My Hopeless Hope - A One Direction FANFICTION

Three years after her family tragedy, Jamie battles more than her own guilt. With no one to fall on but her abusive boyfriend, her problems get worse. After she escapes, will she find someone to protect her? Or will her boyfriend find a way to snake her way back into her life? (Based off of One Direction) WARNING: Contains self harm, eating disorder, language, and cases of rape.


17. Get Out

Zayn POV

Both of their heads snapped up at the noise. I barely paid attention, as I was pacing the room in frustration before turning back to Jamie. "You have to believe me when I say that we'll protect you, Jay." She scoffed. "You didn't protect me from that!" She said, gesturing to the door. I swore, before pulling her into my embrace and looking back at a confused Harry. "Who is she? How long has he-"Her voice broke off with a sob. "Babe, I don't really think it's my place to tell you." She pushed away from me, slapping my chest with her hand. "Damnit ZaynTell me!" I swallowed as I took in her anger, Harry wrapping a hand around her waist for support. "Her name is Ella. They met before all of this happened. Years and years ago. He loved her, so much that he wanted to marry her. I think he's been secretly waiting for her." Her head dropped into her hands at the secret that has been kept from her.

"I've been such a fucking fool." Harry tugged her hands away. "Hey. Don't say that. None of this is your fault." She threw her hands up at him. "So what now? He's just going to dump me for that..that bitch?" She wiped her eyes, sitting on the bed. I stepped forward, grabbing her delicate hand. "No, Jay. I won't let him do that to you." She nodded, looking over at the phone which had shattered all over the ground. "Uhh." I ran a hand through my hair before rubbing the back of my neck. "Sorry about that. I'll get ya a new one." I looked over at Harry, his eyes clouded over in thought. I dropped my voice, talking into his ear. "Stay with her. I'll go talk to Niall. See if we can't get this sorted out." He only gave me a swift nod before I left them, slowly descending the stairs to the kitchen.

My fists clenched at the sight of Niall dancing around the kitchen with Ella. I bounded forward, ripping him away from her and slamming him into the nearby wall. Hot puffs of air came my mouth as I gripped his shirt, holding him in place. "Fuck! What is wrong with you?" Niall asked, trying to butt me away. "What's wrong with me?" My cynical laugher filled the room, but my grip didn't loosen. "What's wrong with you! Do you have any idea what you've done!" I roared, looking over at Ella. He shook his head, his cheeks flushing with anger. "Do you know that Jamie saw you with her?" I asked, my voice lowering as I let him go, stepping away. "You fucked up." I said, my hand pointing to the ceiling. "She's a mess, Niall." I wet my lips, watching emotion scatter across his face. As he clutched fistfuls of hair, grunting in sadness, I softened. "Man, I love you, but you can't do this to her. To either of them." I added, looking over at a pale Ella who was nervously fiddling with her hands.

She must have felt my gaze because she looking up, biting her lip. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know there was someone else. I didn't mean any harm." I nodded and gave her a weak smile. "None of this is your fault Ella. Don't think it is." She frantically grabbed her coat. "Uh, I should go." She stammered, turning towards the door. "Wait!" Niall followed her, gripping her wrist. "I just got you back. Please stay. I just need to fix things. It was wrong of me to pull your into this." I could hear the raw desperation in his voice. She looked at him for a moment before nodding and sitting on the couch. I turned towards the stairs, hearing Niall follow. I stopped at the door, turning on my heel to face him. "She's quite angry. And upset. Please don't make it worse than it already is." He nodded, walking in. I silently whispered a prayer before walking back down to Ella.

Jamie POV

I stood there, wrapped safely in Harry's arms. Sobs continued to be ripped from my body, my breath hitching. I should have known it was too good to be true. Harry's hands drew shapes on my back, trying to calm me. It hardly worked. I didn't notice the door opening and closing, I did however notice Harry grow stiff, his arms wrapping tighter around me. "Niall." He said, his voice so low and dark that I felt the vibrations on my chest. I quickly wiped my face, not wanting him to see the tears he caused. I looked up, hesitantly, at Niall. The warm feeling in my chest turned it an icy pain, causing me to wince as fresh tears surfaced. I felt Harry's eyes on me as I sniffled, pulling in my emotions and turning on a blank face before meeting Niall's stormy eyes. His blonde hair was disheveled, his lips red, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Jamie, I-" I raised my hand, cutting him off as my anger flared. "Unless you are going to tell me that what we have-" I swallowed, correcting myself. "What we had, is more important than what she was to you, then please save yourself the explanation." I rubbed my temples, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'm sorry I never told you. I just thought she was gone. I didn't think she would…" My head snapped up. "That what, Niall? That she would come back to you and you would drop everything around you to continue what you had? You were going to marry her, Ni!" I took in a shaky breath, blinking rapidly at the tears that threatened to spill. "I told you everything." I whispered. "I told you everything, and you couldn't tell me about one girl?" I looked up at him, finally noticing that he was openly crying. "I trusted you. Maybe if you trusted me, things would be different." He stumbled forward then, wrapping his arms around me as I stood frozen in place.

