99 days without you (*Completed*)

*This is not my story this amazing person on wattpad made this story. Her name is Edward Sheeran. I thought I would put it up here for all of you to read*

Louis loses Harry. Louis feels as if he can't go on, but tries to stay strong for the boys, and Harry. Knowing that Harry is actually gone, he slips into depression. But, 99 days after Harry's death, Louis knows it's time to join Harry in the heavens.
- Warning: Do not read if you're uncomfortable with self harming, suicide, etc.


71. Harry's Note (part 2)

I guess now I should probably tell you exactly why I'm leaving. It's quite a difficult thing to describe I guess, the feeling of your heart slowly shattering inside your chest. It all started about a year ago, when you announced that you had asked Eleanor out, and the two of you were officially dating. At that moment, I swore there was a large cracking sound right where my heart was supposed to be, and I knew then that I loved you. I guess I had known it for a long time, but I just hadn't been honest with myself. Eleanor helped me realize how much I really love you, so I guess I should thank her for that. But then again, she is part of the reason why I'm leaving. I like her, but at the same time, I absolutely despise her.


Do you know what it's like to sit back and watch the person you love, loving somebody else? It's absolute hell, I'll tell you that. It's torture. Every time she comes around, I feel as though I've been kicked in the chest a million times repeatedly, and my head throbs erratically. It's not that I don't like her, she's a lovely girl Lou, and I'm glad you have somebody like her to love. Maybe it's simply my jealousy speaking, but I feel as though I could treat you better. I've always been here for you, through the bad and good and everything in between, I was there.


I guess what I'm trying to say is---she doesn't love you a much as you think she does, and it hurts to see. I see the way you look at her, and it's not hard to tell that you're completely in love. But with her, it's just...not there. She loves you; don't get me wrong, but not as strongly as you'd like her to.


As for me, my love for you is so strong, it's slowly killing me inside.


God, this sounds conceited or selfish in a way... doesn't it? That's the last thing I wanted, really. I'm happy for you. Truly. She's just not right for you, and maybe one day you'll realize that maybe you loved me too. But I just can't stay here any longer and watch you love her, while I'm slowly pushed into the shadows.


What other reasons are there, you ask? Well, to be honesy I'm just through with living. I've never been the happiest lad, and it's sort of just a condition I've grown up with. Honestly, I'm surprised I lasted this long living. You were the sun in my life, brightening up my world with just your existence. I guess that's why I stayed as long as I did. Well, that and the band.


Did I already tell you to tell the boys how much I love them?


Make sure to tell Niall to keep his head held high... you know how he can get sometimes. If other people are feeling down, it immediately rubs off on him, so try and smile for him, for me? Also, tell him to just keep being Niall. I love that boy; he's the most carefree guy I've ever met. Oh, and let him know how much I'll miss his laugh, and how you could hear him coming before you could even see him. Tell him to keep being Irish too, though I doubt that's possible to change... just though I'd lighten the mood a bit.


As for Zayn, tell him to take care of himself. He gets pretty reckless when he's upset or anything, so take care of him, okay? Take the booze away; just take anything away that he would be able to hurt himself with. Maybe threaten taking his mirror away, I don't know. Tell him I love him, and that he's always been like a brother to me. All of the boys have.


Finally, Liam. He's got his head on pretty tight, so I know he won't lose himself too much. I hope none of you ever lose youselves, but I know he'll be able to hang on and round you all up if it becomes too hectic. I've always admired that about him, his ability to remain steady through the rocky times.


Just tell them I love them, alright?


And then there's you. Louis William Tomlinson. The name just sends shivers down my spine, along with the image of you that's burning in my mind at this moment. It hurts to know that out of everyone, you'll probably take this the hardest. I hate the fact that I'm the one that's hurting you. Though I will be gone soon, just know that I will never leave you. Okay Lou? I will NEVER leave you. I made that promise a long time ago and I will stick to that promise forever. I may not be here physically for you, but I'll always be with you in your heart.


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