Be Alright

Part 3 of Hannah and Hayley's story. :)


21. Be Strong..

Hannah's POV
Darcy was so beautiful. I didn't want to give her back. When everyone left, Harry and I were just watching tv. 
"Harry, I'm sorry.."-Me. 
"For what?"-Harry. 
"Everything. Telling you to chose Darcy, when it wast fair for you to even have to deal with it at the time. Then passing out on you, not breathing.."-Me. 
"Hannah, you don't have to apologize. You were trying to do what was best for everyone. But what's best for me, is you. Don't forget that. I don't want a family if it wasn't for you."-Harry. He moved closer to me and sat on the bed. I was still hooked up to machines to make sure I was still safe. Harry cuddled up to me the most he could without messing up the wires. 
"These machines suck.."-Me. 
"I know they do. Soon we will be at home and we won't have to worry about machines and wires."-Harry. 
"All we will have to worry about is a screaming baby."-Me. 
"Hopefully she's as good as Bentley was when he was a baby."-Harry. I nodded and laid my head on his chest. 
"When can Darcy be let out of intensive care?"-Me. 
"The doctors said in a couple of days. Maybe weeks. But they have to monitor you to make sure you're okay too. You could be in here for weeks as well."-Harry. 
"Ugh! I just want to go home."-Me. 
"You've been here for like two days, if that."-Harry. 
"Yeah. But I want to be in the comfort of our house."-Me. Harry nodded. 
"Will you sing to me?"-Me. 
"What song?"-Harry. 
"They Don't Know About Us?"-Me. Harry started singing and I couldn't help but smile. I loved this song. He stopped and kissed me on the forehead. 
"I love you Hannah."-Harry. 
"I love you too Harry."-Me. I ended up falling asleep not long after to the steady beats of his heart. I woke up to hear Hayley and Harry talking in hushed voices. 
"The doctor said Darcy is doing great, Hannah is a different story.."-Harry. 
"What do you mean?!"-Hayley. She was in tears. 
"Hannah's body is almost pushing the medicine out of her system. Dr. Rhodes said its almost like she's putting a stop to it in her body."-Harry. 
"But what does it mean?!"-Hayley. 
"It means Hannah isn't doing good. At all. She's almost dying. If it wasn't for the machines she's hooked up to, she'd be dead."-Harry. Hayley broke down in sobs. Harry's voice was strained and it was painful. Was I really that bad? 
"Harry, she can't die.. She can't."-Hayley. 
"I know that."-Harry. 
"I'm going to go visit Darcy.. Want me to have them bring her to you?"-Hayley.
"I don't want to see her until Hannah is doing better. I'm not kidding when I said that I didn't want a family if it wasn't with Hannah. I can't do it.."-Harry. 
"You have to see your daughter Harry.."-Hayley. 
"I just said I couldn't fucking do it."-Harry. She must've left the room because all I heard was Harry's uncontrollable sobs. His chair was flung back and their was a huge crushing sound. I couldn't pretend to sleep anymore. I jolted up and saw him step away from the wall. He punched a huge hole in it.
"You're awake."-Harry. I couldn't find my voice, so I just nodded. 
"Don't be scared.."-Harry. 
"I'm not. Just surprised."-Me. 
"You were play sleeping weren't you?"-Harry. I once again couldn't say anything. I nodded. 
"I knew it."-Harry. 
"So is it true?"-Me.
"Am I dying?"-Me. 
"Yes. You need.. You can't.. Hannah I can't lose you. Darcy can't lose you."-Harry. 
"And Darcy can't lose you just because I'm not there!"-Me. 
"It's not that easy!"-Harry. 
"What isn't easy?! Seeing Darcy? That's pretty fucking easy!"-Me. 
"Not when she looks like you! Not when I had to make love to you to have her! Not when the only thing that makes me want a family is you! It's not easy.."-Harry. 
"If I die, I don't expect you to not see her. You're not like that. You're going to be an amazing father. Please, just give up on me."-Me.
"How could you say that?! I can't give up on you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I love you Hannah!"-Harry.
"And I love you. But lets face it, you've always been better without me."-Me. 
"No. That's not true! That will never be true!"-Harry. 
"Without me, none if this would of happened! You lost your friendship with Niall multiple times. You and Liam are still not friends! I went from you to Niall many times!"-Me. 
"But you always came back to me."-Harry. 
"But when I wasn't there, you had not one problem. You could be a teenager. You could love your life without worrying about me. I'm a fuck up and I've always been a fuck up. It's time to let go of hope and realize I'm not worth it."-Me. 
"You'll always be worth it."-Harry. 
"No I won't. I've never been worth it. I'm not good enough and I never will be."-Me. 
"That's not true!"-Harry. 
"I'm thirsty, will you get me some water?"-Me. He nodded an kissed me on the cheek. When he left the room, one thing was on my mind. 'Im not good enough.' 'Im going to die anyway.' I turned to my side but a wire came loose. Harry was in the room looking at me. 
