I read this on a different website and wanted to share it on here. Each title is a chapter and in the beginning of each chapter is bit of lyrics that is like a summary for the chapters. All credits to the original creator if you want to read it on the original website here it is :

If this doesnt work try this, go to, on the side it should say search HPFF click it, there should be a search box type in Anesthetics, find the one that says Banner by Sammy Lupin! once you've done that you should have it also here's what it should say:
Anesthetics by UnderRugSwept13
Rating: Mature
Chapters: 20
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Voldemort, OC
Genre(s): Drama, Angst, Young Adult
Era: Marauders
Pairings: Snape/OC, James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, Snape/Lily, OC/OC


3. In The Rough


I offer no sympathy for that.
I hear that it was you who died alone.
And I offer no sympathy for that,
Better off I sparkle on my own.



“Come here, thestral...come here!”

Severus rolled his eyes at my sad attempt at trying to gain the attention of a thestral by leaning over the edge of the carriage and snapping my fingers in it’s general direction. He leaned his head against the back of our carriage and commented in a bored tone,
“You can’t even see them.”
“Does that mean I can’t feel them?” I retorted, the smart ass that I was. He made no indication that he had heard me.
“You have to have seen someone die.”
“I’m aware of that.”

It was getting dark and most of the students had already gotten off of the train and into their respective carriages. Severus and I, being the popular kids we were, had our own carriage. We had waited until the last one came, having no desire to want to fight the masses of teenagers into the Great Hall. It was just would be there when we showed up too.

“I’ve seen someone die, too,” I added, oddly smug by that fact. Again, Severus’ eyes found the dusky sky, as though the thought of looking at me irritated him.
“Clearly it didn’t mean much,” He muttered, “But its hard to be affected by death when you don’t even have a heart.” My attention moved from the invisible thestral to Severus in an instant, my eyes narrowed.
“You’d know a lot about being heartless, wouldn’t you?”
“I can see them,” He said quietly, his complacency quite obvious.
“It was an old bat of a relative anyway,” I defended, waving a dismissive hand, “Like I care. She wrote me out of the will too.”
“You obviously did not win her over with your captivating personality, did you?”

I opened my mouth to respond but settled with an exasperated sigh as the carriage started moving down the bumpy lane. The coach before us was not far ahead, but only its lamps on the back sides were visible through the descending darkness. Large trees lined the dirt path up to the castle, allowing us no view of home until the very last moment. After several minutes of riding in silence and the accompanying dusk, was the spectacular view of Hogwarts revealed.

The grandeur of Hogwarts never ceased to keep me speechless, even for a few milliseconds. It was like a large beast, looming in the shadows, its lamp-lit windows serving for flashing eyes and pointed turrets like sharp teeth. The massive shape of the castle only got larger and even more menacing as one approached it; fully able to take in the vastness of it all. But all the same, I could never consider the castle a monstrous beast. No, quite the contrary as a matter of fact. This beast was my home, the best one I’d had so far. And though I did quite a lot of complaining and didn’t really enjoy the presence of the people living there with me, I could not help but feel the sense of security Hogwarts bestowed upon a person, like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night. I gave a little sigh of relief, happy to be home.

“Enjoying yourself?” Severus’ tenor pierced my thoughts. I did not even reach as far as to turn myself towards him, unwilling to give my attention to him.
“At the thought of getting out of your sight,” I bit back, I heard his snigger in response.
“I’ll save you a seat at dinner,” He returned, and I guess he had a skeptical eyebrow raised at his timbre.
“Only because I take pity on the fact that you have no one else,” I retorted lightly, interested in my fingernails while having the arrogance not to look at him.
“People of our kind flock together like birds of a feather,” Severus added, not missing a beat in the banter.
“And what exactly is ‘our kind’?” I finally turned my attention to Severus, a cynical expression painted on my features. He grinned at this, his mouth curled in his familiar wicked smile.

“Why...the kind of people who claim to hate humans, but cannot admit to the fact that they crave the presence of a person to stifle.”



I sat in silence, irritated by the nonstop chatter assaulting me from all angles. The Great Hall was, as always, packed to the brim with people and the first years hadn’t even arrived yet. As predicted, Severus was next to me while no one sat on my other side, seeing as I was at the end of the Slytherin table. I caught snippets of the haughty voices of my green and silver peers, twittering on about their summers with smug comments such as, “Oh, well my family stayed at our personal château in Burgundy...oldest one in France...” or “I had box seats at the World Cup this year, special invite from the Mongolian Minister, you know...” and “Yes, this new necklace is goblin-made...cost Father a fortune, but only the best for his favorite daughter...”

So instead, I turned my attention to the ceiling, attempting to tune out the many escapades of my fellow classmates, however fabricated the stories were. But the ceiling was an unimpressive merchant of solace; nothing had changed about the night sky since I’d gotten off of the carriage and entered the building. Maybe the stars were a bit brighter, but nothing terribly exciting.

