My Hopeless Hope - A One Direction FANFICTION

Three years after her family tragedy, Jamie battles more than her own guilt. With no one to fall on but her abusive boyfriend, her problems get worse. After she escapes, will she find someone to protect her? Or will her boyfriend find a way to snake her way back into her life? (Based off of One Direction) WARNING: Contains self harm, eating disorder, language, and cases of rape.


9. Saved

Jamie POV

I tried scooting backwards, but his tan hand grabbed my ankle, pulling me to the floor. I groaned when I fell harshly on my back, but when I looked up, I saw that he was the man who had offered me a drink downstairs that now stood over me.

Suddenly he was on top of me, holding my hands at my sides. He crashed his lips to mine, and I tried to squirm away, until he grasped my jaw with his hand and painfully held my face in place. I bit his lip and he pulled back with a grunt, blood dripping from his mouth. I was suddenly backhanded so hard, I seemed to move backwards.

I held my face in pain when he grabbed my wrist, trying to pull me up, when he looked down at his grasp. "What's this?" He asked, pointing to my healing red scars. He raised an eyebrow. "Like pain, don't you lovely?" I tried slapping him, but he caught my arm and swung me by into the wall. Pain pulsed through my body, and heard myself let out a small scream.

He pushed up against me, his hard member pushing against my leg and stomach. He then pushed down on my shoulders, my weak knees giving out. As he held me in place with one hand, his other hand unzipped his pants and pulled himself out. He squeezed my mouth, trying to open it. I shook my head. "No." I said sternly. "Go find a slut on the streets who might actually find you attractive."

His eyes flared with anger, hitting me across the face again. "Looks like I need to teach you a lesson." He grabbed my hair, and threw me back on the bed. I'm so tired, he must have put something in my water! I tried to push up, but he held me down. Being on my stomach made this so much harder.

He ripped off my shorts and spread my legs with his knee. "You see love, you are the whore. Don't you see how everyone in this house looks at you? We all know you're the boy's little sex toy." He pulled my panties out of the way, and thrust harshly into me. "And I'm about to make you mine."

The pain was almost unbearable. He was so big, and every time I tried to adjust, he slammed into me again. His hands were hard as they bit into my shoulders and clawed at my hips and thighs. He snaked his hands around my neck then , and started to constrict my breathing. As I felt myself slip away, he stopped, turning me on my back. I froze in pain, and to my embarrassment, started to cry.

He turned my head to face his. "You. Are. Worthless." He said with harsh thrusts to make his point. I still felt my body starting to shut down to block out the pain. "These boys probably don't even want you here. Think how bad you are going to make their image." His statements hurt, almost more than what his actions did. Their image? What image?

He took advantage of my quietness. "Oh?" He inquired. "They didn't tell you that they are the biggest boy band in the world?" I tried to hide my surprise. They were famous? "And now they have to worry about is the slut that out stays her welcome." He spit, literally in my face. I flinched. Anger flared in me, giving me the energy to backhand him.

He raised his fist and brought it down, but stopped an inch from my face when a loud knock rang around the room. He froze. "Jamie? What's going on? Are you alright?" I looked at the man above me and whimpered. "Harry," I said, although it came out as a horse whispered. I cleared my throat and tried again. "HAR-" his large hand flew over my mouth. His hand came to my neck, squeezing the air out of me. I scratched his hand, and felt him pull out of me.

I could still hear Harry, "Jamie? Jamie!" I heard him call for the boys. As I was about to go unconscious, I ripped my knee up, effectively hitting him in the jewels. "Harry!" I heard a thud, and looked up to see Liam and Harry in the doorway. The the man still held onto my waist and I reached out a hand for Harry. Liam immediately came over, pushing bronzey against the wall. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" Harry screamed. "She wanted it," was his excuse. Harry was next to me. "Jamie, Jamie?" He said frantically, trying to pull me up.

He started to pull me up, when I whimpered, scaring him a bit. "It's okay, it's just me Jamie!" He said pointed to himself, thinking I was frightened. I shook my head. It hurt, almost everywhere, and moving just made it a thousand times worse. He tried again. "Stop, stop, stop." I begged. "It hurts." His hands hovered helplessly. "Where? What hurts?" He asked, just as Louis ran in.

"Oh God." He swore and came next to Harry. "What happened?" Harry told him he'll explain later. "Just tell me what hurts," Harry said softly. I shook my head, unable to put what had just happened in words. Tears escaped my eyes knowing I'd have to be moved. I took a deep breath and nodded at Harry and he slowly started lifting me. I tried not to cry out in pain, and ended up sobbing instead. I felt Louis take my hand in his. And then I was in Harry's arms being carried. I realized I just had my panties and sweatshirt on.

