No More Smiles

Short Story.
Arabella is wrapped up in so much despair that all of the happiness has been sucked from her and her life without her mother feels like it's not worth living.

1. Longing

Hope, laughter, happiness. It's all there but I just can't get it. It's like stretching as tall as you can as a kid and trying to touch the sky but you just can't reach it, no matter how hard you try.

Since mother's death I've been like this, felt like the darkest shadow possible has been cast over my life. She was my world and I was distraught to see her go.

Before I really experienced the grief of losing someone close to me, I used to think death was beautiful. Something that allowed our souls to move on to a blissful and carefree world and make room for new lives to blossom in our own world. Now though, it's just the feared unknown that lurks behind closed doors waiting to pounce on it's victims and cause people to mourn.

People say our eyes are the key to our soul but when I stare at my reflection and gaze into mine all I see is longing, longing for someone to love me, someone to comfort me, someone to care for me and someone to hold me close the way mother did. I know father will never love or cherish me, because he never has.

If I put my head deeply into the velvet cushions on my mother's beloved window seat, I can faintly smell her rose-water perfume that she wore so often.

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