stupid jerk! You don't have to get wasted, just loosen up. Besides Skye isn't drinking so I won't be alone." I said nudging the blonde, and Lauren looked at me, with a thankful look in her eyes.

"So... What will it be?" Harry asked, getting a bit impatient.

Lauren bit her lip, and then got up,

"I'll go up with you... Is that okay Liam?" She asked, and I just rolled my eyes playfully,

"Go along!" I urged her, and they joined the rest of the gang by the bar.

"So... Why don't you drink?" I asked Skye, leaning closer, to be able to talk over the music, and she bit her lip, looking down,

"I usually don't tell people, I've just met... But you seem like a down-to-earth guy, so I guess I can tell you. I... um... grew up with an alcoholic stepdad, and he was really awful. I saw what drinking did to him, and I guess, that kind of prevented me from wanting to ever drink." She explained, and I frowned,

"I'm sorry to hear about that." I said comforting, but she shrugged it off smiling,

"It's okay really, my mom left him, when I was a teen, and everything's good now... I have champagne at New Years and for special occasions y'know, and I go out with friends. I just don't usually drink." She said casually, giving me a smile.

There was actually a lot more to Skye then ones first impression, and something made me want to discover everything about her. I hoped we would be seeing her more, while she was in town.

Niall's P.O.V.

I was standing at the bar next to Zayn and Harry, with Tally, Lauren and Mag standing with their back towards me, when I noticed someone staring. I looked across the bar, and saw the girl that Lauren's ex was together with, who was obviously a fan. She waved at me eagerly, and I just nodded, not wanting to be rude, cause she was a fan but she had slept with someone who had been taken, and that was never okay.

I ordered our drinks, and returned to my conversation with Zayn and Harry, when suddenly the girl appeared next to me, and with her that cheating asshole.

"Oh my God, it's really you... I'm a hugemungus faan!" She said swaying slightly, obviously drunk, and I was about to reply when I sensed three people behind me turn around.

"Hello Megan... and Sean!" I heard Tally say coolly, spitting out the last name and taking her spot next to me.

"Natalie McCallum!" The girl, Megan said in shock, and the asshole named Sean looked nervous.

"You k-know O-one Di-direction?!" Megan said, having difficulty getting the words out.

"Well she's my girlfriend so yeah she does!" I said proudly, putting my arm around her, and I swear, Megan almost fell.

"Oh and this is Mag, you've probably heard of her," I added pulling Mag into sight, and she gave Megan an obvious fake smile, "and our new good friend... Lauren!" I said finally revealing the curly haired girl, who had been trying to hide behind me.

Megan and Sean's jaws dropped, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Lauren Ferguson!" They both said in unison, and Harry went to stand next to her, as some sort of moral support.

 Zayn looked as if he wanted to punch Sean. Ever since Perrie, he hated cheaters more than anything else in the world!

"Listen, I hate to be disrespectful to a fan, but what you two did, to this girl..." I said drifting off, and Zayn took over,

"I think it would be best if you leave!" He said threatening, glaring at Sean.

"Hey, this is a public club. I can stand wherever I want!" Sean answered cockily, his light blue eyes fixed on Zayn's honey brown orbs.

"How do YOU know THEM?" Megan asked Lauren, giving her a snobbish look.

"I introduced her to them," Tally replied sending daggers at them, "and we don't have to time to talk to cheaters and scumbags, so bye!"

And with that, she pulled me away, over to the table, where Liam was sitting with Skye, and we all managed to squeeze in.

"Hey, what happened up there, I saw Megan and Sean talking to you?" Skye asked, bobbing her head, looking out for the couple.

"Megan is apparently a fan!" I said, frowning. I loved all our fans, but I couldn't ignore the information, I had received of this one.

I knew our fans weren't saints, of course, and yeah some of them had probably done bad things, but this time it effected me, because it involved a friend of mine. Even if I had only just met Lauren, she was already a friend, especially considering, she was a close friend of my girlfriend. My girlfriend.

I looked at the girl next to me, holding a pint, and smiled. She even drank pints, but she's Irish, so it would almost be a sin if she didn't. At least from my point of view.

