To Write Love on Her arms

Aspen is a girl who has the world at her feet. In school she's a cheer leader, hangs out with all the popular girls and always gets lucky enough to date the hottest boys in school. As for Dakota hipster wallflower he doesn't have many friends and doesn't go out that much and didn't have any chance at getting with one of the girls hottest girls in school...or so he thought. It all changed for both Aspen and Dakota when they went out on a date on Valentines Day and they both fall in love with each other.

Aspen thought she'd live happily ever after with Dakota and as we all know all good things come to an end. For Aspen, an abrupt out of the blue horrifying end. Dakota went missing, and then she lost herself. Aspen became depressed and started self harming. There was one problem...Aspen knew who out of anyone that would know where her love had gone off missing to. To bad they both hate each other.

Will Aspen ever find out what happened to Dakota and will she ever love again?


3. From Anonymous

       "So how are you doing today Miss.Rose?" Theresa asks me. I stare into space as she repeats her question. The only thing I could see was Dakota. I didn't even get to say good bye. The third time she repeats herself I finally respond.


         "Crappy," I tell her flatly. She starts jotting down notes on my insanity to go over with my psychiatrist to see if my meds need to be adjusted or amped up another notch. If she really knew how I was feeling I think she'd quit her job because that's how bad it is.


           My dad first started bringing me to the shrink when he found me passed out on the bathroom floor with my wrist sliced and me overdosed on my moms old pills that for some reason he decided not to throw away. Maybe he had been abusing them before I started to. But he said that he knew I was depressed he just didn't know what to do about it.





        "Aspen, you have to start seeing a doctor. I don't want to come home one day to find you dead," He said tears streaming down his face.


       "Oh and you only realized when you found me passed out in the bathroom right. You knew I was depressed dad! I stopped hanging out with my friends, quit cheer leading started isolating myself. Why didn't you just do something about it then?" I yelled.


         "Because I thought that by now it'd be over. I thought it was just a phase that a girl goes through after a break up," my dad said running his hands through his graying hair.


         "Whoa, first of all we never broke up. I never broke up with him and he never broke up with me he disappeared. He could still be alive, dad and that's what kills me is that I don't know where he is and why he left. " I said tears streaming down his face. He walked over to our liquor cabinet and poured himself a cup of Gin.


           "Look, whether you like it or not, you're going no if and's or but's about it. I already lost my wife, I'm not going to loose my daughter too."



          Of course my dad gave me a decision, and I agreed because my dad needed me to survive. My mom had no choice but to die. No matter how badly I wanted to, there was still one person in my life who needed me and that was my dad. So maybe I should really try getting better for my dad's sake and for my own but every time I close my eyes I see Dakota. 


         "Theresa, I want I'm actually willing to really try. It's just so hard, everything I see and every time I close my eyes I see Dakota and I just...don't know how..." My throat closes shut and tears spill over my face like rain on a window shield, but no matter how many times I wipe away the tears they just come rushing back down.


          "Aspen," Theresa says placing a hand on my own, "I can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you how to forget about Dakota and how to move on from this ruff patch in your life. Personally I've never been through it myself and I can't pretend that I have but your dad needs you Aspen, and more importantly you need you, and you need a strong you." Theresa says. I squeeze my eyes shut not wanting to open them to see my world crashing down around me. My life without Dakota has been the scariest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life and I've ignored it for so long. He's not coming back. He moved far away and is happy where he is and doesn't want to come back home. But as long as he's happy why shouldn't I be happy? He'd want me to be happy right?


        "I still need a lot of help with getting over this, but I think I just took the first step," I tell her wiping tears.


          "Your not healed yet. You still need time, but if your willing to accept my help I'd be more than happy to," Theresa says. 


           "Thank you. I want your help, um- I was wondering if they hold groups for you know...people like me. I feel alone in all this, like no one knows what I'm going through," I say. She nods her head and goes into a filing cabinet and pulls out some papers of groups I may be interested in. She hands me three papers and I look them over. 


          "The one at the hospital is really good...or so I've heard. A lot of people made friends ships and had gotten better. I recommend that group but you do what you want." Theresa says. I shake her hand and leave and thank her for everything and apologize for being so cold and stand offish. 