“Cousin!” A familiar voice penetrated my ears as the source took a seat across from me. I gazed at yet another one of my cousins, waving uninterestedly as I rested my elbow on the table, with my chin in the palm of my hand.
“Regulus,” I returned, nodding slightly, “You’re about the nine thousandth Black I’ve encountered today.” The trademark Black smirk twisted his mouth.

Regulus was yet another cousin of mine, brother to Sirius. He was parallel to Sirius, I thought. But then again, we all pretty much looked the same: olive-skinned with high cheekbones (save for Narcissa who was, oddly, extremely pale). Though his steel-colored eyes and dark hair contrasted with mine, it made him look all the more like his elder brother. All the same, the Black trait was our signature smirks and naturally arrogant faces.

He bored me the slightest. Regulus was such a Slytherin elitist that he was tediously predictable when it came to conversation. Anything he said involved bashing his brother, the pureblood race or Lord Voldemort. Almost always, his sentences started with “We Slytherins are/think/can,”. I didn’t need to take Divination to know what a tête-à-tête with him would be like. However, Regulus was maybe the most tolerable of my family (except for Lucida); he provided conversation that I didn’t need to actively take part in. Most of the time, he’d just babble from point to point as though my silence was concurrence; that is, if he even noticed that I wasn’t answering. This often gave him the illusion that he was talking to himself, with me sitting beside him. Though this could sometimes get annoying to listen to, I was not actually obligated to speak, which made me relatively content.

“...but then again, you know how Mother is.” My attention span tuned back in just in time to hear the conclusion of his first thesis of the night. Surely there would be more; I was one of the few people who could actually stand to have him in my presence for more than five minutes. Sadly he was not nearly as popular with the Slytherins as Sirius was with the Gryffindors. Which meant that he stuck with me most of the time.

“Oh Severus, I didn’t see you there!” Regulus’ discovery of Severus, seated beside me, nearly made me scoff aloud. Where else would Snape be? Or maybe it was just Regulus’ falsely surprised tone, laced with his usual snobbery that made me feel this way. But then again, its not like I wasn’t used to this in the least.
“Yes, I’ve only been here the entire time,” Severus answered coolly, allowing me to bite back a smile at his serene appearance, masking the sarcasm. Regulus grinned, looking back between the two of us.
“I should have known. Where there’s one, the other isn’t far behind,” He said airily, adding some kind of strange, ostentatious wave of his hand. I could have laughed right in his face.

I stole a glance at Severus to find his lips curled in a dangerous smile, though he said nothing. Turning back to Regulus, I found him studying Severus and I intently, reminding me of my mother’s beady gaze.

“The family would be happy about this,” He said, pointing his finger back and forth between Severus and I. I allowed a fraction of the confusion I was feeling to furrow my brow. By the looks of it, Snape had no more idea than I what Regulus was speaking of, “A perfect pureblood match,” I felt Severus shift beside me at this but disregarded it. I knew Snape was half-blood. I cared little about it and I was hardly going to broadcast it to the world. What difference did it really make? He acted like a snobbish pureblood all the same. Regulus continued, “Marriage made easy!”

I shook my head involuntarily at this statement, comprehension finally dawning upon me. How could I have been so dense? Any conversation with a Black was usually about marriage.
“We’re not together,” I instantly barked at Regulus, narrowing my eyes in defense. He was unaffected by my quick contradiction but merely raised his eyebrows.
“I wasn’t insinuating that.”
“Then kindly elaborate on the ideas floating in that shallow mind of yours,” Severus added, his voice still silky regardless of the insult he had just thrown. Again, Regulus was impassive to the maltreatment.
“I was merely commenting on the fact that an union between you two would be ideal,” Regulus said smoothly, his lips turning upwards yet again, he folded his hands together and laced his fingers on the tabletop, “You wouldn’t have to go through all the nonsense of being fixed up by your parents. At least you two know each other. No exertion on anyone’s part. See? Effortless,” He ended triumphantly, as though he’d just hatched the perfect plan that no one had ever considered.

However, I was unimpressed. This was not the first time a Black had commented on my camaraderie with Snape. Often my mother had watched the two of us interact on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters upon the start of the summer holidays. Though it was not exactly a BFF kind of affiliation, Severus and I were at least cordial liaisons. And Mother had hooked onto that with a vengeance. Anytime she could corner me, Porrima would ask me about Severus. As usual, I would ignore her or say something offensive that got me in trouble. But other than that, I had not let Mother breach the subject any further.