Suddenly, I was pulled away, my back pressed against Harry's huffing chest. "I think you've done enough mate. Give her some room to breathe." Niall stepped back, visibly distraught on what to do. "I am sorry Jamie, I never meant for it to be like this.. I've waited years, I can't just let her slip leave." He protested. I felt Harry's curly hair brush against my head as he shook his head. "But you're willing to let go of her?" He said, gesturing to me. Niall through his hands up. "What do you want me to do Harry? I can only choose one!" My mouth parted, realizing I wasn't going to be the one. Don't be surprised. You always get fucked over. Although I could tell he regretted his word choice, I barely cared. "Get out." I barely whispered. I felt his eyes connect with me. "Get. Out." Niall swallowed, running a hand through his hand before turning and walking out.

I hadn't realized what I was doing until I pushed myself from Harry's arms, running. I ran away from it, away from the emotions that were suffocating me. I soon found myself in bathroom, rocking myself on the floor. Numbly, I raked through the cabinets in front of me, searching for something to take away the empty feeling that consumed me. I ignored the pounding at the door, taking out the cool metal, placing it on my wrist. I slashed at my skin, the sharp pain having hardly an effect on me. I barely flinched as his large hand caught mine, pulling the blade out and lifting me into his arms. He didn't say anything, his green eyes speaking more than he ever could.

"Harry." I choked out, tugging on his shirt. His glossy eyes instantly caught onto mine. "He-he didn't even fight for me. Am I really that worthless? What did I do wrong?" I asked miserably, his face now blurry from my tears. I felt the pad of his thumb wipe them away as he laid me on his bed. "No Jamie. Please don't think that. He just.." He looked around, gnawing on his lip as he thought. "You don't have to make an excuse for him." He nodded, laying down next to me. His arms opened, inviting me inward. I felt his lips graze my hair as he started to softly hum. His fingers trailed up and down my arm, and I briefly smiled; the pain slowly fading as I fell into a deep sleep.

He will try to take away my pain, and he just might me smile. But the whole time I'm wishing it was you instead.

*Four hours later*

I rode on Harry's back as he carried me down to the kitchen, placing me on the cool countertop. I could hear the soft clattering of dishes and words being spoken. Harry messed with his hair as he followed my gaze. "They're all eating dinner. I just thought we could eat out here." I nodded as he moved over to the fridge, pulling out different things, only to inspect them and put them back in. I crossed my legs Indian style, watching him as he started making a sandwich. I cocked my head to the side as he brought it to me. I simply looked at the plate. "You eat, I'm not hungry." I tried to smile but he continued to frown. He placed it up to my lips and I leaned away. He sighed, setting it back down. "I refuse to let you dig yourself into a deeper hole. You're already hurting Jamie." He said, his thumbs moving across the bandage around my wrist. "Don't do this to yourself."

I looked away, not really wanting to have this conversation. A smile played on my lips as I saw him pull the sandwich up to his mouth, taking a rather large bite. "Mmmm." He said, with emphasis. "I'm glad you enjoy it that much." I said, laughing softly at his exaggerated chewing. He sighed, leaning on the counter in front of me. He held the sandwich up again, the unbitten side towards me. "Please?" He asked, looking intently at me. "For me?" I swallowed, looking at the sandwich skeptically before leaning forward to take a small bite. I chewed slowly, trying to decipher what it was that I was tasting. He laughed at my confused face. "You've never had that before?" I shook my head slowly, licking some peanut butter off the roof of my mouth.

"Keep eating until you guess it." He said, holding up the sandwich again. He pressed it up to my mouth, his eyes full of concentration and his mouth parting slightly as I opened my own mouth. "Is there banana in it?" He nodded, eyes sparkling in approval. "What else?" I smacked my lips together, trying to think of what else I tasted. "Peanut butter and something sweet." He took another bite, grabbing me a cup of milk from the fridge. "Honey?" He dramatically frowned at me as I pushed the plate to his side. "All yours!" I exclaimed, hoping off the counter. As I landed, the walls closed in and reached out as my world tilted. I felt his tight grip on my arms pulling me into him. His eyes screamed worry as I finally settled myself. "Thanks." I said, walking to the bathroom.

I sighed, doing a small dance as I saw it was occupied. I turned to use the other one when I heard a familiar splatter sound, causing my eyes to widen. I walked back pressing my ear gently to the door. A faint sob caught my ears, causing me to press on the door, opening it. Her fragile figure hovered the toilet as I watched her fingers disappear down her throat, only to throw up once more. "Ella?"

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