I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I had found the perfect girl for me, she was everything, I wanted in a girl, but it was the way she made me feel, that made me love her. I actually did love her. It was strange to have such strong feelings, after such a short period of time, but it felt so good.

When I was with her, it was like nothing could stop me, nothing could ruin my mood, nothing could hold me down. I was unstoppable, like a superhero. But she wasn't my kryptonite, she was the opposite. She made me feel strong and full of life and energy. She was like the sun on a rainy day, the cool breeze on a hot summers day, the bell ringing at the end of school, the guitar solo in a great song, the last plate of food that finally made you full. She made everything perfect. And she was only mine. My princess Tally.

Zayn's P.O.V.

My mood was a lot better with a drink in hand, and I felt myself loosening up. I just hoped, that jerk Sean would stay away. I detested cheaters! How could he cheat on someone, like Lauren? She was so sweet! Maybe that was the problem, she was too sweet, and he had taken advantage of that, which made me hate him even more. As long as he stayed away, I would have a good time. Even though, Mag wasn't beside me. She was sitting across me, next to Skye, mojito in hand, laughing at one of Curly's ridiculous jokes.

I wished, I hadn't blown up like that before, but I couldn't help myself, all my emotions just boiled over. Louis understands her? He was probably just trying to take her away from me, but I wouldn't let that happen. I had to have a talk with that boy, and make things clear! But for now, I was just going to have fun with my friends.


"Oh my God, this is my jam! Come on babe!" Tally exclaimed, pulling Niall to the dance floor, as "Everything Tonight" with Pitbull and Ne-Yo started playing.

"They're so perfect together!" Lauren said, followed by a deep sigh. It was obvious, she wanted something like what Niall and Tally had. We all did.

"Yeah yeah, Niall and Tally are cute and blah blah blah, let's do shots!" Harry exclaimed grabbing the bottle of vodka and placing four shot glasses in front of Lauren, Mag, himself and I.

"No I shouldn't..." Lauren said drifting off.

"Yes you should!" Harry demanded filling up her glass.

There really wasn't any arguing with him.

After the fourth shot, I decided to get a drink, and went up to the bar, accompanied by Lauren, who was pretty tipsy by now.

"You know what Zayn?" She said, trying to wave down the bartender, but as it was a girl, I had a far better chance.

"What?" I questioned, getting the bartender's attention, and ordering two Jack and cokes.

"You're a really great guy, and I hope you and Mag work things out!" She smiled at me, at I forced my self to smile back.

"Yeah, I hope so to." I said, glancing over at Mag, who was laughing again. Actually when Mag got drunk, she would be laughing nonstop, and I had to deal with the adorable sound and cute look on her face. I quickly ordered a bottle of Tequila with lemon and salt, and brought it back to the table, with my drink. Harry's eyes lit up immediately. I guess he also had his reasons to drink his brains out.

"We just finished the vodka, and you bring out the tequila!" Harry exclaimed, instantly filling our glasses again.

"Wow Harry, I had no idea you were such a drunkard!" Skye teased, sipping her coke, making Liam laugh.

I guess those two had their own thing going on.

"Hey, you were the one, who started the whole live while you're drunk thing... Oh wait, is it young?" Harry wondered, and Mag started laughing again, making me down my shot, not even bothering with salt and lemon.

"I'm gonna pass. I'll just take care of uncle Jack for now." Lauren said raising her glass. Harry just shrugged and offered Mag a glass, who took it without hesitation.

After filling up my glass again, we all sprinkled the salt on our hand, and had the lemon ready, as Harry counted down.

"One... Two... Three!"

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

All three of us pulled a face, and glasses were filled again.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. Salt. Tequila. Lemon. Lemon. Tequila. Lemon. Salt. Lemon. Tequila. Tequila. Salt. Lemon.

I lost track of everything. I didn't even know how many shots we took, but suddenly the bottle was empty, and I downed my remaining Jack and coke.

I looked across the table and saw Tally bite down on a lemon, pulling a face. Wait... when did Tiall and Nally... I mean Niall and Tally get back? That explained, how the bottle finished so quickly. Was it even quickly? What time was it?

