Loved You First

"Was it possible that all the signs, I had convinced myself were just my imagination, actually were real?

I just couldn't help but wonder how long she'd had feelings for him, even if they were subconcious.
I was sure that I loved her first, but at this point I actually didn't know who she loved first."

A few slightly sexual references (not smut, I don't do that)
A few slightly violent scenes
Use of strong language at times
SELF-HARM references in a couple of chapters


3. 'Arriving'


London, baby! I was finally here! Capital of England! City of cities... no, wait that wasn't quite right. Actually New York is city of cities right? Well to me London was THE city! I had been to New York in 10th grade and yes, it was amazing, fabolous and awesome but I loved London. Admitted, I had never been there, but I had always dreamed of going.

The thing is, living in Denmark, I've been very close to England, though I never went there, so it was one of my goals to someday see London, and now here I was!

I had arrived three days ago, and spending them in bed, today was the day of exploring! So many places too see, I didn't even know where to start. Although when I pulled out my iPhone, I got a clue. I didn't have service as my simcard didn't work internationally. I had this problem on every vacation, so I knew what I had to do: go to the nearest mall and buy a phonecard.

"Hello! How may I be of service to you?"

The clerk asked with a british accent and a somewhat fake smile.

Probably the same smile he used with everyone who walked in. I was still a little startled by the accent (finding it hard to believe I was actually in England), so it took a couple of seconds before I answered,

"um.. Hi.. yeah well I have a problem... Well not really a problem, the thing is, I'm on vacation here and I have no service on my phone, so I need a phonecard to like call, text and access the internet?" I had pulled out my phone, as if he wouldn't understand me and would need visual confirmation.

He gave me a tired smile, like he had been dealing with tourists all day.

"Right. We have a variety of options to chose from, all at reasonable prices. If you take a look at this, you will certainly find something to your liking!" The clerk exclaimed in a very rehearsed way as he pulled out a paper showing different options, services and prices.

I knew the drill, find what suits your needs the most, but I was thrown off by the prices. I had no idea what was a good deal here, so I calculated in my head, all the pounds to danish currency and compared to what I knew from home.

After about half an hour of reading, calculating, comparing, considering, asking questions and setting up, I walked out of the store with full three bars of internet! Oh yeah, I could also call and text, if I wanted. I made sure to get a deal that would allow cheap international calls home, even though I didn't expect to use that much. To be honest, I was so relieved to be away from everything, I forgot to be sad about the reason that brought me here. Guilt washed in over me, and I fought to hold the tears back. I was not going to cry at a mall! I needed to chill down.

I sat on a bench in a lovely park with my ice tea and felt much more at ease. Even Starbucks' varieties couldn't convert me to coffee! It was a beautiful day really, especially cause I've always only heard bad things about the weather in England. The music-addict I was, I instantly pulled out my phone, opened the iTube app and turned on a pick-me-up song! Though it wasn't the newest, the lyrics and fast beat always cheered me up.
Oh, I just wanna take you anywhere that you like
We could go out any day, any night
Baby I'll take you there, take you there
Baby I'll take you there, yeah

Oh, tell me tell me tell me how to turn your love on
You can get, get anything that you want
Baby just shout it out, shout it out
Baby just shout it out, yeah

And if you,
You want me too
Let's make a move..."

I  was just about to jump up and sing along, when I felt someone sit down next to me. I only had one earphone in, so I heard a special accent exclaiming,

"That's a very good song, you're listening to."

His voice and accent seemed so familiar, but I wasn't used to strangers just talking to me, so I replied with a quick "yeah" without looking up. I heard him chuckle slightly before asking,

"Would you happen to have light?"

At first I had no idea what he was talking about, but then I realized he meant a lighter so I found the one I always carried in my pocket, and looked up for the first time. I couldn't believe it. My eyes were looking into the most beautiful, sparkling brown eyes. I had seen them before, in pictures, magazines, videos but nothing could compare to this. His beautiful eyes were joined by a equally gorgeous smile as he accepted my lighter and lit his cigarette. I was sitting next to Zayn Malik. And he talked to me. And he complimented my music taste (well obviously). And borrowed my lighter.

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