But the topic was null. Severus and I marry? Disgusting! We couldn’t hold a discussion without insulting one another. A marriage would be atrocious! Besides that, I didn’t love him. Nor did I ever consider the idea that I could love him. I liked the thought of marrying for love...that is, if I could meet one person who I found tolerable to be with for more than three minutes. Truth be told, I hadn’t given a lot of thought to love. Why would I? I was an anti-social bitch. Who would love me?

“You’re ridiculous.” Was my only response as I shook my head in denial. Regulus merely shrugged indifferently.
“If you want to be so difficult...have it your way,” Regulus said.

I opened my mouth to argue but decided not to. What was the point in disputing a view that Regulus wouldn’t understand? Moreover, how could I explain my situation? The idea that I wanted to marry for love but that I was a person who just didn’t love. It was sometimes an impossible subject for my own brain to comprehend. I never expected anyone else to understand.

Regulus aimlessly gazed around the Great Hall for a moment, before adding, rather bitterly,
“Its better than incest, at least,” I chuckled darkly in agreement. If I didn’t find my own match, Porrima and every other female relative I had would go on a search through the family tree to find someone suitable. The idea of wedding a second cousin’s thrice-removed’s nephew’s brother nauseated me. Clearly I wasn’t the only one who thought that either. Regulus cringed, “God, if I married you...I would kill myself.” He declared.
“And if they even made the suggestion...I’d kill you too,” I promised, rolling my eyes.

Again, Regulus was blankly searching the Great Hall as we all waited for the Sorting to begin. Severus sat in his usual silence, scowling over at the Gryffindor table where Sirius and his friends could be seen acting like fools, as usual. Everyone was now taking their seats, catching the changing atmosphere: people were done chatting with friends and wanted the damn Sorting to be over already.

I found myself mirroring Regulus and surveying the scene. Ditzy girls were still twittering in each other’s ears while most guys had adopted the ‘I’m so effing hungry’ look. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the Marauders throwing spoons at each other.

Soon enough, the first years entered, flanking Professor McGonagall and looking absolutely petrified. The Sorting Hat was already set upon its stool and I took a moment to throw it my customary dirty look for being such a pain in the ass to me seven years ago.

However, as I glanced back at the Head Table, I noticed the most peculiar sight. It was a teenage boy, probably around my own age, being ushered by Professor Slughorn out of the chamber from the side of the Head Table. He was not familiar to me at all, but I couldn’t be counted on to know every single person in the school, could I? I cocked an interested eyebrow at him while he made his way toward the Slytherin table as discreetly as possible. I seemed to be the only person to notice his strange appearance.

I vaguely heard the roll call of the first years as they were called to be Sorted, and I deflected the shout of the Sorting Hat. I found myself intrigued by the boy. He was handsome, that much I could admit. His hair was a dark, somewhat long, mess, though in a casual sort of carelessness. I couldn’t tell the exact color of his eyes because he was relatively far away from me, even if he was headed in my direction, but I guessed them to be a light blue or green.

He seemed to be avoiding any attention or eye contact for he kept his eyes on the floor the entire time. However, as he got closer to my end of the table, he briefly looked up and randomly met my eyes; I instantly looked away. But I had held my gaze long enough to know that his eyes were green.

“Hey!” I barely registered Regulus’ soft call of recognition; as I turned to see why he needed my attention, I realized that he was not speaking to me at all.

He had been referring to the mystery boy. Immediately upon Regulus’ hand motion to join him, the boy grinned, nodding and walking faster towards us.
“Who is that?” I whispered furiously, frustrated by my own lack of knowledge. Regulus merely grinned at me. The boy had finally reached us and Regulus scooted over to allow him a spot.

“Julien, meet my cousin Capella Black,” Regulus said, introducing me with flourish as I sat open-mouthed. I could have slapped the smile off of his face. This only seemed to motivate Regulus even more, “Capella, this is our new housemate, Julien de Pontius.”

I don’t know why I was so frustrated by Regulus in that moment. Maybe it was because I didn’t like meeting new people or I hated the idea of him knowing something that I didn’t. Or maybe, it was because Julien de Pontius was really good-looking.

Julien smiled at me, a smug, belittling grin as though he knew how broadsided I was by the fact that he was attractive. Really, I believe that I was bewildered at the fact that I, Capella Black, found someone the least bit appealing. That was truly a earth-shattering moment right there.

It was Severus’ impatient scoff beside me that alerted me that time was still ticking.
“Oh yes, and this is Severus Snape,” Regulus added as an afterthought, introducing Severus just as he had me. I think Regulus liked the idea that Julien was relatively helpless and he, Regulus, would be the one to guide him.

“Nice to meet you two,” Julien’s voice was like silk, and his pale green eyes were charming. He nodded to both Severus and I but his gaze never left me.

And my aforementioned comment came back to me, though with considerably less sarcasm: This is gonna be another great year. Or brighter yet, an even better year.

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