Fake Smile. Real Pain.

When she started she only used a pair of scissors and only made a few small cuts. But she didn't cut on her wrist. Not her thighs, not her arms, not her stomach. In a weird place but it's easy to hide, her feet. They were small, only looked like she got scratched by a small dog. Now? Well now she cuts on her wrist, arms, legs, stomach, thighs. Bigger and a little deeper.


2. Chapter 2

I look through my closet until I freeze looking at the card that fell to my feet. I slowly pick it up when memories come flooding back.

"He keeps asking about you." Echo's through my head remembering what my friend said to me about the boy who messed with my heart.

"I'm sorry for hurting you." Runs though my mind, remembering that short conversation on the phone with both of us crying.

The words, 'Hello beautiful' show up in my eyes.

"Can we try again?" That's when I started crying.

Forcing myself to look at the card from four years ago,

'I love you so much. I have this feeling that we will be together for awhile. :) You are really special to me babe. Happy valentines day! <3'

When I was twelve that meant so much to me, I didn't only get a card. I also got a small, pink, stuffed animal and chocolate. This is the story on why this hurts me so much.

Before I started to cut I dated a boy named Seth, he was sweet and nice. We stayed together for eight months before he broke up with me. That card was before he broke up with me and the presents about two weeks later he called me up telling me he was sorry for hurting me. About three months after that I finally forgot about him until my friend told me that he keeps asking about me, wondering if I will ever go back out with him. Now that was when I was cutting so was she left I took the time to cry and cut.

Basically the next thing I'm going to tell you is, we got back together, he messed with my heart so I cut. We were together one second and the next we weren't only for him to call me back the next day and say sorry. We had a, make up then break up then make up relationship. I cried my eyes out and it made my cutting worse. It's the reason why my cutting went from scratches on my foot to cuts on my thighs.

But I always put on a fake smile for my friends and family.

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