         I look over the paper at the hospital. It starts tonight at seven and now it's six. Why not give it a try. I leave the building and get in my car and drive home. No one's home when I get there dad's still busy being a lawyer I guess. I go upstairs into my room and get changed into something that actually makes me happy like my gray Ambercrombie sweatshirt and a pair or skinny jeans with Uggs. I look in the mirror and if I wasn't mistaken I actually looked like the old me which made me smile. I got into my car and drove to the hospital. I had no problem finding the group. It was on the children's floor it was open for the public, ages fourteen through eighteen. I didn't want to see anyone from school when I got there and I was sadly disappointed when I seen the girl there who used to have pastel blue hair. Now it's a dark purple. Fits her personality better now I think, cause she looks sad and bitchier since the last time I seen her. She sits next to a boy who's...beautiful. He has short dark hair that's messy and some strands fly away in different directions. His skin is tan and his grey eyes sparkle. I couldn't help but stare at him. I've never seen him before. He must not go to our school. 


        I take a seat next to a girl who doesn't look like she'll rip my head off. Almost before I even get to sit down the girl introduces herself to me. "Hi, I'm Chelsea." she says extending a bony hand. I shake it firmly in mine but I was scared I'd break it.


       "I'm Aspen, nice to meet you." I tell her. I look at everyone who's here. They all look like normal kids I guess...that wear a lot of black and die their hair different colors, but there are the normal's like Chelsea the tan boy and two others. "So who's the host of this group?" I ask Chelsea. She clears her throat.


         "It's usually Estella but she couldn't come tonight so Jared will be hosting it tonight which means you'll get to hear everyone's sob stories." Chelsea says. I giggle and so does she, "I know your a new comer but I've been coming to this group for four months now and I've seen so many people come and go. If it wasn't part of my recovery I'd be gone. But you see that girl over there with the dark purple hair, she's been coming here for a like...three months."


          "Yeah I know who she is, she was one of my ex boyfriends friends...she never did like me much," I tell her. I look at her and she was staring at me.


            "I know I could tell by the way she's looking you," Chelsea says. "She doesn't talk much besides to that hot boy she sits next to." Suddenly Jared (I'm assuming) walks in and takes a seat at the front of the circle.


             "Welcome everyone, I'm here to cover for Estella today, and since I don't know you guys I'm going to ask you all to tell me and everyone else why your here, your name an age, starting with you." Jared says to the guy to his left.


               "My names Joe, sixteen and I'm here because of depression." he says. I shrug. Well that was simple and to the point.


               After him went a girl named Michelle who was a drug addict, are girl named Lou who was also depressed and then the girl with the dark purple hair spoke and I looked directly at her.


               "My names Harper, seventeen and I'm here because I'm holding onto something that needs to be let go..." Everyone else nods their heads satisfied but I need to know more. There's something she left up in the air that I have to have the answer to.


               "Harper I need to know what you're holding on to, does it have something to do with Dakota?" I ask almost jumping out of my chair.


               "Um, excuse me but that's a little inappropriate," Jared says.


                "Shut up," I fire back at Jared. Harper remains silent while she stares at me. She loves to see me like this, begging for her to tell me. I know if anyone has a clue of where Dakota went its her and right now she's hanging it right in front of my face like a cat with a toy. All I need to do is grab it. "Tell me dammit! I know you know what I'm talking about Harper...please just tell me," I hear Jared sick security on me. Everyone in the group is flipping out. 


                 "You can't kick her out, you can obviously tell she needs to be here," someone says. 


                  "Well she needs to stop!" 


                    "Harper you can't do this to me I love him. Please!" I scream tears running down my face. I feel strong arms wrap around me. I watch as Harper laughs. I thrash at who over holds on to me. "Please!" 


                  "I know everything you need to know," she says with a smirk. "When he-" and then I'm out of there. Someone pushes me down in a chair. 


                   "Why would you do that to me?!" I say standing up and punching who ever it was on their chest. "Why?" I scream. He wraps me in his arms and won't let me go, and eventually I get tired of fight so I just cry in his chest, like the way I did when my mom died.


                    The boy pushes my away from him, "Are you alright now?" he asks. It's the boy with the sparkling grey eyes. 


                    "Better but I'm not going back in there," I tell him. He shoves his hands in his pockets.


                     "Why'd you even care enough to drag me out of there?" I ask him .


                      "Because you obviously need to be there and I'm not going to let you mess it up," He says.


                      "Well my names Aspen," I extend my hand for him to grab. At first he hesitates and then he shakes it.


                        "Tanner," he says shaking my hand.


                        "I'm really sorry, about what just hap-"


                       "It's fine, I don't mind," He says with the sexiest crooked smile I'd ever seen. His grey v neck shows a toned chest. This guy is the closest thing to perfect that I've ever seen in person. I take a seat where Tanner had originally sat me down. I couldn't help myself from checking him out. While he paced the hall way.