"No more tequila?" Harry suddenly said, as if it just occurred to him.

"Dude, I just said I was taking the last shot!" Tally said laughing.

At this point, I was pretty sure only Liam and Skye were still sober, and I somehow found that funny... Actually it was hilarious.

"What are you laughing about Zaaayn?" Tally asked, stretching my name, which would usually annoy me.

"Harry is drunk!" I exclaimed, pointing at the curly haired boy, who looked confused. I wasn't actually sure, if that was why I was laughing, but it seemed legit.

"What are you talking about? I'm not a flunk! What's a flunk? You're a flunk!" Harry exclaimed, making me laugh even more, and Lauren rolled her eyes,

"No Harry, he said dunk, which is weird, because we're not playing basketball?" Lauren said thoughtfully, and Harry looked even more confused.

"But apparently, someone is playing tonsil hockey!" Skye exclaimed, pointing at the Irish people, who were now snogging.

"Ew, disgusting!"

"Control your hormones!"

"Get a room!"

"And use protection!"

"Don't encourage them, Harry!"


Niall and Tally finally pulled away from each other, cause Tally wanted to dance again, and off they were, as suddenly, as they had come.

"Let's play a game!" Lauren suggested, clapping her hands.

"What should we play?" Mag asked, drawing patterns in the spilled salt on the table.

"How about "I have never"?" Skye suggested. I had never heard of that, but Lauren look excited.

"What's that?" Harry asked hiccupping, and Skye explained,

"It's simple. Someone says something, they have never done, and everyone who has done it, has to drink. For example, Liam says 'I have never been drunk' and all you have to drink, and you HAVE to be honest!"

"But what if you can't think of anything?" I inquired.

"Then you can say something you have done, but you just have to drink as well." Lauren explained, and it sounded simple enough.

"Sounds fun!" Harry said smiling, but then frowned, "but I don't have a drink."

"I'll be right back!" Skye said, running up to the bar, and returning a few minutes later with a bottle of scotch, and four clean glasses.

"Alright, Liam and I will play along, drinking our coke... So who starts?" Skye asked, after filling our glasses.

"Okay, I got one!" Harry said smirking, "I have never dated someone more than a year!"

Everyone except Harry took a drink.

"That's hardly something to be proud of!" Mag stated, but Harry just shrugged, and they all looked at me.

"Okay... Um, I have never... snogged a guy!" I said, smirking at my genius mind, as all the girls, including Harry, took a drink, and Skye looked at him in shock.

"We'll return to that later!" She said pointing at him, and then it was Lauren's turn.

"Well... I've never snogged a girl!"

"Copycat!" I teased taking a drink, along with Liam and Harry.

Finally it was Mag, and I stared at her intensely.

"Um... I have never... Been to Ireland!" She said, and the rest of us took another swig, and looked expectantly at Skye.

"Alright, good warm up round... Now let's spice it up," she said rubbing her hands together, "time for real secrets... I have never... had a crush on Harry Styles!" She looked at Lauren, who had wide eyes, and innocently took a quick sip. Harry just smiled widely.

I actually thought Lauren and Liam would hit it off, but he didn't seem bothered. However it was his turn.

"Well I have never kissed a member of One Direction!" He glanced at Harry who quickly drank along with Mag.

"This gets better and better!" Skye said, looking surprised.

Harry had a mischievous look on his face.

"Well, let me spare you the suspension... I have never kissed Louis Tomlinson!" And with that he emptied his glass, and slammed in on the table, making Lauren and Skye's jaws drop! I don't know why, but I found that incredibly funny, and started laughing, not noticing anything happening around me, but when I got back to reality, everybody had a weird look on their face.

"Vas happenin?" I asked curiously, making Liam exclaim,

"Oh no, don't!"

I laughed again, and then realized it was my turn. I had to come up with something good. Something, you couldn't just ask somebody. I knew everything about my band mates, so I focused on the girls, mainly Mag. It wasn't painful being here with her, now that I was completely senseless. Instead I wanted to know something, about her. What did I want to know? Then it hit me.

"I have never..." I stopped midsentence, as I noticed something,

"Why is your glass empty? It wasn't just before?" I asked Mag, staring at her glass, not wanting to look at her face.