"Wait, I need shorts." I blushed. Louis left my side, grabbing my shorts. He slid them on and stopped when he saw angry bruises and claw mark around and in my thighs. He slipped them on quickly before punching the wall next to us. "That bastard, that BASTARD!" He roared. "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop him." I offered. Harry's hands suddenly tightened around me, then we were moving quickly to the kitchen.

Harry sat me at the bar. Even though the stool was cushioned, it hurt. He pulled away looking at me to see how badly injured I was. I could almost feel his eyes roaming. I leaned forward, placing my head on the cool marble countertop. Harry got a cold wet towel and laid it on my cheek. I hissed but it felt so good.

"Where's Niall?" Harry sat next to me. "They are taking care of Jeff. Since Louis went outside now, I'm guessing it might be a bit." I sighed. "Did he really r-rape you?" Harry asked, holding my hand. My eyes flooded with tears. I nodded my head. "But, but why?" He barely managed. I sniffled. "I don't know. He thought I was the whore of the house. He made sure to show me my place!" I said, crying.

He was suddenly hugging me. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve it. And I couldn't even imagine.." He said, shaking his head. "But Jamie, he's so wrong. You're such a lovely girl. We would never even think about degrading you like that."

"I just feel so..disgusting." I bowed my head with shame. "No one will ever want to touch me again." Harry blew out a big gust of air. "No, I think you're wrong. They won't think of you that way. We all still love you, Jamie." I tried to give him my best smile.

The back door suddenly flew open, and I jumped, grabbing Harry's arm as I hissed from moving. He shushed me and stroked my hair. I folded my arms and placed my head inside, not wanting anyone to see me like this. "They won't judge you, Jamie. None of this was your fault." Harry whispered and I tensed as I heard footsteps enter the room.

My breathing hitched as I looked up at Niall. I started getting choked up again as I saw the burning pain in his eyes. He slowly came over, his eyes never leaving mine until he saw the my bruised face. With a trembling hand, he lifted the cloth on the counter and sat beside me. He slowly dabbed away some of the dried blood on my face as softly as possible.

His eyes frantically looked for something in mine. His hand dropped the towel, and he placed a shaky hand over his mouth. Tears escaped his eyes and fell over his fingers to the floor. He then pulled me into a hug, his hands around my shoulders. I sobbed. I felt so bad that they all had to go through this.

I heard Niall start to frantically apologize, and I pulled away, still desperately clinging to his shirt. "No, Niall. No." I shook my head at him. "I should have come up when you asked. This wouldn't have happened." Louis said angrily. I sighed, "You don't know that. What happened, happened. We just have to move on."

"But he hurt you, Jamie. You can't just bounce back from that." Zayn said, using his hands to emphasis how upset he was. I looked down at my hands. "It happened a lot, with Dan. So believe when I say I'll live." Zayn's fist pounded the countertop. "This happened to you before and you're just telling us about it now?" He huffed. "We could have helped you. Could have protected you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, the next conversation we have, I'll make sure to start off with: 'Yeah, I've been raped and beaten for the past three years by my boyfriend, but my overwhelming guilt won't let me leave his side!'" I was raging with anger. How dare they expect me to tell them my life story the first week I've met them. I didn't care to notice how they flinched back at my hard voice.

Niall still stayed next to me, keeping me grounded. "We didn't know, Jamie. We're all brothers here, we could have tried to help you." Liam said. "I'm sorry," I breathed. "Coping isn't my strong suit. And none of you deserve that. I understand you were just trying to help. Thank you, for taking care of him." I motioned to the door, not daring to give that disgusting man a name.

"Of course!" Harry said. Louis brought down some band aids and taped up my bleeding eyebrow, and side, but left Niall to help take care of my bruised thighs. He put a cold towel around them, and sat silently by my side. "How will you be?" He asked softly. "Fine, it just takes some days to recover." He kissed the inside of my bruised palm. His warm tears lingering there.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I should have waked you up. I can't even image.." He dropped him face into his hands, soft sobs shaking his body. "I keep seeing it in my mind, you screaming for me, and I'm not there! I'm not there." His Irish accent was much thicker when he cried. I had to really listen to what he was saying. I wrapped my sore arms around him and hushed him.

"It wasn't like that. I don't give up that easily. We fought for the most part." I tried to joke. He looked up at me, surprised. My strong façade gave way when I saw the depth of pain written across his face. "I just need you now, here." I grabbed his hand and laid it on my chest. "Please don't leave me now." I begged.

He pulled me into his arms, crying equally as much as I was. He picked me up, and laid my on the couch with the other boys. We all fell asleep there. Together in one room. I have never felt so safe around people I loved. I thought I was asleep, then again I could be dreaming, when I heard Niall softly sing, "I wanna save you, wanna save your heart tonight. He'll only break you, leave you torn apart. I can't be no superman, but for you I'll be super human. I wanna save you, save you, save you tonight."

I whispered. "Silly Niall." I could almost feel his silky hair brush on my cheek. I smiled through my tears. "You've already saved me."

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