"You saw me move and it came undone, I didn't kill myself."-Me. Harry dropped the water and ran over to me. He started trying to out the wire back but I started seeing black dots get in my vision. I stared into Harry's eyes. 
"I have always loved you. It was always you.."-Me. Then I let the darkness take over and I couldn't feel anything else. I couldn't hear anything else. And I most certainly had no clue what was happening. I saw a little white light an debated on following it. I started contemplating. It will be for the better. I heard Harry sobbing and then I heard feet running into the room. My other hand was taken and kisses were given to the palm. I'd know those kisses anywhere... Niall. Why was he there?
"Can I have some time with her?"-Niall. 
"As long as you don't touch her anymore. Or kiss her."-Harry. Nialls hand was the only thing I could feel. He seemed to be acting shy. I could still only see darkness. No light was shining anymore. I've turned it down. I've turned the only way I couldn't put everyone out of misery. I've turned down the way to help Darcy not have to hear about my past.. But I've allowed myself to be in Darcy's and Harry's future. I couldn't find the strength to climb up the long ladder to return to life. I couldn't find the strength to say anything or move anything. All I could do is listen to the quiet sobs of my ex fiancé sitting by my side. 
"I don't know what to say.."-Niall. 
"But, I do know you didn't do it yourself. You moved. So I hope, that's what Harry said. I want you to shake that dark cloud off. I want you to follow my voice. I miss you Hannah. We were best friends! It just vanished. I wasn't a good guy to you and I know I wasn't. I was an asshole. A dick. Hell, I was a lot. But you never lost faith in me. And Id like to believe you still have hope in me. I have hope in you. I know you're strong enough to kick this sleeps ass! I know you can. You took everything your life has given you, you can do this. Do it for Darcy. Darcy needs her mother in her life. She does. Harry is a mess. I know that feeling. After you left me, I wanted you to believe I was going to change. You waited for me for too long. I lost my chance and I'm happy you're happy with Harry. I'm happy you have a baby like you've always wanted. I just want you to know, I have faith you'll return to them like you always used to return to me when I lost my way. You were my lantern in the dark and you still are, believe it or not. Let them be your lantern to have guide you through this. They need you am I know you need them too. But I need you too Hannah. I still love you and I always will. You meant, mean, so much to me. I can't lose you now. Harry is head over heels for you, I can tell by the way he looks at you. And I can tell you love him just the same. Wanna know how I know that? I see the way you look at him too, I know that's love because that's the same way you used to look at me. But you've always looked at Harry with more love... It was always him. And I know that. He was alway a lot better to you then I was. He was always wiping your tears when I would come home drunk or high. He would always try to pick you back up, even when you tried to ignore him. Yeah, he's made some mistakes with you, but he will never go to the extent I ever did. I hurt you a lot Hannah and you never left my side until enough was enough and I had no reason for you to lose hope.. Don't let yourself do that with him. He's out there sobbing and not wanting to go on with life without you. It's been three days since the doctor said you're in a very heavy stage of a coma... It's been three days that Darcy's getting better. She's stronger. Almost as strong as her momma. Don't make her not have a momma Hannah. Don't make her have to go through life wishing she was never born because she was the reason she doesn't have one. Don't make her feel like that. Kick this comas ass and come see her and Harry. Come see all of us. Louis. He misses you like crazy. He hasnt slept at all. Hayley. Sea a wreak. She doesn't want to leave your side. Zayn. He won't sleep. He doesn't want to leave the room. He keeps seeing and bringing Darcy in to see you though. Bentley. Cries every day. He hugs you daily an kisses you on the cheek while telling you how much he loves you. Me. I try to do this everyday. To remind you I love you and I miss you. Liam. He has a hard time.. Just, we all need you."-Niall. He kissed my cheek and buried his face into my neck. I felt hit tears stream down my neck and into my collarbones. If I could, I would be bawling... I tried to climb the ladder but fell right on my ass when I was about three steps away. I was instantly tired and slept on the cold, hard ground. I just want to do why I need to... I need them. Please God, help me..

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