Paperwork. Paperwork. PAPERWORK!!! I'm never going to get it done! I've tried reasoning with them, but I can't get any peace. How long do I have to stay here?
P.S. Links to Agent Petal: Friend Or Foe?


1. Saturday


You will not understand this book unless you have read Agent Petal.


Hi. My name is Hattie Potter and, guess what? For the moment, I am living full time at the Dursley's. Due to slow days at M.I.5 at the moment, I've been told to stay at the Dursley's so that I don't have to go to school in order to get through a mountain of paperwork. (The Director (of course) wants to be positive that I am eligible to work at M.I.5 at such a young (PHYSICAL!) age. Therefore, she has asked me to fill out paperwork on everything I have done in the past year!) However, you have no idea how easy Harry makes it look to live here!

Yes, I'm a patient old woman who is losing her marbles but physically, I'm a hormonal 13 year old teenager! Even though I expect to be neglected here, I swear they are going overboard!

One minute, they're all in your face, and the next, you no longer exist. I can't fucking take it!!!! I don't mind not being able to go outside and being strapped to a desk but I need to get on with my paperwork and not having to do house chores like the washing up or laying the table for dinner. And then the next day, not doing any housework to the extent that they even forget to feed me!

Anyway, right now though, I can't concentrate one bit as a constant banging noise is driving me to insanity!

"Dudley, do you have to have to bang the ball against the wall in my room?"

"This isn't your room though."

"Welw done," I say in a baby voice, "Your right, it's not specifically my room but I can't very well do in the cupboard now can I?"

"This is homework?" He is genuinely confused. I pity him sometimes. "We are in the same year,"

There was a pause.


"Oh yeah, so I should be able to understand this, but, it's all gobbledigoop?"

This was going to be a long Saturday. Damn weekends.

"It' homework."

Oh god, he's starting to read it.

"The ince....ince....-"

"Incidence." I help him.

"C c cont.......cont...-"


"I nearly had it!" He starts shouting at me. "How dare you make me look like an idiot!"

You need no help with that. "Dudley, please keep your voice down, Aunt Petunia might hear you."


"So, she might storm up here and shout at you."

"She'll shout at you though, not me?"

He's finally picking things up though he said it with such uncertainty. "Yes, however if I'm told off because of you, who knows what will happen to you? While your fast asleep."

It took him a while to figure it out but eventually, he said "Oh, well bye!"

Finally. As I look down at my paperwork, I mumble to myself "Because of the Thomas Gower incident, we contemplate the importance for safety regulations for time travel. Do you agree that you went back to 1885 for the second time for the right reasons?" This is a tricky one. Yes because I made a promise to Tom. No because I only really went back to see more of him.



Because I made a promise to Tom that I would be by his side through thick and thin and I couldn't just abandon him. I was completely safe. Weather I had been there or not, Tom still wouldn't have been killed and he still would have joined the army 4 years too early. I didn't change anything. All I did was accompany him.

Knock, knock, knock. Not another interruption. Knock, knock, knock. Who in this house would be polite enough to knock for me?

"Come in."

Oh good, Aunt petunia storms in. She still had her hair curlers in.

"What are you doing?" She snaps at me.

"Paperwork?" I reply calmly and a little bit confused.

"What do you mean by it?" She snaps again.

"What do I mean by what?" I question even more confused.

"How dare you threaten Dudders in his sleep!" She hisses at me.

Jesus he's such a snitch!

"Oh, that....."

"Yes, that!" Seriously, does she do anything other than hiss? "I will kindly ask you never to consider anything of the sort again, and as a punishment you can do the washing up for the day."


"You deserve it."

Course I do.


"Well what?"

"Go do it."

"What, have you already had breakfast?"

"Of course, it's already 9 o'clock."

It's only 9. Jesus! How did I get up so early on a Saturday? Oh yeah, I got woken up. 

"Well, what about my breakfast?"

"Oh don't fuss, you'll make do."

uurrghh. Well thanks.

And obviously, she slams the door behind her even though I've now got to follow her out apparently. Why can't I do my paperwork at my desk in M.I.5? It's going to take at least a year to get one page done here!

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