                           "So what's your story, you seem to be to good to be here," I say to him. He giggles. His smile splits his face apart and his dimples are carved deep into his cheeks. 


                            "Please, don't let my looks fool you. I'm not as perfect as I may look. Long story short, I was a model. Felt to pressured by everything so I started partying every night and got addicted to cocaine." Tanner says. 


                              "Sorry about everything, and by the way I never said that I though you looked perfect," I say with a sly grin.


                               "Oh okay, I see how you going to act. Like you don't want me, even though I know you're wishing you could have me." He say leaning in close to me.


                                  "Whoa, you're really full or yourself. Are all ex coke addict models like you, cocky and washed up without another sponsor wanting you to model for them. I know I'm pathetic but you had everything you could possibly ever want any girl, so why drugs." I ask. He backs away from he, his face horrified that I said that.


                                   "Why are you here then huh? " Tanner asks.


                                    "Depression, my boyfriend...he just vanished. I don't know where he went, but he didn't even say goodbye to me." I look at Tanner who's looking at me with sympathy. "I just wish I knew where he was and why he left me because it kills me everyday that I don't know." I say feeling tears well in my eyes. I wipe them away before they get the chance to spill onto my face. 


                                    "Is he dead?" Tanner asks. The question takes me aback. He wasn't trying to be a dick so I wasn't quick to defend Dakota, instead I decided to take the honest route. 


                                    "Honestly I don't know for sure. I hope he's not...and honestly even if he was and I seen it with my own two eyes, I still don't think I'd really get it because I'm still in love with him. It hasn't really hit me yet that he may never come back, but that's what I'm waiting for, unless someone can give me proof that he's dead I'll be waiting for the day that I come to my senses and I don't think that's anytime soon." I say. 


                                    "I understand," Tanner says. For awhile I just listen to Tanner speak. We exchanged stories back and fourth and I tell him more about Dakota but only because he asked me to. I like how Tanner listened. He reminded me a lot of Dakota only with better looks which Dakota lacked but his personality makes him the most amazing person that God put on the Earth. 






          It was Valentines Day finally. A day when a girl like me feels like she's a princess because I get so many roses sent to me from the nerd and people I've never spoken to all hoping to get a chance. I always wait till the end of the day to get my roses that people plaster my locker with. I don't like to flaunt them, which set me apart from most girls. I was hoping though that this Valentines Day I'd actually have a boy friend, but I had to break it off with Tom. I deserved better than an asshole.


        When I walked into eighth period there was a letter and rose on my desk. I placed my bad down and pushed the letter aside so I could open up to a clear sheet of paper in my binder to take down notes. I looked over at Laura.


          " This isn't some kind of joke is it?" I asked her. She shook her head no.


          "I know I can be cruel but I'm not that messed up. It was already sitting on your desk when I walked in but I did read it, and it's so sweet."Laura chirped. To Laura a 'sweet' letter  is telling her how good she was in bed and how hot or sexy she was so with that in mind I was ready to read a perverted letter written from some under class men. Eventually when I was done and caught up I read the letter.




              Dear Aspen ,



I don't know you from a brick in the wall, but you are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I've never had enough courage to actually say anything to you because I'm not the type of people you hang out with and I don't want to cramp you style. I really would love it if you'd give me a chance. A fair chance, I'd like to get to know you better than just having a couple classes with you. You wouldn't regret it I promise...I understand if you don't want to but I'll make my move one day.



                           From  Anonymous




              I felt my face hurting since I was smiling so much. I looked at Laura, "Do you know who wrote this?" I asked her right before she went to speak and then Mrs. Chance spoke. 


              "Dakota what did you think of the passage we just read?" I turn to face Dakota. A cute hipster. He was wearing a sweater that said Obey on it and with a gray beanie with big nerd glasses. He smiles at me and points to himself. "Mr. Frontwell, answer my question. I know Miss. Rose is a beautiful girl but you need to focus on your studies. Now I'll ask you again, what do you think about the passage we just read."


                "Well Mrs. Chance to answer you question, I thought the passage was beautiful, just like Aspen." My face spread into a smile. I was so embarrassed the whole class was looking at me. After what Dakota just said the class followed with a round of applause started by Laura. Dakota got out of his seat and walked over to me. The classes chants grew silent. "How about that date that I mentioned in that letter?" 


                   "How could I say no?"  And I don't regret that date. It was the best date that I ever went on. I was so thankful I read that letter and that Mrs. Chance said Dakota's name at the perfect time. 



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