If You Really Cared

Carter is a 17 yr. old girl. She has been bullied by 5 boys for years. She has no idea why... Her abusive dad and best friend/little sister have just died. Her mom kills herself over it. All in one day, Carters life is changed forever...

***(the boys are NOT famous in this story... their each around he ages of 16-18...)***


44. Chapter 37

Carter's POV

It had been almost five days since Harry and Kyle had found us. I had cried plenty of times at the loss of Kyle but every time it was alright because I found the comfort of Louis. It was Sunday and tomorrow was the day we were scheduled to go back to school. I thought about how it might be different for me since the last time I went everyone hated me. Now I have five boys who don't. It also crossed my mind that they were the five boys who gave everyone a reason to hate me, and I don't know how that's going to work out.

"Guys...." I entered the lounge room where they all sat happily watching tv and eating.

"I need some clothes..." I finished. Ever since I started staying at Lou's I've been wearing his sweatpants and shirts. I decided that I could over look anything that had happened at my house and I could go there to collect my clothes and some other things.

"I'll take you!" Niall jumped up and volunteered. I smiled at his reaction and hugged him. "Thanks!" I smiled for the first time in days. "Go in the car and I'll grab the keys!" he laughed and pulled away from the hug.

I ran outside letting the chills of the slowly falling snow hit me. I pulled open the passenger seat door and climbed in. After I had shut the door the warmth of the car helped very little. Only a few seconds later I heard a door shut and looked to my side to see Niall starting the car. I buckled up and we rode to my house in silence.

Just the look on the outside brought back memories but I pushed them aside and was determined to stay strong.

"I'll be back, you can just wait here. I've only got to get my bag," I said and climbed out. The snow was falling a bit faster now and I wrapped my arms around myself. The metal of the doorknob was freezing and I pulled my fingers off quickly. I shut the door behind me letting the warmth of the house welcome me.

The smell of dried blood filled my lungs and I looked to the side. The red stain on the carpet caught my full attention and tears slowly filled my eyes at the memory of Aaron. I turned away and trudged slowly up the stairs. My room was at the end of the hallway and as I passed Kyle's room his door left wide open pulled me in.

I entered his room aware of all my surroundings. His bed still un made, clothes laying around, and his bathroom light still on. I walked in his bathroom, we each had one in our rooms which I loved because I hated the idea of sharing one. His things were laid out on the counter as they always had been, his shower curtain pulled aside and a pair of folded jeans sat on his counter.

I walked out and looked at his closet. I walked in and ran my hand along the row of sweatshirts. He had a whole row dedicated to them and I smiled to myself. I picked out my favorite, it was a dark blue and it was way to big on me. The sleeves ran past the tips of my fingers, and it hit about mid thigh, but it was still the most comfortable thing ever. I slid off the red one of Louis's and exchanged it for the blue one. I rolled up the sleeves once so that my fingers could curl over it the way I loved.

I brought my wrist to the tip of my nose as I smelled Kyle. He had always smelt like vanilla bean ice cream. It brought more tears to my eyes and I laid myself on his bed. I remembered how I used to have bad dreams and I'd come in here to lay with Kyle. I pulled the covers over my cold body and cried. I forgot about Niall and everything else.

I wanted Kyle here with me. I wanted to feel his warm arms pulling me closer. I wanted to smell the vanilla scent that covered him. I wanted him to be here now, his hold protecting me from anything and everything. I wanted to feel his brotherly love.

"Carter..." the Irish accent came from a inches away. I peeked out from under the covers to see Niall sitting there. He was rubbing my... butt. But I knew he didn't know because I was underneath the blankets.

"Niall, that's my butt." I stated. "Oh," he didn't laugh or smile but moved his hand up a bit to wear he held my waist. Now would be the time for us both to laugh, but I didn't even have enough strength to smile. I rested my head lightly on his shoulder and cried.

"I miss him... I really miss him," I cried into his shirt and he rubbed my back. "I know..." is all he could say.

Be strong Carter! You cant bring him back! Niall doesn't want to have to deal with this!

The words filled my head. I stood up and probably shocked Niall at how fast my moods had changed. I led him hand-in-hand to my room. He sat on the bed and I pulled out my duffel bag. I went to the bathroom and the blood stains on the rug pulled my eyes towards them.

I pulled back the shower curtain to reveal the blood stains that would forever be there. I remembered the night the boys found me cutting myself and it sent shivers down my spine. I didn't allow myself to cry and I let the curtain fall.

I got out my makeup bag and picked out a lot of my makeup I used daily as well as my face wash. I got my straightner and curling wand and some other hair things. I took them out and packed them into the duffle. I went back to Kyle's room to get Lou's sweatshirt. Niall still sat on the bed. I picked up the sweatshirt off the ground and walked into Kyle's closet.

I pick out two more sweatshirts, a red one, and a gray one with the college he was going to. It hit me. Kyle would never go to college. I'd never be able to congratulate him on it or hug him goodbye. I'd never be able to visit the campus just to hangout with him like had he mentioned before. Tears filled my eyes and I didn't bother wiping them away but I held the three sweatshirts close. I collected two pairs of sweatpants from one of his drawers. Black and gray. I carried them all back to my room, tears still escaping my eyes slowly.

"You alright?" Niall asked worriedly. "Fine." I state and continue packing. I pick out my three favorite pair of skinny jeans and pack them in. I then grab some sheer tops since I love them so much and my favorite Arizona Tea jumper that Kyle had bought me in America. I then packed some plain t-shirts, pajamas, socks, and undergarments.

I found my favorite pair of dark-washed jeggings and took them to the bathroom. I exchanged Louis's basketball shorts for them. I walked back out and laid the shorts on the bed. I picked out a pair of gray uggs and slid them on. I got some black hight top converse, black ballet flats, and two pairs of toms. It was alot but it just barely fit the duffel. Niall picked it up for me and we began downstairs.

"Wait!" I stopped us both and he turned to face me. I quickly made my way back upstairs and practically threw myself on the bed. I hugged my unicorn pillow pet close and let out a sigh. I followed Niall back to the car and we got in. I held the unicorn close and it brought back memories.

"Nice unicorn," Niall broke the silence. "Thanks..." I manage to let out. "Where did you get it?" he just had to ask.

"Kyle." I state and I could tell he knew what I meant because he didn't speak at all for the rest of the two minute ride to Louis's house. I thought back to when Kyle had gotten it for me. I was twelve which meant he would have been fifteen. I didn't know why he got it but I like it I guess. I never really messed with it until, Joseph. I always had nightmares so I snuggled with it at night. Even when I climbed in bed with Kyle I still held it close. I cant explain it. Why a fourteen year old girl would be so attached to a stuffed animal but I was.

Niall pulled into the back driveway and parked the car on the icy concrete that was now covered with a thin layer of snow. I got out and ran to the back door. The unicorn still held close to me and Niall following close behind. I run inside and make my way to the lounge room. I'm expecting to see the boys still there happily watching tv.

"Hello Mrs. James." the head police man turns to me and I look in shock at the two police men that stand before me.

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