"Zayn, you're obviously drunk! She emptied it when it was Liam's turn!" Harry replied, rolling his eyes.

Was I really that drunk? I thought for a minute, which was a hard task, considering the state I was in, when I heard a loud voice,

"Oh what are we playing?" Tally asked excitedly, sitting next to Lauren.

"I have never." Skye replied, and Tally instantly blurted out,

"I have never kissed Niall Horan!" She emptied Lauren's glass, and returned to the dancefloor, with a laughing Niall.

"Okay, no more game, let's dance!" Lauren pleaded getting on her feet.

"But we've only played one and a half rounds!" Harry exclaimed frowning.

"Well, let's face it, no one is gonna touch the juicy subjects, and you guys are already wasted anyways." Skye stated shrugging and Lauren gave Harry a pleading look.

"Well alright, come on Curly!" He said, getting up and leading her to the dancefloor, where they got lost in the crowd.

I really wanted to dance. Would it be weird, to ask Mag to dance? Apparently I was drunk enough, to not even care,

"Mag, wanna dance?" I asked casually, and she hesitated for a second before nodding, and off we were.


* * *

The lights were shining, illuminating her light brown eyes. My heart was pounding to the rhythm of the music. I held her hand, and smiled at her, and for a second, it felt like how we used to be. Of course that jerk Sean came by, and ruined everything. Did that fucking idiot just slap her butt?!

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled at him, with a shove, getting all the dancers' attention, including Niall, Tally, Lauren and Harry who were close by.

"What's going on?" Tally asked glaring furiously at the dark haired scum.

"He just slapped Mag's arse!" I exclaimed, and Tally looked like she could kill him. She took a step forward, but Niall held her back.

"You better control your lady!" He said, with his thick Geordie accent. The fact that he reminded me of Perrie made me hate him every more.

This time Lauren and Harry had to hold Niall back.

"Why don't you just get lost?!" I said furiously, and he just rolled his eyes,

"Whatever, you have your bitch to yourself!"

That did it! Before anyone could hold me back, I felt the alcohol rush through my blood adding fire to my boiling rage, running through my body, ending in my fist as it collided with his jaw, making him stumble back.

Everyone stared at me with shock in their eyes.

Before he could hit back, I felt someone take hold of me.

"Out now! We don't want any trouble!" The guard said, dragging me to the exit.

"But he started it!" I defended myself.

"Forget it Zayn, let's just leave!" Harry said, and the guard let me go by the door.

"We'll go get Skye and Liam!" Niall said, leaving me with Harry and Mag.

"So where is that karaoke bar anyways?" Harry said looking around, as we stepped outside.

"I'm going back to the hotel." I said starting to walk.

"Wait! You can't go alone in this condition. At least wait for Liam, so he can go with you!" Mag said, and I felt a seed of happiness, because she was concerned, but I knew she would have been the same with any of the others.

"No, I wanna be alone. I'll take a taxi, there's one right over there." I said nodding to the end of the street.

"Well, I'll walk you there. Mag, wait here for the others." Harry commanded, and she nodded as we started walking, actually more like tumbling, towards the taxi.

"You sure you wanna go? Karaoke will be fun!" Harry tried to convince me with a smile.

"Nah, karaoke is your guys' thing, not mine." I replied getting into the taxi.

Harry gave the driver our hotel's address, and a bill so I wouldn't have to worry about paying.

Why was he not as drunk as me?

"See you tomorrow mate!" I said through the window, and the curly haired boy nodded at me, as the taxi drove off.


* * *

(The next morning)

Dunk. Dunk. Dunk.

What the hell was banging? I struggled to open my eyes, pinching them to keep the sunlight out. I should have closed the curtains. It was just my head pounding apparently, and I would give my kingdom for an aspirin. What even happened last night? I couldn't remember anything after ordering Tequila. I felt someone move next to me in the bed, and figured it must be Harry, but I naturally didn't remember giving him the extra room card. I turned over, but I didn't see brown curls. That wasn't Harry... It wasn't even a guy. I then recognized the blonde hair, and instantly sat up.

What the hell happened last night?!

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